WWW.QNS.COM RIDGEWOOD TIMES AUGUST 30, 2018 29
COPING WITH DEATH
Can you ever fi nd closure after losing a loved one?
We hear people talking about
“closure” as if there is a door
that can be shut aft er experiencing
a tragedy in our lives, losing a
loved one or being witness to a horrifi c
event such as the terrorist attack on
the World Trade Center.
Friends might ask “Haven’t you
reached closure yet?”
Grief cannot be forced or pushed or
closed off from our minds.
There is no magic formula for working
through grief.
The fact of the matter is that grief
must be expressed and dealt with.
We all experience and react to loss in
diff erent ways depending on the relationship
of the deceased to us, our past
experiences with loss, and sometimes
even our health and emotional state.
Grieving for a lost loved one can
take years, sometimes a lifetime.
According to Curtis Rostad, a Certifi
ed Funeral Service Practitioner who
has been a licensed funeral director
since 1973, there is no such thing as
closure.
He maintains that those who refuse
to begin the journey through grief
simply delay their own recovery.
Rostad goes on to explain why he
thinks the concept of closure is mentioned
so oft en in today’s culture. “It
should come as little surprise that a
generation of people brought up with
minute rice, instant coff ee and microwave
ovens would search for quick relief
from something we call grief,” he says.
“We hear it from those who go to
the scene of a disaster where their
family member has died. We hear it
from those who witness the execution
of the person convicted of killing
their loved one. We hear it expressed
by those who have someone missing
in war.”
In Rostad’s long experience in
helping families deal with grief, he
has found that seeking closure only
produces feelings of frustration that
join the emotions of sorrow.
There is no closure, but there is a
point where people have a great deal
of acceptance, even peace of mind, and
are able to move on to a diff erent frame
of mind.
It’s a frame of mind that leaves them
supported by the memories, but empowered
to continue with their lives
knowing they did all they could do
with respect to the person they lost.
Why would anyone seek closure?
Why would anyone want to close the
door on thoughts about a departed
loved one?
Grief will soft en in the years aft er a
loss, but the door to memories should
always be open.
From the New York Funeral Directors
Association
For peace of mind, begin your pre-arrangement plans today.
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Serving our Catholic Community and Families for Generations
Cemetery Pre-Planning is Easy.
Affordable Payment Options Available.
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80-01 Metropolitan Avenue
Middle Village, NY 11379
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Now
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