MAY 2019 • LONGISLANDPRESS.COM 43
PARENTING TIPS
CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Teaching children how to express
their feelings properly at an early
age helps them succeed later in
life. (Getty Images)
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FAMILY & EDUCATION
By MICHELLE DELL’AQUILA
In adults, emotional intelligence
— the ability to understand and
manage emotions — can help in
social interactions and is even
linked to varying degrees of
success.
What about children? It can be difficult
to understand, but many educators
suggest that young children
should be taught the basic concepts
of emotional intelligence to prepare
them for their future.
“Children’s effective use of emotions
enables them to control their instinctive
reactions in stressful conditions,
to learn to better communicate their
emotional state, to develop healthy
relationships with family and
friends, and to become successful in
school, work and life,” (Elias & Weisberg,
2000; Elias et al., 1997; Payton
et al., 2000).
The key components of emotional
intelligence are motivation, self-regulation,
self-awareness, social skills,
and empathy. In children and adults,
each component can be assessed
and the skills improved to promote
growth in our emotional intelligence.
Research has shown that children
who are emotionally intelligent do
better in both school and work. Skills
such as communication and coping
with stress are becoming highly
sought-after traits in the workforce.
Emotionally intelligent people are
better able to cope with difficult situations
and people while performing at
a highly successful rate both at work
and in school.
Emotional intelligence does not only
involve the emotions of a child. It
also involves the emotions of others
in a child’s life. By gaining emotional
intelligence, they can understand
how others are feeling and can
improve the quality of their social
interactions.
Emotional intelligence helps
the child relate to those around
them — a skill needed for their
entire life.
The first step is to help them name
the emotion they are feeling. Rather
than suppress or ignore anger, frustration,
over-the-top joy, etc., ask the
child how they are feeling. When
a child is helped to realize they are
experiencing an emotion and what
exactly it is, they begin to identify
and acknowledge their feelings.
After the child practices identifying
feelings and emotions, ask some questions
such as “What was the happiest
moment of today?” Both children and
adults experience a wide range of
emotions throughout the day, and a
question like this will help them reflect,
recognize, and become aware of them.
The last thing to do to help teach a
child to recognize and understand
their emotions as well as others’ emotions
is to lead by example. A parent
should explain to their child how the
parent feels and why, to show them
how to recognize emotions — both
positive and negative — and deal with
them in a healthy manner.
Michelle Dell’Aquila is a licensed
therapist and the Director of Child
Development Advice – an educational
consulting agency.
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