72 The Queens Courier • coping with death • september 1, 2016 for breaking news visit www.qns.com coping with death s How to cope after losing a spouse By Rana Huber It is always devastating when one loses a beloved spouse; becoming widowed presents many challenges to the bereaved. Grief is a normal reaction to the death of a spouse or loved one, but most of us are not prepared to deal with our grief. We are often frightened and upset by our reactions to the death and wonder if we will ever recover from this overwhelming emotion. Bereavement counselors caution that grief has no timetable but often takes longer than the bereaved or the people in their lives expect. Many counselors recommend asking for and accepting help from an expert in loss and bereavement issues if any of the following experiences are intense or continue for a long period of time: · • Are you always irritable, annoyed, intolerant or angry? • Do you experience an ongoing sense of numbness or the feeling of being isolated from your own self or from others? • Do you usually feel that you have no one to talk to about what happened? • Since your spouse died, are you often highly anxious about your own death or the death of someone you love? Is it beginning to interfere with your relationships, your ability to concentrate or live as you would like to live? • Do you feel that you are always or continually preoccupied with your loved one, his or her death, or certain aspects of it even though it’s been several months since their death? • Do you feel the need to be continually busy beyond what is normal for you? • Are you afraid of becoming close to new people, or even dating, for fear of losing again? • Do you find yourself acting in ways that might prove harmful to you over time: drinking more than you used to; using more prescription or non-prescription drugs; engaging in sexual activity that is unsafe or unwise; driving in a reckless or unsafe manner or entertaining serious thoughts about suicide? Beyond these signs, trust your own judgment. If you think that talking to a professional might help, there are many resources available to you. You can also ask your family funeral director for the name of a local bereavement counselor who can help you. For a list of funeral homes in your area, visit: www.nysfda.org, a website of the New York State Funeral Directors Association. If you have thoughts of suicide contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800- 273-TALK. In addition, the Hospice Care Network offers bereavement counseling and support sessions in Queens (718-939-CARE). Remember, be patient with yourself. People have a natural inclination to recover. But, if your grief is taking over your life, it is time to seek help. Full Memorial Services for Pets Since its founding in 1903, Bideawee has been committed to celebrating and respecting the relationship between pets and people in life and death. To honor that commitment, in 1916, the nonsectarian Pet Memorial Parks at Bideawee were established to provide an appropriate final resting place for deeply loved pets. For 100 years, the Pet Memorial Parks at Bideawee have been the final peaceful and dignified resting place for more than 65,000 pets. The beautiful, well-kept grounds at the Wantagh and Westhampton parks cover more than 20 acres that contribute a serene, peaceful environment to promote comfort and contemplation. The Pet Memorial Parks at Bideawee are sustained by an endowment which ensures their viability in perpetuity. Memorial services include transportation, private viewing rooms, burial and/or cremation, and the placing of seasonal greens and flowers on a pet’s grave. Pet Memorial Parks at Bideawee 3300 Beltagh Avenue, Wantagh, NY 11793 118 Old Country Road, Westhampton, NY 11977 lovepets.org • 1-844-LOVEPETS
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