THAT’S A JEWISH
LULLABY…(*Tsuris i…s a Yiddish .word which means problems or troubles.)
“Tsoo Ra Tsoo Ra Tsoo Ra,
Tsoo Ra Loo Ra Lai, Tsoo Ra
Tsoo Ra Loo Ra, hush now don’t
you cry………… that’s a Jewish
lullaby.” (With apologies to Bing
I Crosby) went to a Jewish film festival
recently and saw a heartwarming
film called “The
Last Suit.” The main character
had a problem with his right leg. It
bothered him so much and for so
long that he gave the leg a special
name, “Tsuris.” He said he never
felt alone because he had “Tsuris”
with him wherever he went. I
thought it was a hilarious concept
- not to feel alone because of the
personal problems you carry along
with you, and to feel so close that
you give each one a name.
I remember comedienne Joan
Rivers once told the story of how
she was rapidly losing her hair. At
one point she had so few left that
she gave each strand a name and
then whenever one fell out, she sat
“shiva” for it. I guess there’s a lot
that can be said about being on
intimate terms with your problems
and how after a while they become
part of your everyday life.
For those of us who have chronic
medical issues this can’t be
fun. I can only use myself as an
example because I live in my skin
not yours. Sometimes I feel like a
monster has possessed my body. Not
Frankenstein, but Gloriastein.….I
can’t do what I used to, roller skating,
sky diving, climbing mountains,
deep sea diving, etc. What,
you don’t believe me? Now I try to
focus on what I can still do despite
my “tsuris”…. walk to the fridge 25
times a day, go for the mail, chew caramel
candy, order take-out food, etc.
Walking, chewing and using a phone
are a mixture of physical therapy and
occupational therapy. How can that
hurt? It’s not always easy.
My zeal for life enables me to
find creative ways to move forward.
There are always a few options
available. I have discovered that
you can sit home and kvetch to
yourself or you can get together
with friends and have a kvetching
session. Depending on how many
things you kvetch about, I’d say
limit each session to one or two
kvetches and maybe form another
group for your other kvetches. It’s
easier if each group is kvetching
about the same thing--then you
will be able to form a common
bond. If you want a name for these
sessions you might call them “The
Kvetch-I-Kans.”
Getting back to the word
“tsuris”…. Is that the plural form
and if so, is the singular form tsura
or tsuri? Could it sometimes be
used as a verb, a noun or a proper
noun? How can you use it in a
sentence properly? Is there
a Yiddish grammarian out
there? For those of us who
think “tsuris” is the plural and
only use that word form all
the time, it’s because many
of us never have a single
problem and we have become
used to dealing with more than
one “tsuris” at a time. Some people
call that multi-tasking. I call it “Oy
vey.” Let me be more definitive in
describing the differences between
the singular and plural of “tsuris.”
A good example might be if you go
into a public bathroom and there’s
no toilet paper in your stall, that’s
a singular “tsura” and I guess the
plural “tsuris” can be used when
there’s no toilet paper in any of the
stalls and you’re out of tissues.
Is there a feminine form vs a male
form? Depends on who’s kvetching?
I have a toe that’s bothering
me lately. It’s become my personal
“tsura,” but because she’s so small,
I’m going to call her “tsurala.” One
of her bigger relatives is my knee
on the same leg. A pain is traveling
from a sciatic nerve down my right
“cheek” into my knee. There’s no
personalization of “tsura” for the
naming of this pain! You’ll have to
forgive me but I just call it a “pain
in the “a--.”
You can make a “tsura” into a
mountain, or if you are so inclined
make it into a molehill. What you
do is up to you. We have all faced
major or minor “tsuris.” It really is
part of living and probably has been
for millions of years.
If you think about it, seeking
solutions to some of our greatest
“tsuris” improved our lives. They
eventually led to innovations in
medicine, travel, communication,
food, etc., and today we now live
longer and better. People got tired
of yelling out of their windows to
their friends and neighbors, so the
telephone was invented. Did they
have robocalls then? People got
tired of waiting for their potatoes
to bake, so the microwave was
invented. If birds could fly so could
man, so a plane was invented.
Did they have long lines at the
airports then? Callouses on your
hands and ruining your manicure
stopped the rowing of boats and
led to their motorization. People
got tired of chewing plants for
medicine, which led to pills which
are now too big to swallow. Come
to think of it, plants may be coming
back. Cannabis anyone? The
undesired top floor of a walk-up is
now called a penthouse because of
the invention of the elevator. It has
been said that George Washington
hated his wooden teeth…or were
they pieces of ivory that were
hammered into his gums? So now
we have modern implants. Does
today’s process feel the same as
it did years ago? The moral to all
of this is if you complain enough,
sometimes things get better, but
there are no guarantees.
I have discovered many of our
great poets and wits have acknowledged
the importance of having a
“tsura” or two. Their comments
allow us to appreciate the value
of times when we are “tsura-free.”
There were thousands to read but
I dedicated my usual 18 seconds
of research and selected ten quotes
that had the most resonance with
me and hope they do the same for
you. (Forgive me but I took the
liberty of changing only one word
in each quote so that it might lend
more meaning to our story.)
1. Happiness comes when
we stop complaining about the
“tsuris” we have and offer thanks
for all the “tsuris” we don’t have.
– Anonymous
2. Worrying does not empty
tomorrow of its “tsuris.” It empties
today of its strength. - Corrie
Ten Boom
3. When a friend has “tsuris,”
don’t annoy him by asking if
there is anything you can do.
Think up something appropriate
and do it. - Edward H. Howe
4 Real friendship is shown in
times of “tsuris;” prosperity is full
of friends. - Euripides
5.The “tsura” with some women
is that they get all excited about
nothing and then they marry him.
- Cher
6. We cannot solve our “tsuris”
with the same thinking we used
when we created them. - Albert
Einstein
7. It takes only one drink to
make me drunk. The “tsura” is I
can’t remember if it’s the 13th or
14th. – George Burns
8. If you don’t know about pain
or “tsuris” you’re in sad shape. They
make you appreciate life. - Evel
Knievel
9. If I had my life to live over I
would have more actual “tsuris”
but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.
- Don Herold
10. “Tsuris” is the next best thing
to enjoyment. There is no fate in
the world so horrible as to have no
share in either its joys or sorrows.
- H.W. Longfellow
Finally, I quote poet Robert Frost
and his philosophy about living:
“In three words I can sum up
what I’ve learned about life…it
goes on.” (With or without “tsuris”)
28 NORTH SHORE TOWERS COURIER ¢ October 2019