In the past, I occasionally felt
like a million dollars until my
feet hit the floor; then I felt
more like a $1.99. How did I learn
to improve my life? Well…
Sometimes the lessons we learn
about life come too late. I don’t
give up when I’m determined to do
something. So, I went on a mission
and I’m about to tell you the secret
to my success. I’ve been told I’m a
good sharer, so I’m going to share
some highlights I’ve learned about
life either by doing them or hearing
about them and maybe they’ll be
useful to you. Remember, one size
doesn’t fit all so you decide which
lesson suits you best.
1. “Never take a sleeping pill and
laxative on the same night.” Do I
need to explain why? Or maybe try
it and let me know what happens
in the end.
2. “Life is short. Smile while you
still have teeth.” I won’t say I look
bad, but let me tell you I could pose
for some Halloween masks.
3. “I don’t really like to think
before I speak. It’s much more
fun to be just as surprised as
everyone else about what comes
out of my mouth.” I do it all the
time. Sometimes I wonder, who is
that other person who lives inside
of me?
4. “You can live life without sex,
but not your glasses.” Put those
glasses on anyway. You never know
when you’ll mistakenly walk into
the wrong apartment.
5. Unfortunately, from recent
experience I’ve learned, “Old is
when your doctor doesn’t give you
an X-ray anymore, but just holds
you up to the light.” At least I don’t
look wrinkled.
6. When I’m tired, I’ve learned
“Instead of cleaning the house, just
turn off the lights.” Really! If you
don’t have breathing problems, you
could just blow the dust away.
7. When someone says, “Age is
only a number, weight is only a
number, etc..” I’ve decided numbers
are really starting to piss me off!”
8. “Sometimes I panic and think
there’s a crazy person in my apartment.
Then I realize it’s just
me.” I don’t worry, because
I feel it happens to many
of us and a nice glass
of merlot or a delicious
piece of cheesecake
really tone everything
down. (Please don’t
ask me how
I know
this information!)
9. I’ve also
learned (in
theory), “a
happy book club is
a book club which
only reads the wine
labels on the bottles
they’re drinking from.”
(Don’t ask me how I
know this either!)
10. “Some days the supply of
available swear words is insufficient
to meet my demands.” I’m thinking
of starting a multi-language swear
word club!
11. “Avoid things which make
me look fat… like scales, mirrors
and photographs.” I don’t have any
of these things in my home. Why do
you think I’m always happy? (Aside
from the merlot and cheesecake.)
12. “You know you’re getting old
when everything either dries up or
leaks.”
13. This must be the reason why
when some seniors are about to get
married. They register at the nearest
pharmacy. For me I would probably
register at the nearest bakery
or Chico’s. My two greatest
loves. (For now!)
14. As a senior I’m not
comfortable with being told
what to do, and I like my
privacy, so when “I’m
driving, I sometimes
want to resist using
the turn signal. It’s
nobody’s business
where I’m
going.” My
advice: You
might want to
skip this one.
Although I don’t
really do this, I see people
doing it all the time.
15. “I’ve learned to
live in my own little world. But it’s
okay—they know me there.” (It’s a
lot of fun when you’re the master
of your own universe.)
16. Sometimes I think, “I would
be unstoppable, if only I could get
started…” Oy vey! Lately, it’s been
happening too often.
17. Everyone says “Swimming is
a very healthy activity and helps
keep your figure in check.” If swimming
is so good for your figure, how
do you explain whales?
18. “When you get a headache,
take two aspirins and keep away
from your children. Just like it says
on the bottle.” This really works!
19. “I’ve found an easy solution
to sagging. Just eat until the wrinkles
fill out.” That’s just what I’ve
been doing. I’ve been trying to
explain this theory to my doctors
and how good this is for my mental
health—eating (which I love) and
getting rid of wrinkles (which I’m
trying to do). Do you think they
believe me? I know you do.
Well my friends, I’m sure there
must be one or two pieces of information
I’ve shared with you which
will work just fine, if you try them.
Time is a treasured commodity we
all have in common. What we don’t
have in common is what we do with
it. My suggestion is no matter what
you do, use it wisely and it will reap
bountiful benefits.
Keep happy. Keep healthy. Keep
smiling.
LIFE’S LESSONS
USMMA at Kings Point
2019
April BY JUNE ROCHEDIEU
Goddess of the Sea Fountain.
¢Library with rotating globe
COURIER One of the best kept secrets is
• Wiley Hall
out. This beautiful museum
• Rotating Chapel, offering separate
is located on the grounds of
alters for most major
the United States Merchant Marine
religions
TOWERS Academy (USMMA) and open to
• O’Hara Hall (Entrance features
the public. Its motto is “Acta Non
two carved stone Eagles, original
Verba (Deeds not words)” and you
to NYC’s Penn Station)
can visit this hidden gem Tuesday–
The USMMA is located at
SHORE Thursday (Free exhibit and Tour).
300 Steamboat Rd, Kings Point,
The museum sits on 82 waterfront
NY 11024
acres and resides on the former
It’s open Tuesday to Friday, 10
NORTH estate of automobile magnate
sculptures, stained glass, artifacts
grounds, as well as the museum.
a.m.–3 p.m.
Walter P. Chrysler. It’s filled with
photos and memorabilia. When
Other buildings available to see
For more information, call 516-
an extensive display of small and
the weather warms up, schedule
on a scheduled walking tour:
773-5374 or go to www.usmma.
26 large model ships, oil paintings,
a tour of the beautiful landscaped
• Amphitrite Pool and
edu/museu
/www.usmma
/www.usmma
