coping with death s Helping children to deal with grief By Rana Huber We sympathize when we see someone experiencing grief caused by the death of a loved one, but there is something especially poignant about a child who grieves over the loss of a parent, grandparent, sibling, or even a beloved pet. When children experience the death of a loved one, they grieve just as adults do, but they may not be able to verbalize their sorrow. To compound this, many adults may not feel comfortable dealing with children’s sadness, especially when grieving themselves. They don’t know how to start the conversation, they don’t know what to say, and, especially, they are fearful of saying the wrong things. So what can you do? There are many wonderful books that can help. For example, in Helping Children Grieve, Theresa Huntley includes some basic suggestions excerpted here that will help adults who want to console a grieving child: Be aware of personal feelings. When we are in touch with our own feelings (sadness, loss, regret), we will be better able to help bereaved children deal with theirs. Recognize that each child’s level of understanding is different. Provide the children with information and responses appropriate for their age level. Recognize that each child will grieve differently. Encourage questions. Encourage the expression of feelings. Let children know that it is okay to show their emotions. Encourage participation in events following the death. Tell the children about the events that will be taking place (i.e., wake, funeral, burial). Give the children permission to choose the extent of their participation. Help a child to commemorate the life of the deceased. Try to maintain a sense of normalcy. To restore some semblance of security, try to follow the children’s normal routine as closely as possible. Also, the popular television show Sesame Street has many wonderful resources to help connect with a child who is mourning. Visit their website for details: www.sesamestreet.org/parents/topicsandactivities/ topics/grief. Children generally grieve in different ways than adults. As family and caregivers, we can recognize this and guide them with love through a difficult time. Ask your family funeral director for names of local bereavement counselors who can help. Compassionate Care for Four Generations Every funeral detail is handled according to each family’s personal and religious preferences. Specialists in FDIC Insured Pre-Plans Many Jewish families are turning to Sinai Chapels experienced counselors to establish a Pre-Plan. With a Sinai Pre-Plan, families are relieved of dealing with making arrangements at a difficult time. Sinai’s Pre-Plan counselors will meet with you at the Chapel, or in the comfort of your home. Sinai Chapels | 162-05 Horace Harding Expressway | Fresh Meadows, NY 11365 718.445.0300 | 800.446.0406 www.JewishFunerals.com We are here 24 hours to serve your family. 66 The Queens Courier • coping with death • september 1, 2016 for breaking news visit www.qns.com
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