I read somewhere that “Time is
a Concept That Humans Created.”
When we were younger
many of us felt time didn’t move fast
enough. There was always a goal to
reach – a time to be old enough to
drive, a time to get a job, a time to get
married, and eventually a time to retire.
Of course, we all had plans for
other major things in between. Was
there some kind of internal “time
clock” we had to punch or a list we
had to check off? Looking
back, I think while
going through life’s
journey one
doesn’t have
t i m e to always
w a t c h t h e
clock, but
j u s t
l i k e
t h a t ,
it bec
ome s
t ime to
ret i re. How
did that happen?
Where in the past
time couldn’t pass
fast enough, now I’d
like to slow it down
a bit. Of course, the
thought of aging associated
with time
never grabbed us
then as it does now.
Am I alone, but I don’t
enjoy hearing phrases
like “the aging
population,” “as you’re getting older”
or “at your age…” I think aging
should be like a fine wine, mellow
and delicious. Forget that my body
is beginning to take the shape of a
wine keg!
I came across an article recently
that absolutely reflects my
sentiments on aging. It talks about
the various techniques people can
use to measure age. Picking one
you like better over the other is
up to you. I’ll describe two of the
most common and you decide.
Most people measure their age in a
chronological manner, but scientifically
speaking, biological and metabolic
can be used as well. “Well,”
you ask, “what is that supposed to
mean?” For those of us who don’t
walk around with a Taber’s medical
dictionary, let me try to explain.
First, “biological age is a measure
of how well or poorly your body is
functioning related to your calendar
age.” As infants, sometimes age is
measured in months - 3 months,
6 months, 18 months, etc. I don’t
think I’d like to use that
method at this point in
time because I would
probably have to say
I’m over 800 months. That’s a really
big number. Come to think of it I’d
rather count years. Somehow, my
many years don’t sound as bad as
their equivalent in months. Besides,
I think I have something to confess.
The pages in my life’s calendar are
stuck together and probably have
been for the last twenty years. I
remember the exact day. (Right!)
It must have happened on March
5, 1999 as I was celebrating the
birth of my granddaughter and I
“accidentally” used my calendar as
a placemat for my dish of no-taste,
nutritious, low fat cheesecake tofu
ice cream. Was that wrong to do?
My doctor always said to eat before
I exercise? Isn’t jumping up and
down for joy an exercise? He, just
didn’t tell me what to eat. My conscience
can live with that explanation!
Listen, everyone knows growing
old is unavoidable. In my case,
I also feel never growing up is also
an option. I don’t want to stop the
clock I just want to put it on pause.
Second, “metabolic age depends on
such things as your activity level,
genetics, height and weight and
actual age compared to
others of the
same age.
If your metabolic age
is lower than your actual age,
it means your body is in good
health.” Well who am I supposed
to use as a model for my metabolic
age - the people who are
still playing golf or tennis? I’m
glad I can still bend and tie my
shoes. Actually, that’s a lie. I wear
step-ins. I’m on the losing end of
that comparison. People I’d love to
be compared to are the ladies who
shop and then have lunch. Isn’t
walking in and out of stores in a
large mall considered low-impact
exercise? Weight Watchers tells us
to park as far as you can from the
entrance to the mall so you can do
a little walking. That doesn’t always
work. Sometimes those spots are
taken by people who are using the
gym. Several years ago, I joined a
gym. Nothing changed. Apparently,
you have to go there.
I think an upbeat attitude should
also be a crucial part of measuring
age. Positive begets positive. It is
my duty to alert you to the reality
that many people don’t always
share my thoughts. I don’t let them
cloud my “rosy attitude.” Once my
doctor had the nerve to say, “Well
for your age you’re doing well.”
or maybe on occasion I’d hear a
friend say, “At our age what do you
expect?” That’s not what I like to
hear or what I am thinking. That’s
why I’m always looking for new
doctors. It’s hard to find one older
than me who thinks I’m still a kid.
As for friends, I’m down to my last
two. A positive attitude helps trump
all the little bumps we encounter in
life and enjoy the fab moments even
more. Let’s face it, some people are
old at eighteen
and some are
young at ninety.
It’s mind over matter
and sometimes my body has
a mind of its own, and sometimes
my mind isn’t always communicating
directly with my body. It’s up to
you and a glass of zinfandel to steer
it in the right direction.
No matter what you use for
measurement, research shows that
“aging successfully is a combination
of exercise, a healthy diet, keeping
engaged with life” and lying about
your age. Maybe one day if I tell the
wrong age long enough, I’ll really
start to believe it. The question is
will anyone else? It’s off to exercise
I go. Has anyone seen my jump
rope? Don’t worry! I don’t jump.
I’m a turner!
How far can you go to alter your
time-clock? Well, recently there was
great excitement about the possibility
of life on Mars. It seems that
methane gas was detected by our
exploratory Mars rover. Methane
gas is “commonly produced by the
metabolism, decay and flatulence
of living organisms” which could be
caused by gassy Martian lifeforms
or “maybe from erupting volcanoes
and underground streams.” Well as
long as we’re exploring the solar system
for alternative life maybe there
could also be a planet that would be
more favorable in measuring age?
FUNNY HOW TIME
SLIPS AWAY (TITLE BY WILLIE NELSON)
24 NORTH SHORE TOWERS COURIER ¢ August 2019