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North Shore Towers Courier n October 2016 37 Love Them When They Are Most Unlovable Middle school students have always provided a major challenge for my administrators and staff. These young people have the juices of life flowing hysterically through their circulatory system. The calm they possessed in elementary school has been suddenly replaced by constant anxiety and an overreaction to everyday life and family experiences. The need for acceptance by family members has been replaced by a constant need to please friends. The opinions of members of the opposite sex have become a mind-altering concern and seemingly the highest priority in life. This summer, 5th or 6th graders will be nervously anticipating, going from the security of a school they attended for many years, to a vast unknown building and becoming the youngest kids in a middle/ junior high school. They have many questions about the strange students from other elementary schools and pray that their present friends will be in some of their middle school classes. What’s worse is the undeniable fact that their parents are even more anxious than they are about the transition to the middle school. I’m looking forward to going to the middle school. I’m excited and a little nervous, Somehow all the kids seem to like it but they love telling horror stories about what goes on there. My parents are the ones that are really nervous. If they ask me once more if I’m scared, I think they’ll convince me that I am! As we moved toward the new school year, their anxiety level will only increase. Hopefully, their middle school orientation program would be helpful. It will never eliminate the fear factor about attending a new school, but it should certainly reduce their concerns and afford them the opportunity to look forward to what the middle school has to offer. This transition is as difficult as the first day of kindergarten. In reading the following poems, the necessity for a comprehensive orientation program should become self-evident. I was such a big shot in elementary school Now I graduated and I’m going to the junior high. I’m worried. I don’t know any of the kids from the other schools. It’s such a BIG building! I’m nobody again. I don’t know if I should wish for the summer to end, Or pray for it to go on forever. Instead of one room a day I now have nine. If I couldn’t please one teacher, How can I satisfy them all? I can’t even find my room. I’m lost! My God, I finally found my room but I DON’T KNOW WHICH SEAT IS MINE! A comprehensive orientation program is necessary and should include several of the following components: A May orientation meeting hosted by the middle school counselors and administrators at every elementary school for the parents and children who are moving up to the middles school. Middle school counselors visit every elementary graduating class to describe the middle school program and activities and answer all students’ questions. Middle school counselors meet with 5th or 6th grade teachers to discuss individual student needs. Elementary school students visit the middle school and follow the schedule of a host middle school student. Before returning to their elementary school they attend an assembly program to learn about the school’s programs and extra curricular programs. The middle school staff hosts an evening meeting for parents and their children. After the program they are given the opportunity to take a guided tour of the entire middle school. Even anticipating and answering all questions and concerns of elementary school students and parents, the forthcoming middle school experience will continue to contribute to an uneasy summer. Parents should attempt to be supportive and hopefully not add their concerns to those of their anxious children. By BOB RICKEN Perhaps the words of one of my eighth grade graduates capture the full value of the middle school experience. Her poem brought pride to my teachers, confidence to my students, and understanding to our parents. You taught be how to sail, through space upon a comet’s tail. You taught me how to fly, to sail the skies on wings untried. You taught me how to soar, to see things never seen before. But most important of all, you taught me how to fall! You taught me how to cry, to release feelings deep inside. You taught me how to laugh, and travel off the beaten path. You taught me how to dream, to face the future sight unseen. You taught me how to be, The only thing I can be, ME. Bob Ricken is a Senior Adjunct Professor at LIU C.W. Post’s Department of Educational Leadership and Administration and a retired school superintendent. He is the author of, “Love Me When I’m Most Unlovable: The Middle School Years.”


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