ON YOUR MARK,
GET SET, GO!
My youngest twin grand-son
(by one minute) who
probably weighed less
than my last Passover brisket at
birth, recently participated in a
Triathlon, which in essence with tri
as a prefix for three, is a three sport
competition event. Of course, 19
years have passed since the birth of
this adorable baby, who by the way
is now a gorgeous, strapping 6 foot
young man. I watched as he learned
to walk, fall down and then get up
and try, try, again until he was not
only walking but toddling every-where.
I recently was fortunate
enough to watch as he swam near-ly
a mile, bicycle close to 25 miles
and run a course over six miles
long, without a stop, and having
great results for all his efforts. He
practiced for months and months
by getting up at 4 a.m. to work out.
If incentivized I could have joined
him at that time, because I rarely
sleep, but I was busy with my own
Triathlon of watching Seasons 14,
15 and 16 of Silent Witness.
How can our roles have switched
so fast? What’s nineteen years? A
lot! He, before my eyes who was
once a wobbly toddler, and I, the
sure footed one was now becom-ing
a wobbler. I know I can’t walk
with that same long steady stride as
well as he does, but I manage to get
around. For sure I probably could
use a tricycle instead of a bicycle.
At least that has three wheels. Does
all that movement make me eligible
for something other than an even-tual
911 call? Oh, another thing. I
usually swim in three feet of water.
Eh, not really swim. In the old
days we called it the Coney Island
breast stroke. A splash here or there
on your chest was the fulfilling
requirement. Those are my skills
that are available to participate in
a Triathlon of some sort.
Years ago, who knew words like
Triathlon, schmiathlon? I never
heard of such a thing. City kids
raced each other down the block
on our roller skates, scooters and
our Schwinn bikes. At the munic-ipal
pool we were busy diving for
pennies. That was the extent of
our competition and we loved it.
However, after college, in prepara-tion
for what seemed like a 2,000
word vocabulary part of the teach-ing
exam, I began studying prefixes,
suffixes and roots of words. Did I
need that extensive a vocabulary
to use with my K-2 license to teach
6-8 year old students? Not really,
but good did come out of this. Yes,
because I developed a love of the
study of words, their origins and
development, something called
etymology.
So now that I’ve told you all
this, let me explain that I immedi-ately
went into strategy mode and
researched the background for this
ancient rite of passage, the Triathlon.
My research shows that competitive
games started with the Greeks in the
9th century. Drawings show that
the athletes wore some type of skirt,
sandals, a shmatta to keep the hair
out of their eyes and carried a spear.
Today’s athletes are quite different.
They wear sunglasses, headphones,
breathable shirts, iPods, stopwatch-es
with a GPS, drinking water,
wicking shirts, knee supports and
lightweight shoes that probably cost
a few hundred dollars. Oy. What
a difference a few thousand years
make! Now it was my non-Greek
Long Island born and bred grand-son’s
turn to compete in our 21st
century version of the games.
While he was strengthening his
body for this athletic challenge of
endurance, I must admit my person-al
challenge was not as athletically
comprehensive as his. I can happily
say I’ve completed 14 laps walking
in my carpeted hallway, sometimes
making stops to speak to neighbors.
Soon I may be graduating to laps in
the arcade. That’s harder because
there are more people to stop and
talk to along the way.
Our pools here at the Towers are
lovely, but I can only swim with the
support of three Styrofoam noodles,
but I think I’m exceptional at wad-ing.
Is that a competition? With the
level of difficulty wading presents to
me, and my success in overcoming
it, it should be. Occasionally there
is an instructor in the pool. I try to
avoid those times because after a
jumping jack and a bend or two,
I start to sweat. Yes, people can
actually sweat in the water. After I
begin to realize how out of shape
I’m in or if sometimes my sun hat
gets too soggy I come to a halt. That
usually happens after five minutes.
Why not? Those excuses may not
be acceptable to you but are good
enough for me. I think I’ll just
practice going up and down the
steps. Kiddie pool, anyone? You
know the water is always warmer
there. Hmmm? Swimming used to
be my favorite sport and believe it
or not still is. I’m very supportive
and sympathetic to special causes.
Recently, a guy knocked on my
door and asked for a donation for
the local swimming pool and I gave
him a glass of water. How’s that for
an endorsement?
Running might be a bit more of
a challenge. I enjoy walking better,
even though it’s beginning to look
more like a stagger. Maybe I could
do a quick-step? I’m a champ at
doing the quick-step when I drink
too much water. Come to think of
it we all are! The last time I was in
some kind of a walking challenge
was when I couldn’t start my car
and I had to complete a special
morning chore. “After half a mile
of walking I thought I was dead.
After one mile I wished I was dead.
After a mile and a half, I knew I was
dead. After two miles I realized I
was too tough to kill” (1) and of
course the coffee and cheesecake
waiting for me at the end of my
sojourn, namely Starbucks, was
worth the effort.
Biking can be fun but I want an
easy way to do it. In the past I’ve
mentioned wanting to own a tricy-cle.
Why a tricycle? Because I had
a shiny red one as a kid. Research
reveals that the three wheeled trike
is one of the oldest forms of human
powered vehicles. Who hasn’t
encountered a trike when they first
rode as a child? Well, now that I’m
approaching my second childhood,
I want another one. Okay! Okay!
I’ll make one concession. It doesn’t
have to be red. Maybe bright yellow.
Just in case I get lost, it’ll be easily
spotted. I would like to set up a
racing path right here at NST. That
wouldn’t be too hard because it’s
already built into our traffic circle
around the plaza. With the limited
traffic that we have, it would be a
safe place for us seniors to burn
rubber. I think to add variety we
can make it the customary con-secutive
laps of racing or present
the challenge of an obstacle course.
That would be to drive carefully
around the Amazon delivery truck
that comes here a million times a
day or an occasional UPS pick up
or drop off. I guess after a lap or
two we might need to stop for a
shot of Ensure to boost our energy.
Personally, I’d like to take my ener-gy
booster straight as a cheesecake
malted. Which would be a combo
of chocolate, some milk and a little
cheesecake thrown in. If you like it
thick, you might add a little crust.
You know me and cheesecake.
Another form of racing could be
a relay race, passing your cane, I
mean baton, along to another rider
who is your racing partner. I don’t
think we’re ready for drag racing
yet but you never know. The fastest
time for competition in a drag race
with two cars is 3.58 seconds for
¼ mile. I could probably complete
the ¼ mile in three hours on my
trike. Why not? Just as long as my
cardiologist is part of the crowd
cheering me on. The best part is
that we can also have our children
and grandkids there, giving us
shouts of encouragement. Again,
why not? We did it for them, now
it’s their turn for us. 26 NORTH SHORE TOWERS COURIER ¢ November 2021