Qveen for a Day
I love the royal family. I love the
pomp and circumstance that
surrounds their every move.
Like many little girls, I used to
dream one day I’d become a princess.
Not only did my dream come
true, but instead of becoming a
princess when I married, my husband
said I was his “Queen.” Can’t
do better than that! In a tribute to
the royal family, I am now declaring
myself not a Queen but a “Qveen.”
The “Qveen of Kvetching.”
Let me tell you, kvetching is
something I rarely do. We all at one
time or another enjoy a kvetch or
two. A kvetcher is a whiny conversationalist,
but laughter is my
thing. I have a million laugh wrinkles
to prove it, but when you gotta
kvetch, you gotta kvetch. Today is
that day and I apologize, but I must
share with someone.
Most mornings when I get up, I
give a little stretch and a short happy
kvetchy sound. (A happy kvetch is
acceptable. It is much better than
a woe is me kvetch.) One recent
morning, my stretch and ensuing
kvetch told me something was
different. It was kind of an oy vey
moment. I’m sure at some time in
your life you’ve had that feeling. That
different feeling didn’t stop there.
When I got up I was limping
instead of skipping, I was flopping
instead of flapping, my spirits were
sagging along with the rest of me,
and my eyes were popping. Oh
no! My old acquaintance sciatica
had returned for a visit during the
night. For literary purposes, I’m
going to refer to this pain as a he,
because what else can you think
with a name like Sy Attica, also
known as Lum Bago and Arthur
Ritis. He keeps changing his name
hoping people won’t realize who
he is until it’s too late.
My husband, Howard, was a
jealous man, but he couldn’t do a
thing about my relationship with
Sy. He was not mad, but sad about
it. In reality, I knew Sy before I met
my husband. Sy and I met on a
skiing trip, when I fell and injured
myself. Who knew he was going to
be an uninvited guest who would
overstay his welcome?
Sy is a fickle type, because he’s
had relationships with a lot of people
I know and these relationships
never ended up well. He is truly an
ingrate. I feed him, dress him, take
him to the theater and travel with
him. He really has a great life
and not one word of thanks.
He’s literally and figuratively
a pain! How do you get rid of
a nudnik like this?
Since I don’t ski anymore, I’ve
found out, if I twist the wrong way,
he shows up. So I don’t twist. If
I bend the wrong way, he shows
up. So I don’t bend. If I sneeze,
he shows up. So I don’t sneeze.
That could be a problem. I wonder
where does that sneeze go? He has
really changed my lifestyle.
When I can’t stand it any longer
I go the doctor. The doctor tells me
“to bend, twist and exercise. It’ll
help.” Sometimes yes. Sometimes
no. Doesn’t he realize doing those
things brought me to him in the
first place? Oy! What should I do?
My conversation with the doctor
kind of went like this. “I don’t look
the same or feel the same because
of Sy. What can I do? Just look at
the state I’m in. Look at my face.
When I woke up this morning, I
glanced in the mirror and nearly
fainted at what I saw. Because of
the pain my hair has gone gray and
is starting to fall out, my previous
lovely skin has become pasty looking
and horribly wrinkled and both
my eyes are bloodshot and bulging
from their sockets. I look like
someone who has just died. Help
me! What is wrong this time?”
The doctor gives me a quick exam,
looks into my eyes and says, you
have a lot wrong with you, but, I can
say one thing: I’ve discovered there’s
nothing wrong with your eyesight!”
I’m tenacious. Despite all of
this kvetching, I must say I still
look forward to each day with its
challenges and all they bring. The
pain is a speed bump, which has
slowed me down a tiny bit, but is
not stopping me. Look carefully
when I pass you. Sometimes that
smile resembles a wince, but I’m
still moving and sincerely happy
for my good friends and good life.
Years ago, superstitious people
changed their names, so the
dark angel couldn’t find them.
I’ve decided I’m going to change
my name to escape from Sy! I’ve
decided to become Qveen Kvetchy!
North Shore Towers Investment Club
2018
July BY BUD BANK
She spoke about the effect on
patiently answering each concisely
club and personal portfolios caused
and in a professional manner.
¢TPhoto courtesy of Bud Bank by the recent North Korean talks
It was unanimous among the club
COURIER he investment club had their
between President Trump and Kim
members to ask her to return as
monthly meeting on Tuesday,
Jong-Un, as well as discussing retail
the featured speaker for our next
June 12, at 7:30 p.m. in the
sales/federal interest rate news and
regular meeting.
Coleridge Lounge, a full house
defense stocks. Her enlightening
Speaking of which, our next gathering
TOWERS with members, new members and
discussion was informative and
will be special; a brunch meeting
guests. Our Co-President Herb Copper,
served as a wonderful current
in the Towers on the Green,
who has served on the Board
events lesson. I enjoyed every
at 11 a.m., Sunday, July 15, open
of Directors for six years and is
minute of it, learning how all these
menu. No charge for members, but
SHORE loved by all our residents, opened
events affect our stocks.
all others are invited to attend for
the meeting. 2018 marks the 25th
After her presentation, Elyse
a $15 admission.
(standing, l. to r.) Mort Ofsie,
Anniversary of the club’s existence
was pleasantly surprised by the
Residents who wish to see how
Treasurer; Bud Bank, Membership
NORTH and Herb has been a member for 10.
amount of questions members
the Towers Investment Club operates,
Chairman; new member Sam
Herb introduced Elyse Wels,
had. She had no idea the success of
please call Bud Bank to make
Brenner; (sitting, l. to r.) Herb
Copper, Co-president, Marianne
a financial advisor for Morgan
her lecture, but handled the many
a reservation to sit in on our next
Levensteim Co-president, new
24 Stanley, Garden City branch.
member inquiries with aplomb,
meeting (347-502-7365).
member Linda Lessen