in hot dogs may include parts you
and I don’t want to know about?
Pig snout anyone? Eww! Use your
imagination! Glad I’m kosher.
But what is a “gourmet” hot dog?
Does that mean the guy washes his
hands? Well, why shouldn’t he? He
knows what’s in them! Truthfully
I do love hot dogs, but I’m hoping
the brand I like is more prudent
in how they are made. I have to
tell you the offer of White Castle
hamburgers might have tempted
me more.
I truly enjoy all the conveniences
afforded me with the use of the
“new” phone. Now I can carry it
with me. Remember those long
phone cords we used to have? I
think I had a five hundred foot
cord but I still couldn’t take the
phone everywhere. If my memory
is correct, I think my dog once
bit into one of those cords and
electrocuted himself. Or was it
one of my kids? Not sure. These
days, I can make calls on my cell
phone from my doctor’s office, and
naturally start gabbing just as he
walks in to examine me. Does it
matter that I waited three hours
for him and now have to hang up
from my two hour shopping spree
with Amazon without filling up
my shopping cart? With this new
phone, my grandkids can call me
on FaceTime as I’m stepping out of
the shower. OMG. After that they
can still say, “I love you grandma?”
Yup! It must be true, love is
blind. I don’t enjoy the fact that
you can see my beautiful wrinkles
up really close if I don’t hold my
phone six feet away. Do you think
six feet was an original number
that came to mind when the CDC
was thinking of what a safe social
distance should be? It must have
been someone who said, “Oops,
the phone is too close. Too many
wrinkles. Six feet is better.” With
my phone I can also use Waze to
get me somewhere I really don’t
want to go much sooner, like getting
that colonoscopy.
Anther thing. You really must
get some skills together when
using this newest form of communication.
One time I learned
the hard way, which led to a most
embarrassing moment. Instead of
having the phone on silent while
chanting Kol Nidre, one of our
most significant prayers during the
Jewish holidays, my ringtone of
Tina Turner singing “What’s Love
Got to Do With It?” rang out for
all the congregation to hear. Many
an eyebrow was lifted. Was that
considered a sin I had to repent
for? My family thought so and I
think the Rabbi posted a picture
of me on the front door that said,
“No future admittance.” All this
for a wrong number?
We don’t have phones that have
to be cranked anymore. I imagine
that was a great arm exercise.
Everyone had Charles Atlas muscled
toned upper arms. We don’t
have rotary phones anymore. I
guess they ruined too many manicures.
We don’t have party lines
anymore. That was fun when you
were the listener, not when you
were the talker. You learned to
hold your breath or else people
would know you were listening.
That wasn’t too bad when you
think about it. My breathing
improved for underwater swimming!
But, oy, what I used to hear!
Do you know at one time we had
over 100,000 phone booths in New
York City? Now there’s barely
2,000. I loved phone books. They
were handy because in addition
to the information they provided,
they were great booster seats. You
can’t use a cell phone as a booster
seat. Today’s tots know what a cell
phone is and for sure they won’t sit
on one. Recently I saw a mom give
her child a cell phone to play with.
The kid was pushing every kind of
button and seemed to know what
to do. What was scary about the
whole thing was that the he wasn’t
even walking yet. I wonder how
much the kid would charge to
teach me some skills?
I’m sorry if I sound like I’m
kvetching. If I am, it helps fill in
the day. Trust me, like you, I enjoy
using this new-fangled contraption
and today no way does it resemble
our first taste of telecommunication
of so long ago. I am not
addicted to it yet, and I must tell
you, there are times I do love my
peace and quiet. I’m confident in
my solitude and so at times, I’m
confessing to you, I take my phone
off the hook and shut down my
cell and I become “The Happy (off
the) Hooker.
Take care. Stay well.
Love you,
Gloria
*In no way is this meant to replicate
the story “The Happy Hooker”
by Xavier Hollander. Awww.
Writing A Memoir During the Pandemic
BY ROBERTA GOULD, PHD
For many years I have always
wondered what my relatives’
lives were like when they were
younger. They are long gone
and now I am the oldest living
member that can tell my family
story. Since last March, most of
us have spent a lot of our time at
home afraid to be close to people
and hiding behind our masks. I
decided that this would be a good
time to write a memoir about my
life. I titled it “From Generation
To Generation.” I dedicated it
to my great grandchildren who I
probably will never meet because
none of my three granddaughters
have a steady boyfriend.
I started my memoir by describing what it has
been like living through the pandemic. I asked
my granddaughters if they would like to help
me and they were very excited about being a
part of this endeavor. During the summer, each
granddaughter met with me individually on my
terrace and we sat for many hours as I dictated
the stories of my past and they wrote it on the
computer. I had them pick a restaurant and I
ordered lunch. They also shared with me events
in their lives. To my surprise this precious time
that we had together to really bond became just
as meaningful to me as writing the memoir.
Starting with growing up in Brooklyn, I wrote
little vignettes of my experiences during each
period of my life. It gave me the wonderful
opportunity to relive this with my granddaughters.
They were fascinated by what it was like
to live then and asked questions.
It is now several months later
and we are proofreading the manuscript
together and picking out
photos to include in the memoir.
I am now in Florida while my
granddaughters are in New York
and we use FaceTime. This shows
that it can all be done remotely!
I have added one chapter for
my fourth granddaughter who
is no longer with us. She was
a gifted writer and she lives on
and participates with her words.
I end the memoir with a return
to the pandemic which is still
raging but also gives me the
opportunity to really experience
the concept of “from generation
to generation.”
I am now contacting a publishing firm that
will convert my memoir into a hardcover book,
a copy of which I will give to each member of
my family.
There are still many months left before the
pandemic will abate. If anyone is interested in
writing their own memoir and I can be of any
help, please contact me at gouldrl@msn.com.
Good luck and keep safe. ~ Bobby
February 2021 ¢ NORTH SHORE TOWERS COURIER 23
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