ELDER LAW ROnald Fatoullah, ESQ, CELA* 36 North Shore Towers Courier n April 2013 The Elder Law Minute™ Challenging Decisions for Families THE ART OF ESTATE PLANNING For more than 30 years, Ronald Fatoullah & Associates has been advising clients about the legal challenges of Aging and Special Needs. Our reputation is built on a commitment to the highest form of professional and ethical standards and core values, of honesty, integrity, and excellence. Our attorneys are accomplished in the areas of Elder Law, Estate Planning, Medicaid Law, Wealth Preservation, Probate, Preparation of Wills & Trusts, Veteran’s Planning, Guardianships and Planning for Same Sex Couples. Ronald Fatoullah & Associates is proud to be selected as a “Best Lawyer” in 2012, for our sixth consecutive year. 1-877- ELDER LAW 1-877-ESTATES Queens • Long Island • Manhattan • Brooklyn attorney advertising By Ronald A. Fatoullah, Esq. and Joy R. Rivera-Hampton, LMSW As individuals age, their needs may change, and their ability to make the best choices involving their safety and the safety of the people around them is altered. Can mom stay home or does she need a nursing home? What is the difference between a skilled nursing facility and supportive housing? The responsibility of this individual falls on children and well spouses. In order to determine the best plan of action, it can be complicated. Families often are entangled with emotions and are motivated by different beliefs. For example, if a male client is functioning fairly well and in relatively good health, but he demonstrates diminished capacity in his ability to drive safely, a question arises for the well spouse and the children. Should my husband or dad continue to drive? Is he a danger to himself and other drivers while on the road? The family dilemma lies with the children and the well spouse, sharing fundamentally varying expectations of how the issue should be handled. This presents an excellent occasion for an Elder Care Coordinator (ECC) to assist the children and well spouse in the navigation of caringly approaching their relative’s concerns and his or her interest in driving. The ECC will organize and implement a plan of action to sensitively address the family member’s decline. The ECC will convey that as we age, it’s normal for our driving abilities to change. Sometimes, by reducing risk factors and incorporating safe driving practices, many elders can continue to drive safely as seniors. However, the ECC will detail the importance of paying attention to warning signs that age is interfering with driving safety and assist the family and driver in making appropriate adjustments. The ECC helps to ease the transition, even if the driver needs to reduce driving or give up his or her keys. The ECC works diligently at communicating that the change does not mean the end of independence. The ECC will provide suggestions for best practices and guide the implementation of an agreed upon plan with the family. How to talk to a loved one about driving concerns and deal with a loved one who refuses to give up keys: A driver’s license signifies more than the ability to drive a car. It is a symbol of freedom and self- sufficiency. Understandably, driving is not a privilege that anyone wants to relinquish willingly, yet safety must come first. Another person’s concerns may force the senior driver to act. When talking to an older friend or family member about his or her driving, please remember to be respectful. However, don’t be intimidated or back down if you have a true concern. Provide specific examples because it is easier to tune out generalizations. Offer concrete assistance, such as researching transportation options. Don’t dismiss any feelings of loss that your loved one might experience. Sometimes an older driver has to be stopped from driving over their objections. It might be very difficult to make this call, especially if the senior is a parent or close friend. However, their safety and the safety of others must come first. An unsafe driver can seriously injure or kill himself or others. Our firm saw a client years ago that should have stopped driving but insisted on continuing to do so. Unfortunately, he hit 20 pedestrians on a busy New York City street. If rational discussion has not convinced the driver to hand over the car keys, then you can make an anonymous report to your state’s Department of Motor Vehicles or talk to the person’s physician about your concerns. In some cases, there is a need to take further action, such as taking away the keys, selling or disabling the car or enlisting the local police to explain the importance of safe driving and the legal implications of unsafe driving. Ronald A. Fatoullah, Esq. is the principal of Ronald Fatoullah & Associates, a law firm that exclusively concentrates in elder law, estate planning, Medicaid planning, guardianships, estate administration, trusts and wills. The firm has offices in Forest Hills, Great Neck, Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Cedarhurst, NY. This article was written with the assistance of Joy R. Rivera-Hampton, LMSW, Geriatric Care Manager/Elder Care Coordinator at the firm. Ronald Fatoullah & Associates can be reached by calling (718) 261-1700, 516-466-4422, or toll free at 1-877-ELDER-LAW or 1-877-ESTATES.
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