16 MARCH 1, 2018 RIDGEWOOD TIMES WWW.QNS.COM
COPINHGE WAIDTIHN GDEATH
New etiquette for paying your respects
A century ago, most funerals took
place in the home.
Families lived close together
and were part of a tight-knit community,
making it possible for friends and
relatives to attend funeral ceremonies
and make personal visits to console
the bereaved.
Word-of-mouth was sufficient to
advise neighbors and friends that
someone had died.
Etiquette for those in mourning was
strict.
Custom dictated wearing black for
immediate family members, even
children, for lengthy periods following
the death.
Social activities were severely restricted
and condolence or thank-you
notes were written on black-bordered,
white stationery.
Over the years, funeral etiquette
evolved to keep pace with changing
lifestyles.
Today's funeral etiquette recognizes
the need to express grief and sympathy
but in a more individualistic and
practical way.
For instance, black is still most appropriate
for funerals, but grey, navy
blue and other subdued colors are also
acceptable.
Those in mourning go back to work
or resume social activities just days
aft er a funeral.
Today, families oft en write a short
message on a thank-you card provided
by the funeral director.
Communication features provided
by the Internet have made even more
dramatic changes in the ways we memorialize
loved ones and participate
in funeral ceremonies.
A funeral home in North Syracuse,
New York was the fi rst to broadcast
funerals live on the Internet to accommodate
shut-ins or distant relatives
who can't attend services in person.
Families give written permission
to have any portion of the funeral
service transmitted.
Proper etiquette dictates that we
treat grieving friends and family with
kindness, dignity and consideration.
Social and technological changes
just give us another way to memorialize
loved ones and offer our
condolences.
From the New York State Funeral
Directors Association