LASTING LESSONS: LEARNING
ABOUT OURSELVES FROM COVID-19
BY: DR. NURIT ISRAELI
“Sometimes it takes darkness and the
sweet confinement of your aloneness to
learn...”
– David Whyte, The House of Belonging
There is no avoiding it: even though
we are all eager for it to go away, the
pandemic is still here, dominating
our lives in so many ways. If we view our
lives as stories with distinct chapters, the
current chapter is not one we would have
expected to live through. Regardless, it
is here, full force – a burden, but also a
unique opportunity to learn. Through
hardships, we often learn great lessons
about the ways of the world, about our fel-low
humans, and mostly – about ourselves.
What have you learned (or relearned)
during this uncertain and unusual time
that may help you move forward? Before
writing this, I posed this question to friends,
colleagues, and patients. In my own per-sonal
practice of self-inquiry, I check in
regularly with myself: What have I learned
(or relearned)? What have I known but now
know better? What lessons will stay with
me, affecting the post-pandemic chapters
of my narrative?
To begin with, this pandemic has been a
most powerful reminder of the (regrettable)
reality astutely summarized by the Yiddish
adage: “Mann tracht, un Gott lacht,” which
translates to “Man plans, and God laughs.”
I am a careful planner, though I know by
now how unpredictable life can be. Still,
this unforeseen disaster has been particular-ly
difficult to accept: A tiny virus managed
to outnumber us, lock down most of us at
home globally, force us to behave in ways we
have never experienced before. A few days
ago, while walking outdoors, I saw people
sitting in small groups, all appropriately
masked and gloved, presenting the latest
‘bandit-chic fashion’, and I thought: This is
how we all see each other these days, often
not recognizing our masked friends, at times
finding it hard to recognize ourselves. Such
a bizarre reality! How can we rise above it?
How can we hold on to our pre-pandemic
dreams? I remembered the advice Rudyard
Kipling gave his son (and his readers) in his
beautiful poem If– on how one should try
to rise above any adversity thrown one’s
way:
“If you can dream–and not make
dreams your
Master;”
“If you can meet with triumph and
disaster
And treat those two impostors just the
same;”
“If you can fill the unforgiving
minute
With sixty seconds’ worth
of distance run –
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s
in it,
And–which is more–you’ll be a Man,
my son!”
Several responders to my question
regarding the lessons learned during this
pandemic focused on acceptance, stating
they have learned to be more accepting of
all that cannot be changed: life’s inherent
unpredictability, unprecedented challenges,
and our limited control. Acceptance, a skill
that can be harnessed, includes coming to
terms with the reality that suffering is dis-tributed
randomly. Why do some people
contact the virus even though they took all
the necessary precautions? Why do some
people become gravely ill and others have
no symptoms whatsoever? Why do some
die, yet others survive? I am still learning
to accept life’s inscrutability: learning to
live with the questions, and as a very close
friend who passed away during this pan-demic
kept on telling me to his very end:
20 NORTH SHORE TOWERS COURIER ¢ September 2020