Spring is okay. It’s not my
favorite season. Most people
I know love this time of the
year. For me, with its arrival comes
itchy eyes, sneezing - aaaand another
birthday. Somehow, I’m not
as upset with the itchy eyes and
sneezing as I am with the birthday.
Probably because itchy eyes and
sneezing can be fixed, another
birthday and the kvetching that
goes along with it aren’t as easy.
I do admit I’m grateful for each
birthday but somehow, it’s getting
scary. Wasn’t I looking forward to
my sweet sixteen yesterday? Why
do these birthdays seem to be coming
faster? Is it just me that feels
I took another of my inglorious
polls, and found that I’m not alone
in my thinking about the velocity
of time. I actually do look forward
to getting together with precious
friends and celebrating our birthdays.
It’s lots of fun. We spend
hours of talking and reminiscing
and laughing. We are fortunate to
have each other – friends of long
standing (I don’t use the word old)
and newer ones.
Well, spring is spring and we
can’t do anything about that.
Sometimes even I just can’t help
but get caught up in the enthusiasm
which comes with the rebirth of
nature that comes with spring – the
vivid flowers and the green leaves
on trees, and the birds and the bees.
Wait! I think the birds and the bees
can be a topic for another story.
Okay, so for some of us there’s
another type of rebirth – the rebirth
of girth! Maybe it’s something associated
with winter hibernation
(like a bear) that goes back to the
caveman when it was difficult
to hunt for winter food. I don’t
think there was a ShopRite
supermarket cave on every
corner. Perhaps the caveman
would eat and eat and survived
the dark and cold of winter by
sleeping off his last big meal. I have
nothing to base this theory on and
who’s around that long to say I’m
wrong? Please forgive me. I’m trying
to use the cold and darkness of
winter as an excuse for my eating.
Winter is not flowery and leafy like
the new foliage of spring or green
like the bushes or as attractive.
I really have to stop my whining,
but winter isn’t really all that bad.
It’s next to my favorite season, fall.
To me fall is truly the most colorful
season more so than spring,
but I also like my world when it’s
blanketed in white snow. Isn’t it
sepia-like with the contrast of
early darkness against the gray
snow filled clouds? Although it
is very dramatic, when the days
become dark earlier, somehow
it becomes part of my excuse for
eating. I must admit I sometimes
enjoy lower lights for only two
reasons when I’m eating - one, it’s
romantic (gornisht helfin – too bad)
and two, so that I’m only able to
see some of the food, not the ones
I shouldn’t be eating. (Chocolate
syrup blends in nicely when the
lights are dimmed, especially on the
low fat, no taste chocolate crunch
Oreo ice cream.) With my vision
being compromised by the dimmed
lighting, I can’t readily distinguish
the difference in heaping spoonsful
or bowl size. Does it really matter?
Wasn’t there a great philosopher
who said, “What you can’t see, you
can’t be responsible for.” Maybe
that was me talking to myself. Not
Right now, as spring
is rapidly approaching,
I am no longer in
a deep hibernation mode and it’s
time to do something for myself –
exercise, and walking to be specific.
My dear friends, you all know, I’ve
tried almost every type of exercise
available and haven’t been too
successful. One day last week, I
must have been delusional. One
of my “besties” and I decided to
walk around the grounds, armed
with our walking sneakers (more
like creeping sneakers). We made it
around the parking lot halfway and
tried to breathe in between gasps.
Walking is said to be a good exercise
– just put one foot in front of the
other. The best part about it, (I’ve
been told. How would I know?)
is while walking, it affords you the
opportunity to be able to hear heavy
breathing again. Sure! This kind of
heavy breathing might be reminiscent
of long ago fun, if I don’t have
a heart attack first. Really? I’ve been
told on many occasions that I walk
very slowly. Maybe I should speed
up a bit? I wouldn’t say how slow
my “ bestie” and I were moving,
but an inch worm passed us. That’s
I love to back up some of my stories
with intricate facts, so I spent
three seconds doing research.
FUN FACTS ABOUT WALKING:
1) The world is about 25,000
miles in circumference and the
average walking rate of a person
is 3 mph. It would take a person
walking nonstop approximately
347 days to walk around the world.
If that person were a woman and
s h e knew there was a big sale
in her favorite store at
the end of her walk
she’d do it in half
the time. Motivation!
2) To burn off one M&M
candy, a person would need
to walk the entire length of a football
field. Why bother with one
candy? To make
why not eat the
3) A 150 pound
man burns 100 calories
walking a mile.
A 200 pound man
burns 133 calories walking a mile.
A 250 pound man burns 166
calories walking a mile.
A person burns essentially the
same amount of calories whether
he runs or walks. Too much work!
Personally, I’d rather take an Uber.
4) It would take an average of
one hour and forty-three minutes
of walking to burn off a 540 calorie
Big Mac. So, eat Burger King!
5) Humans became bipedal three
to six million years ago. Scientists
believe humans started on two legs
to carry goods and to use energy
more efficiently. Too bad they
didn’t have malls or golf courses.
Things would have turned out
better and sooner.
6) A 150 pound woman would
have to walk 4 mph for 48 minutes
to burn off a 240 calorie donut. I
know that! Don’t we all? “Hello,
where’s the nearest Dunkin
7) Chickens, pigeons and quails,
etc. – at least 8 of 27 families of
birds bob their heads when they
walk. Research suggests they do
this because head bobbing helps
with balance, provides depth perception
and sharpens vision. I do
all of these things. My balance is
awful, I keep falling because of
bad depth perception and I need
new glasses. All this does is give
me a headache!
8) In your lifetime you will walk
about 65,000 miles. That’s 3 times
around the earth. Not if I can
9) To quote Friedrich Nietsche
– “All truly great thoughts are conceived
while walking.” Why didn’t I
know this while planning my family?
It could have been more fun.
My advice to you – I’m not a
maven about a lot of things, but
I do have a suggestion. To stay
healthy, you need to work at it
and also, it’s great if you can let
people know your exercise regimen.
One of my friends who I
guess probably walks more slowly
than I do told me she’s going for
a five-mile walk. A great idea;
however, that was a week ago and
she’s still walking. Who knew, but
the good part is at least I know
where she is. Oy vey!
THE “ARCH” DE TRIUMPHE
26 NORTH SHORE TOWERS COURIER ¢ June 2019