In Praise of Gratitude
BY DR. NURIT ISRAELI
For each new morning
with its light,
For rest and shelter
of the night,
For health and food,
for love and friends,
For everything
Thy goodness sends.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson Thanksgiving Day is approaching.
I am looking
out the window of our
apartment, reveling in the
Manhattan skyline and in the
trees still hanging on to their
green leaves, taking time to tap
into gratitude. Although things
don’t always run smoothly, although
there are hardships and
disappointments, misfortunes
and losses, there is much to be
grateful for. And even though
tapping into gratitude is harder
when the world isn’t on its
best behavior, I take comfort in
counting blessings.
Before anything else, I
remember with deep gratitude
that much of what I do have
now—all that IS good—was
once what I hoped for, strived
for and dreamt about…
This year, I am particularly
grateful for new beginnings—
even late in life, for the option
to start anew, for storms which
pass, for storms which teach,
for the ebb and the flow.
I am deeply grateful for the
gift of time, for love, for family,
for friends—old and new—for
fellow travelers on the path, for
opportunities to both extend and
accept kindness, for the depth and
potency of human ties.
I am grateful for the body’s
and spirit’s capacity to heal, for
scars’ capacity to fade, for the
power to make our way out of
dark rooms, for the ways crises
prompt us to reevaluate what is
really important.
I am thankful for having chosen
psychology as my profession, for
the many years of having been privileged
to bear witness to the human
ability to overcome, to restore, to
profoundly change.
I am grateful for books, for
poetry, for art, for opportunities to
learn and grow.
I am thankful for memories (so
vivid…), for dreams (yes, still…), for
hopes (even so…), for moments of
joy, for the wonders of nature, for
the seasons (all four…).
An encounter with a homeless
man in NYC became a learning
experience. It was an extremely
hot summer day, with the temperature
above 90 degrees. I went out
mid-day with cooling wipes and
purchased some bottles of cold
water, sandwiches and hats from
local street vendors. I distributed
it all to the homeless people living
amongst their belongings by a
Photo courtesy of Dr. Nurit Israeli
church on the street across from
our Manhattan apartment. Their
ardent gratitude for such a small
gesture touched me.
My encounter with one of them
is particularly memorable. He was
older, with deep blue eyes which
lit up when I approached him. He
chose an egg-on-roll sandwich,
reportedly his favorite, a bottle
of Evian water and a denim cap.
“You made my day, lady… My heart
thanks you… God bless you…” he
said to me, his smile exuding genuine
warmth.
I felt, if his wholehearted “God
bless you” wishes were going to
materialize, I will be wrapped up in
blessings…
It was a small act. I’m fully aware
I didn’t come closer to resolving
either the man’s problems or the
broader problem of homelessness.
But the opportunity to
reach out in a caring way, do
something—anything—to make
another person’s day even just
a bit more pleasant and to get a
warm response back, filled me
with gratitude. We all need each
other in one way or another. I
know how grateful I feel for
support offered when I need
it, and I’m similarly grateful for
opportunities to extend support
when I can.
Psychological studies consistently
find an association
between gratitude and well-being.
Developing an attitude of
gratitude, making it a habit to
acknowledge and be thankful
for all that IS good in one’s
life, requires a conscious effort.
Sometimes, a life review helps:
retrieving good memories and
being grateful for past blessings.
A powerful example is the gratitude
letter penned by the late
Senator John McCain just before
his death: “I am the luckiest person
on earth. I feel that way even
now as I prepare for the end of
life. I have loved my life, all of
it… and I am thankful.”
It is important to remember
gratitude does not negate
acknowledging hardships and
grieving losses. Grieving and
gratitude may exist side-by-side.
The darkness may make the light
all the brighter. In the words of
one of my favorite poets, Pablo
Neruda:
We need to sit on the rim
of the well of darkness
and fish for fallen light
with patience.
Yes: fish for the light…
Celebrating life, seizing the day,
is a form of gratitude. All in all, life
itself is a wonderful gift—so rich
in pattern and color. Paying it forward—
sharing our resources any
way we can—is yet another form.
May we all take time to reflect
on our blessings (yes, in spite
of…) and may we find meaning
in gratitude.
24 NORTH SHORE TOWERS COURIER ¢ November 2018