BY DR. NURIT ISRAELI
“Piglet noticed that even though
he had a Very Small Heart, it
could hold a rather large amount
of Gratitude.” - A. A. Milne
Although we don’t need to wait
until Thanksgiving to reap the
benefits to our well-being that an
attitude of thankfulness promotes,
this time of year prompts reflections
on gratitude.
We can each ask ourselves:
How am I fortunate? What am
I grateful for? Who am I grateful
for? What assets wouldn’t I give up
for anything? What relationships?
What abilities? What opportunities?
Which experiences should I
give thanks for? What about my
surroundings makes me grateful?
Which challenges have I faced that
helped me grow? What thoughtful
things have others done for
me? What insights have I gained
that I truly appreciate? What
has happened since last year’s
Thanksgiving that most deserves
my gratitude? How do I “give
thanks”?
Our perspective depends on
where we direct our lens. Selecting
a lens of gratitude may initially feel
arduous. But making a deliberate
choice to zoom in on what we
have, rather than linger on what
we are missing, is beneficial.
In a series of famous studies on
the effects of a grateful outlook
on psychological and physical
well-being (with findings which
have been replicated in many
subsequent studies), psychologists
Robert Emmons and Michael
McCullough demonstrated that a
conscious focus on blessings has
clear emotional and interpersonal
benefits. A main strategy they used
was to ask study participants to
keep daily or weekly lists of at least
5 things – big or small – for which
they felt grateful. For years, I have
used different versions of gratitude
lists, personally and in my work
with patients. For better balance, I
often include the other side of the
coin, creating two lists: Blessings
and Burdens.
Like light and darkness, blessings
and burdens exist side-by-side,
neither one negating the other.
Gratitude for blessings does not
mean we have all that we want to
be blessed with. Identifying blessings,
despite burdens, is a skill
that can be learned and should be
practiced. The more we focus on
gratitude, the better benefit-finders
we become. And blessings are
not only positives. The ability to
accept imperfections, failures, and
mistakes is, in itself, a blessing.
Also, blessings are not limited to
what is happening to us in the
here-and-now. When we review
our lives, blessings can be retrieved
from good memories, especially in
life cycle phases where the future
becomes shorter than the past.
And, yes, Cicero was right:
“Gratitude is not only the greatest
of virtues, but the parent of
all others.”
What am I grateful for now, as
2019 is drawing towards its close?
I am grateful for the gift of time:
for each day of good (enough)
health, for every “normal” (enough)
day and what it brings. When I was
in the hospital, recovering from
surgery, I recall looking through
a window, seeing people walking
outside, going about their everyday
activities. I remember pondering
how precious ordinary days are.
Not perfect days, just ordinary
ones. I vowed to never take normalcy
for granted but, instead,
welcome each new day with the
sense of wonderment expressed
by Maya Angelou:
“This is a wonderful day, I have
never seen this one before.”
I am thankful for discovering
the magic of small pleasures, for
learning to live deeper rather than
wider. I am grateful for memories.
I have learned to see life not as
something that gets used up, but
rather as an accumulation of experiences.
With every passing year,
we have more life than we had the
year before. My father, as he got
older, used to say: “The principal
is already in my pocket, I am now
living on the interest.” Now I can
say it too: the principal is already
in my pocket. But (unlike in unstable
financial markets), I continue
to enjoy high interests…
I am grateful for love.
Relationships have always been
central to me, and nothing comes
close in comparison. I am grateful
for the expansion of my family – a
sturdy chain that continues, for
opportunities to see my children
evolve and my grandchildren grow,
for the power of friendships, for
the depth and meaningfulness of
human bonds.
A few years ago, my youngest
grandson, Daniel, six years old at
the time, wished me three things
for my birthday (I found this memory
on an old gratitude list):
1. “That you will not be hurt.”
2. “That no one will be mean to
you.” 3. “That you will get rich, so
you can buy me lots of presents.”
Well, I promised Daniel to buy him
presents, even if I didn’t get rich.
But I am grateful that his first two
wishes came true (more or less…).
I am grateful for our foresighted
decision to move to North Shore
Towers – for the graceful, interesting,
and pleasant life this place
provides, for the special people
that have become part of my life.
I am grateful for living in a part
COUNT I N G
BLESSINGS
20 NORTH SHORE TOWERS COURIER ¢ November 2019