MEN’S CLUB NEWS
BY HOWARD ARKIN
WHERE HAVE ALL THE SALAMIS
GONE?
Last week at one of the
Men’s Club breakfast, Bob
Mark informed us of a per-sonal
crisis that had been
occurring in his life. It seems
that he was unable to find any
Hebrew National salami in any
of the local stores where he did
his shopping. I told him that
he had to be mistaken. How
could the ShopRite on Marcus
Avenue not have Hebrew
National salami?
Being the benevolent good
soul that I am, I promised Bob
that I would scour Queens and
Nassau Counties and possibly
even Brooklyn and deliver
to him half pound of sliced
salami at our next breakfast,
gratis. I thought of getting him
a whole pound but my benevo-lence
does have its limitations!
My first stop was the ShopRite
on Marcus Avenue followed by
stops at Stop & Shop, North
Shore Farms, Costco and
Walmart, all with no success.
Out of curiosity I went to my
iPad and looked up Hebrew
National Salami and lo and
behold, there is a Hebrew
National salami shortage.
The shortage is so severe that
Conagra, the parent company
that owns Hebrew National as
well as many other well-known
brands, is currently building
additional plants to handle the
increase in demand for their
products.
It was getting late and I
began to think how I would
break the news to Bob, that I
had failed him, when a thought
came to me. I called Ben’s
Delicatessen in Bay Terrace.
Yes, they had salami and yes,
it was Hebrew National! By
10:00 the next morning I was
on the Clearview Expressway,
bound for Ben’s. I wasn't tak-ing
any chances.
After telling Bob of the great
effort that I had made, I proud-ly
presented him with his half
pound of salami. He thanked
me and told me that one of
his sons had already brought
over enough salami to last for
a year.
Do you think that he would
have been offended if I had
kept the salami?
COMING UP
AT THE MEN’S CLUB
Every Monday, 10:30 am –
via Zoom
Gary Darche talks current
events
Wednesday, November 10,
7:30 pm – via Zoom
Noted lecturer Richard Knox
will discuss the life and times of
Leonard Bernstein
Sunday, November 28, 7:30
pm – Main Card Room
Bingo called by Irwin Shanes
For information contact Jerry
Siegel 347-235-4513 or Toby
Horowitz 718-279-0082
A Typical Men’s Club Breakfast
For those of you wondering,
this is a synopsis of a typ-ical
Men’s Club breakfast
get together and what you might
expect to hear at the gathering.
The evening prior to the
club breakfast on October 1st,
the Yankees had defeated the
Toronto Blue Jays, just about
assuring them a spot in the
upcoming playoffs. Surprisingly,
Jack Sevita, considered by many
to be North Shore Towers’ num-ber
one Yankee fan, told us that
the Yankees would lose their
final three games and not even
make the playoffs. As it turned
out, they won two of their last
three games, then lost a game to
the Boston Red Sox and were
eliminated after all.
We then got to the serious
topics of the day. As you might
suspect, the two expenditure
bills up before Congress, getting
the COVID-19 booster shots
and mask-wearing were also
explored. Some of the other
topics that you might have heard
discussed were the prices of our
apartments, who knew how to
be picked up by Uber, and was
dental powder still available?
Last week on a radio show, I
was listening to the host ask peo-ple
to call in and name the most
famous person they had ever
spoken to. I thought it made for
interesting listening so I decid-ed
that I would pose the same
question to the men in the club.
I was certain that some of the
names might be Queen Elizabeth,
Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin
or possibly the Pope. Always
trying to bring some humor to
the table, I told the men that a
few years ago I had been in a
Manhattan restaurant and met
General Tso, the creator of the
Hunan dish that is named after
him. No one thought that it was
funny (General Tso died in 1885).
Harold Hershman told us that
he had once met Herb Kelleher.
For those of you who might
not know, Herb Kelleher is the
president of Southwest Airlines.
I asked Harold If I could change
the names to Howard Hughes
and Hughes Aviation. He nixed
the idea. Al Sprung told us of a
telephone conversation that he
had with George McGovern in
regard to his company doing poll-ing
for him in his 1972 presiden-tial
campaign. As it turned out,
neither one of them got the job.
Yale Kessler spoke to Harold
Stassen, a perennial presidential
candidate from 1940 to 1980.
Stassen is not too well known
today. Yale’s meeting with Henny
Youngman on a Pennsylvania
Railroad car while going to classes
at the University of Pennsylvania
might be of more interest us. John
Rondinelli had encounters with
two celebrities who he met at the
same time: Fred Waring and of
all people, Phil Rizzuto. Some
of us might not know who Fred
Waring was but John remembers
him being much taller than Phil.
Jack Sevita not only remembers
Nazi hunter Simon Wiesenthal
but had the honor of working
alongside him for many years.
Okay, it’s true that none of
us know Lady Gaga, but come
on down anyway. You’re sure to
have a good time.
November 2021 ¢ NORTH SHORE TOWERS COURIER 23