20 TIMES • MARCH 3, 2016 FOR BREAKING NEWS VISIT www.qns.com coping with death When widowho od comes early When one loses a beloved spouse, it is always devastating. It is especially so when the death occurs at a young age. Whether by accident, from illness or because of warfare, becoming widowed early in life presents special challenges to the bereaved. Nearly 500,000 American men and women share the burden of being widowed young - before the age of 45. Victor M. Parachin, a minister and National Funeral Directors Association grief educator, writes extensively on all aspects of grief. Here are some of his thoughts about what can happen when widowhood comes early: FEELINGS OF SHOCK AND NUMBNESS ARE COMMON The hardest time comes after the funeral. A massive amount of support is generated in the fi rst few days and weeks after a death. The hardest time for young widows comes in the third and fourth months when concern expressed by family and friends has eased. Young widows report that keeping busy by returning to work or volunteering more of their time is helpful during this period. Having children can be a blessing. Because they need love, nurture and attention, grieving mothers and fathers are naturally provided with ways to invest their energy and temporarily distract them from their own grief. However, children can complicate a young widow’s grieving because he or she must help the children cope with the loss of the other parent at a time of emotional devastation. Some hospice organizations offer a special program “Wave Riders” which provides unique support to help bereaved children. Young widows have no peer group. When a man or woman is 60, 70 or 80, he or she generally has friends who have lost a wife or husband. Consequently, older men and women have opportunities to view how grief affects their friends and have time to think about how they would cope if they were widowed. Younger widows however, do not have such peer groups and are less prepared emotionally and practically. Support groups are vital. Because there is a lack of peer support for younger widows in our culture, counselors strongly suggest that a young widow seek and join a grief support group as soon as possible. Your neighborhood funeral director can be a valuable resource to suggest the names of local support groups or grief counselors. Unique problems plague younger widows. One issue is the daily challenge of single parenthood and raising children without a father or mother. Women may experience added fi nancial pressure because a major income source often disappears after the death of a husband. Men must replace the parenting and household duties that had been provided by the wife. Young parents may want to consider term life insurance policies for both to protect their families from fi nancial disaster if either parent dies at a young age. Keep it simple and keep it the same. Maintaining familiar routines can be a source of comfort for the widow and children. As for re-entering the social scene after the death of a spouse, Parachin would like to add that it is important to do what feels best for your particular situation. Some young widows choose to date again and remarry. Others have no interest in establishing a new family unit. Nevertheless, whatever course is taken, remember to defer drastic changes in your lifestyle and seek out grief counselors for the advice and comfort needed at this diffi cult time. Reprinted with the permission of the New York State Funeral Directors Association. s ALL FAITHS MONUMENTS, INC. “Dedicated to Quality” Serving All Cemeteries In The Tri-State Area • Open 6 Days A Week (Closed Sundays) • Courteous Personal Service • Finest Quality Monuments • Custom Design Service EXPERT CEMETERY LETTERING WITHOUT REMOVING THE MONUMENT OR DISTRUBING THE GRAVE No Obligation - Free Estimates 40 Years Experience We really do care Families have been relying on us for the last 40 years Jim Stagnitta P: 718-628-9671 F: 718-628-9685 email: Jwstagnitta @gmail.com 7128 Cooper Avenue - Glendale, NY 11385 (Corner of 71st Place & Cooper Avenue) (718) 821-8401 www.edisonplaceny.com 7128 Cooper Avenue - Glendale, NY 11385 In (Corner your of 71st time Place & Cooper of need Avenue) ...... Let us (718) 821-8401 www.make edisonplaceny.you comfortable com ______________________________________________________________________________ LUNCHEON $21.95 Per Person Choice of House Salad or Soup du Jour Appetizer Choice of Chicken Francaise, Penne ala Vodka or Baked Tilapia in Capers and White Wine Entrée Choice of New York Cheesecake or Chocolate Mousse Cake for Dessert Coffee, Tea and Soft Drinks Included. Beer and Wine Package Available (+$10 per person) Our story…. The corner of 71st Place and Cooper Avenue has been serving the community of Glendale and the surrounding neighborhoods in Queens for over eighty years. It has been an historical gathering place since before "71st Place" even existed on a map. Back when a name meant something this same location was the corner of Cooper Avenue and Edison Place. So with this nod to the past, a new, yet rustic, and well-worn look and an eclectically casual New American menu, Edison Place was born. Why should you have to travel for good food and drink with good people? Why not let other neighborhoods come to you? With this in mind we look to carry on the tradition of Stefen's and Von Westerhagen's before us. So whether it's a dinner for two on a Tuesday night, or a weekend party for sixty let us be your place, your neighborhood place. Edison Place. LUNCHEON $21.95 Per Person Choice of House Salad or Soup du Jour Appetizer Choice of Chicken Francaise, Penne ala Vodka or Baked Tilapia in Capers and White Wine Entrée Choice of New York Cheesecake or Chocolate Mousse Cake for Dessert Co ee, Tea and So Drinks Included. Beer and Wine Package Available (+$10 per person) ( other options available ) We can accommodate up to 75 people
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