A Phantom Woman Reappears
In honor of Mother’s Day on Sunday, May 12, it’s fitting that we
share this true story from NST resident Marilyn Goldberg. Marilyn
has written a book entitled “My Memoir,” which recounts her early
years in Brooklyn up to the present day and her life here at the Towers.
Following is an excerpt from the book. Enjoy! ~ Editor
BY MARILYN GOLDBERG
January 2012 - My mother told
me that she came to this country
from Austria when she was
two. She also said that her mother
had died in childbirth. I never
knew if it was with a third child or
with my mother. Her brother Jack
was two years older than she was.
It wasn’t until I was about thirteen
that I learned this and that
my dear Grandma Bessie was my
mother’s stepmother. The family
was so close and intertwined that
the thought of a stepmother never
even occurred to me. No one ever
spoke about those earlier years. My
mother never mentioned her birth
mother or the trip from Europe. It
was as if that never happened.
Our close friend and neighbor
in Brooklyn, Michael Marcus,
was very involved in genealogy. A
few years ago I went with him to
the Archives in lower Manhattan
and with his guidance was able to
find the name of my grandfather,
Nuchim Messing, on a manifest of
a ship, the Kronsberg. It left from
Antwerp, Belgium and arrived in
NYC in March 1902. The strange
thing was that he was listed alone,
not with a family. My mother born
in 1899 would have been two and a
half then. Michael suggested that if
Nuchim’s wife had died in Europe
he might have paid a family to take
care of the two children during the
crossing and they would be listed
with that family. I always thought
I would go back to the Archives
and look through the entire ship’s
manifest. But I never did.
Some weeks ago Michael asked
me again about my family. He began
to research the Messing name on
websites that he belongs to. He
came up with other Messings who
were unknown to me. But then he
told me about a Chani Messing
who arrived in New York on June
28, 1903, with 2 children, Yankel,
which translates in English to
Jacob or Jack and Sprinza. Sprinza
was my mother’s Jewish name.
They were met in New York by
Nuchim, the husband and father,
my grandfather. I was overwhelmed
when I heard this. Now this woman
who was never spoken of was real.
Michael investigated further and
found Annie’s (Chani) death certificate
in 1905. She died at New York
Hospital on March 3 after spending
two days there. Most of the writing
on the certificate was difficult to
read but one of the causes of death
listed was cardiac endocarditis. Did
Chani have a heart condition? Was
she really pregnant? The poor
woman was here less than two
years when she died. She is buried
at Mt. Zion Cemetery in Maspeth,
Queens.
It was soon after that that
Nuchim married Bessie and in
the next few years they had two
daughters. This was the family I
knew about. Unhappily, Nuchim,
a young man, died in 1913 of influenza.
Now Bessie was the family
head. She was a feisty, energetic,
tiny, business- oriented woman.
She was a superb mother to all four
children and never wanted anyone
to know that the two older ones
were her stepchildren. They were
an intact, close family.
But now that I know that my
mother’s birth mother was in
America and I know where she is
buried. I will visit her grave and
welcome her back into the family.
June 2012 - Irving and I went to
Mt Zion Cemetery. We went to the
office to find the gravesite. Annie
was not listed in the computer. I
showed the woman the paper with
Michael’s notes. He had written
Bolechower Society “Oh”, she said
and went into a large closet and
brought out an old, yellowed scroll.
There she found Annie’s gravesite.
With directions in hand we drove
to the proper section. This cemetery
is so old and crowded. There
are few new gravestones. Most are
tall, ornate, and dark from the early
1900’s. To walk down many of the
rows it is necessary to walk on the
graves themselves. There is no room
between the rows. Every inch of
space has been used.
Although the woman had given
us detailed directions of where to
Jennie Messing, 1903. Photo courtesy of Marilyn Goldberg
look we couldn’t find the spot. Irv
and I separated and we each kept
looking. After a half hour and much
frustration I cell phoned him. He
was looking for me, he had found
the grave.
Surrounded by taller, more elaborate
stones there was Annie’s grave.
The stone was pure white, 3 feet
tall, about four inches thick, not
marble. There had been some writing,
I presume in Hebrew, on the
upper ¾ of the slab but after all this
time it was obliterated. Near the
bottom we could make out
Annie Messing
Died March 3, 1905
Age 29 years
I took some pictures. But the
writing was so light I thought that
if I wet the letters they would show
up more distinctly and they would
photograph better. Irv went to get
more water in our water bottle.
By the time he came back the sun
had shifted and we could not make
out any writing at all. What frustration!!
We also realized that the
gardening crew had very recently
been in this area cutting the weeds
which had been quite tall. If we
had come before that happened
we might not have found the grave
at all. And if we had come a half
an hour later that morning we
would not have been able to see
the name and would have missed
the gravesite.
Annie died in 1905. Nuchim died
in 1913. Who knows if he ever came
to the cemetery? He had a new wife
and four young children. But even if
he had I doubt if anyone else visited
in 99 years. That is a bit daunting.
But now Annie was not forgotten
and I am very overjoyed that she
was found.
Her name has lived on in the
family. Bessie’s second daughter
was named Anne. Now that was
very thoughtful and generous of
Bessie to name her daughter after
Nuchim’s first wife. Mimi (Anne
Miriam) Bergman, my cousin,
Deborah Ann Weiner, my niece,
and my daughter, Ellen, all have
her name, Chana.
May 2019 ¢ NORTH SHORE TOWERS COURIER 13