research findings: the ways we mentally frame
stressful events influence the ways we are affected
by them. When we manage to see stressful
events as “challenges,” with opportunities to
adapt and overcome, we tend to cope better
than when we focus exclusively on the ominous
aspects. Writing in the New York Times,
Leibowitz suggests that, during the pandemic,
we consciously focus on shifting our mindset:
try to appreciate winter in our thoughts, then
engage in pleasurable pursuits winter offers.
More generally, whenever possible, try to alter
our appraisal of a situation, reframe stressful
situations in more constructive ways, attempt
to view hardships as challenges rather than
as threats. After all, we do have some control
over our mindsets...
Norway has been one of my favorite travel
destinations. We traveled to Norway three
times and stayed once in the Arctic Circle
region. There, we were introduced to the
concept of Koselig – a Norwegian version of
Denmark’s Hygge. While Koselig cannot be
directly translated into English (or any other
language), it means a quality of coziness and
comfortable conviviality related to nature,
companionship, and simple Here-and-Now
pleasures that engender contentment and
personal well-being.
How can we embrace Koselig-esque elements
in the winter of 2021? Experience that desirable
feeling of well-being and contentment?
Make everyday moments special? Enjoy life’s
simple pleasures? Find an antidote to the stress
around us and within us? Unearth ways of
keeping warm mentally, despite the gray, cold,
dark days? This winter, let us savor the chance
to practice a little bit of Norwegian Koselig.
1. Find coziness in indoor activities: Curl up
with a good book or an enticing movie. Create
art. Enjoy the warm glow of candlelight even
during daytime. A fireplace is great (yes, even
electric...). Find the most comfortable seating
in your home to relax in (my stressless lounging
recliner, which happens to be Scandinavian, is
a perfect choice). Opt for soft pillows and fluffy
throw blankets. Choose hearty comfort food
(savory soups, a steaming mug of your favorite
tea, mulled wine or cider). Put on your favorite
music (relaxing tunes at low volume). Bring
in winter spices: cinnamon, cloves, ginger,
nutmeg, and cardamom that fill your home
with aromas. There's something gratifying
about sitting indoors, in a cozy room, while
the wind is howling and the weather outside
is at its worst...
2. Koselig emphasizes the importance of
exposure to nature, and research shows repeatedly
that spending time in nature reduces stress
and promotes physical and mental well-being.
Try braving the cold: take walks outdoors in
the brisk winter air then enjoy coming back
inside. Or, embrace the nature you can capture
through your windows or by venturing onto
your balcony: Watch the sun rise or set. Follow
the clouds as they unfold and change shapes
upon the sky canvas. Note the ways trees adapt
to the cold. And, one of my favorites, enjoy the
peaceful appearance of the outside world after
a snowfall. There is magic in walking on soft
snow that no one has walked on before. The
writer Lewis Carroll offers a beautiful personification
of snow that resonates: “I wonder
if the snow loves the trees and fields that it
kisses them so gently? And then it covers
them up snug, you know, with a white quilt;
and perhaps it says, ‘Go to sleep, darlings,
till the summer comes again.’”
Some of my best memories were created in
the world’s coldest zones, mainly the North
Cape and Patagonia. I will never forget the
sheer magic of Patagonia: the floating icebergs,
the roaring thunder of blue ice glaciers
gliding into the clearest of water, the virgin
landscapes that reminded me of the purity of
beginnings. But I also vividly recall the gusting
winds, the rough seas, the below-freezing temperatures.
I remember initially feeling shocked
by the low temperatures, then getting used
to the cold, learning to dress warmly headto
toe, and immersing myself in the beauty.
In Patagonia, I was told in advance that, to
appreciate the power of its amazing natural
sights, I would have to endure the cold. There,
I learned a winter walking meditation which
I have used since: Dress warmly and venture
outdoors. Turn your attention to a part of
your body that is warm – your hands in well
insulated gloves, your feet tucked in heavily
lined boots, your head covered with a fuzzy,
heavy-weight hat. Experience the warmth. Let
it spread. How does the warmth, which emanates
from within you, feel? Take a moment
to be grateful for it. Now look around. Let
yourself submerge into the beauty and peace
of the land – the vistas, the quiet, the vigor. Let
gratitude rise from within you for the special
gifts nature offers...
3. Koselig emphasizes the importance of
social connectedness. Winter drives us indoors.
Though the cold months present challenges,
find safe ways to enjoy the company of friends.
A good conversation is a great medicine – yes,
even via FaceTime or Zoom. Don’t give up on
outdoor socializing either. Try brief meetings
outdoors when possible. Don’t let go of your
folding chairs, the ones many of us acquired
in the beginning of the pandemic and used to
turn the lawn areas in front of our buildings
into our living rooms... Continue reaching out.
Nurture the relationships you have. Rekindle
relationships you have neglected. Create the
relationships you wish you had. Connect with
family and friends who are good listeners and
care about how you feel. Social connections
are one of the most powerful protective tools
available to us. And performing acts of kindness,
any type of kind acts, is a wonderful way
of shifting our focus outward. As a Japanese
proverb I like states: “One kind word can
warm three winter months.”
4. Shift your mindset toward acceptance of
what is. Lower your expectations – relief will
probably take a little longer than we wish. Find
ways to be present in the moment. Try to use
imagery in your meditations: Close your eyes
and retrieve a happy place from your recollections
of old trips or from your collection of
sweet memories. Go back in your mind’s eye.
Relive. Choose a favorite beach, a lake, a cabin
in the woods, any place that has somehow
touched your soul. Note that special places and
special moments are tucked into our memory
archives in full color and, though we cannot
go back physically, we can retrieve the images
and enjoy revisiting, especially in the cold of
winter. When we really need to, we can try to
dream away the cold...
So, bottom line: it is winter, and we are very
tired of the virus. However, unfortunately,
the virus does not seem to be tired of us. It
flourishes whenever we let our guard down.
We need to find whatever reserves of strength
and resilience we have to cope adaptively with
the days ahead. We need to go on tolerating
inconvenience, find ways to deal with hardships.
We need to endure the “new normal”
for the promise of a better future. Can you
imagine how appreciative we shall all be for
a new beginning of the “old normal”?
I remind myself of what I need to be grateful
for during the winter months. Here, at North
Shore Towers, I don’t need to worry about
snow shoveling, icy roads, power outages.
Winter vistas warm my spirits when observed
through our windows, against the background
of the Manhattan skyline. The trees, now familiar
to me from my all-season daily walks, a
mixture of bare trees and evergreens, look like
sculptures, waiting patiently for their colorful
spring outfits. My daily gratitude meditations
do help me put things in perspective.
Yes, I know: our pandemic-soaked days are
laced with loss and grief, and we need to make
space for these feelings too. Grief and gratitude,
losses and pleasures are not in competition.
They do not cancel each other out. It is not
one or the other. Still, we now have reasons
to believe that better times are not too far off.
Winter will relent and the pandemic will relent
too. No winter lasts forever. Neither does a pandemic.
Both will pass, and we shall remember
our perseverance, our patience, the strengths
we managed to mobilize, the hope we held on
to. Winters can help us discover ourselves in
more depth. The cold months, particularly the
Covid-tainted cold months of 2021, prompt
us to delve inward in order to find sources of
warmth and light. As the French writer and
Nobel Prize laureate, Albert Camus, put it:
“In the midst of winter, I found there was,
within me, an invincible summer. And that
makes me happy. For it says that no matter
how hard the world pushes against me, within
me, there’s something better, pushing right
back.”
February 2021 ¢ NORTH SHORE TOWERS COURIER 17