50 LONGISLANDPRESS.COM • DECEMBER 2019
FAMILY & EDUCATION
GENEALOGY WEBSITES HELP ADOPTEES SOLVE FAMILY MYSTERIES
Adoptees’ efforts to identify their
parents are nothing new, but technology
and legislation are changing
the process. Gov. Andrew Cuomo
recently signed a New York State bill
into law that gives adoptees the right
at age 18 to see their birth certificate,
solving the mystery of their parents’
identity.
"Knowing who we are and where
we came from is critical not only to
understanding our heritage, but for
knowing our health history and any
risks it might pose,” State Assembly
Speaker Carl Heastie (D-Bronx) said.
But in the absence of a right to know
in states where they were adopted,
some adoptees are using technology
to learn their parents’ identity.
Anthony Tyson, Marsden’s husband,
recently traveled with her to Wisconsin
to a reunion to meet members of
her father’s and her family, after she
located them.
“I found the whole experience very enlightening
and extraordinary,” Tyson
says. “It brought a lot of respect from me
for my wife for having pursued it. And
fortunately, it came out pretty well.”
While geography can simplify a
search, Marsden’s was complicated
by time spent in different regions.
She grew up in Oconto Falls, Wis.,
near Green Bay, until around age 3,
when her adoptive father got a job
in Mobile, Ala. Marsden went to a
Quaker boarding school in Philadelphia,
Barnard College, became an
architect, married Anthony Tyson,
and moved to Long Island, where they
had a daughter named Julia.
“I tried to contact my birth mother,”
she says. “You can write a letter to
the state of Wisconsin, where the
adoption took place. I wrote a letter
in 1996 after Julia was born.”
Marsden got back a response from
the state that her adoptive mother refused
the contact, and didn’t pursue
things — until she heard about Ancestry.
com.
“You do a spit test and find out about
your DNA,” she says. “Ancestry.com
has a box. ‘Do you want to keep this
private or public?’ I figured what the
heck. I’ll keep it public.”
She found out about distant cousins
and got an email indicating a hit.
“It says, ‘You have a new match,’” she
says. “It’s a first cousin. That’s real.”
Marsden contacted Eddie Ebel, her
first cousin, told him when she was
born, and had some others do DNA
tests, identifying her father.
A search angel with DNA Detectives
confirmed that and provided
additional information and in late
August, Marsden and Tyson went to
Antigo, Wis., where her father, who
died in 2008, had lived. She met a half
brother and other family members.
“My overall feeling was they were
very warm,” Marsden says. “They’re
very low-key people. That doesn’t surprise
me. That’s kind of the way I am.”
Marsden sees the new New York State
law as something that could provide
access to adoptees even if it wouldn’t
have impacted her.
“It’s a huge deal, “Marsden says. “In
Wisconsin, you can’t get your birth
certificate until your birth parents
are dead.”
Even then, Wisconsin doesn’t notify
a person when their birth parents
die. Marsden thinks technology still
can unlock the secret, helping people
identify their parents, although that
doesn’t mean a relationship will
always grow out of that.
“With Ancestry, most adoptees
will find the answers with a certain
amount of effort,” Marsden says. “So
many people are doing these. You’ll
eventually hook up with a first cousin.
If you get a first cousin match, you
can find out who your parents are.”
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