REMEMBER WHEN?
NOSTALGIA IN THE TIME OF THE PLAGUE
“How sad and bad and mad it was – but
then, how it was sweet.”
– Robert Browning
BY DR. NURIT ISRAELI
• How prone are you to feeling nostalgic?
• What are you most nostalgic for?
• Is there a particular period in the past that
you find yourself reminiscing about?
• Are there songs that tug on your heart
strings because the lyrics hit close to home,
or the music reminds you of something or
someone special?
• Has the Covid-19 crisis elicited nostalgic
reactions? Has nostalgia been helpful?
Nostalgia is composed of the Greek
words nostos, meaning homecoming,
and algos, meaning ache. According to
the Oxford Dictionary, “nostalgia” is “a sentimental
longing for the past.” Nostalgic thoughts
may focus on a person we have been close to,
a place that is important to us, or a significant
event. The yearning for a vanished past may be
bittersweet. Sweet, because this yearning is typically
for a period or a place with happy personal
associations: Nostalgia entails re-creating past
experiences into existence again, and memories
of good old days are pleasant to relive. Bitter, because
nostalgia may be entwined with regret over
missed opportunities, grief over what was lost,
or realization that the longed-for past cannot be
reproduced. Reconciling ourselves to this mixed
nature of nostalgia enables us to more fully savor
the sweetness.
Good memories are one of our most prized
possessions. One of my favorite films is
Casablanca. In the final scene of this 1942
classic, there is an iconic line, spoken by Rick
(played by Humphry Bogart), who tenderly
tells his former lover, Ilsa (played by Ingrid
Bergman): “We’ll always have Paris.” Rick is
referring to their brief love affair in Paris some
years earlier. As he is sending his once-in-a-lifetime
love off on a plane, accepting that he and
Ilsa are never likely to be reunited, he comforts
her by saying that, for the rest of their lives, they
will have a cherished memory of their singular
romantic encounter. An affair to remember...
Research shows that nostalgic longings are
prevalent during periods of transition, particularly
developmental life cycle transitions, such
as maturing into adulthood or evolving into older
age. Moving to a new country and other major
life changes tend to prompt nostalgic reactions
as well – a retreat in times of uncertainty. It is
not surprising that the Covid-19 crisis prompts
yearnings for the past. We speak nostalgically
about the “old normal,” comparing it to the less
appealing “new normal.” Nostalgia invites us
into a world that feels considerably simpler at a
time when we have to contend with adjustment
to uninvited changes.
Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and other
special occasions are also known for eliciting
nostalgia. It is natural on such occasions to
long for times gone by, often spent with now
departed or faraway loved ones. Feeling a bit sad
during recent holidays, I found consolation in
photos of past holidays, revisiting memories of
the goodness that was and will hopefully return.
An article in Scientific American, Why
Nostalgia Is Good for You, reports that nostalgia
may serve a positive function: the bittersweet
emotion may improve mood and increase
feelings of vitality. It makes sense. Nostalgic
reminiscence connects us to our past, creating a
link between our present self and our past self.
This link offers a sense of personal continuity
which may provide comfort during stressful
times. Also, nostalgic recollections often include
loved ones, reminding us of our social connectedness
across time.
For older adults, nostalgic moments of reminiscing
are a part of the process of life review,
adding depth and meaning to personal narratives.
The past becomes increasingly more
important as we advance in age and our future
shrinks. We look back at the times we lived
through and contemplate the past retrospectively,
our view of earlier decisions and events
colored by the lens of the present.
It is important to remember that holding on to
pieces of the past does not stop one from moving
forward. On the contrary, knowing that we have
survived past hardships may give us strength to
cope with present obstacles. Remember how
Odysseus relied on memories of home and
family to survive difficult times?
For immigrants, nostalgia is a way of holding
on to a past that, though lost, is eerily alive
within them. Both my parents, who emigrated
from their homeland, reveled in nostalgia. My
father was born and raised in Poland, which he
managed to leave just before WWII. He never
saw his family again. All members of his family
of origin perished during the Holocaust. Ever
since I can remember, one of my father’s favorite
songs was Kinder Yorn, an old Yiddish song
famous for the way it expresses longings for
the childhood years:
“Childhood years, sweet childhood years,
you’ll stay alive forever in my memory.
When I think back to you, nostalgia grips
me. Alas, how fast I’ve grown old.”
The lyricist describes the small home where
he was born and raised, his beloved mother,
and a girl he once thought would be his – all
vanished, though the sweet memories remain
very much alive.
My father loved to listen to this song and used
to sing along, pouring raw emotion into his
singing. I knew this song reminded him of the
family he lost, and I knew how difficult leaving
a homeland and never seeing it again had been.
I knew that, although homesickness permeated
his memories, he allowed himself to accept the
sorrow and feel the longing. Although there
were regrets and great sorrow, he derived comfort
from reliving the good memories of years
past. Whenever I saw tears in his eyes, he would
reassure me: “These are good tears; reminiscing
is good for the soul.” My parents are long gone,
yet I still often listen to the familiar song and,
every time I do, I am profoundly moved.
Nostalgia relies on memories. Our memories
are selective. We tend to remember most
vividly emotionally charged events rather than
mundane experiences: peak experiences as well
as traumatic events are stored in our memory
archive, regardless of how much time has
elapsed. Additionally, our memory tends to
store moments rather than whole days, images
rather than whole sequences, feelings rather
than detailed interactions.
What we end up remembering is not always
identical to what we have actually witnessed.
Remembrances of past occurrences are not necessarily
remembrances of occurrences exactly
the way they happened. Memories are not
video cameras which record events faithfully
in detail. Our memory takes pieces of our past
and creates its own narrative of the times we
lived through, the special events that affected
22 NORTH SHORE TOWERS COURIER ¢ March 2021