when we don’t feel joy, hide emotional pain,
or conceal anger. We are socialized to mask
certain feelings in order to behave in accord
with acceptable social norms.
Carl Jung wrote about “adopted personas”
– the different social masks that we wear in
different situations. Our social masks, the social
faces we present to the world, allow us to adapt
and fit in. When we meet people, only a small
part of who we are is revealed, the tip of the
iceberg. We tend to initially reveal solely those
parts we want known about ourselves.
Ted Kooser, a previous American Poet
Laureate, wrote the poem, Best Face. It starts
as follows:
“’Just put on your best face,’” Mother
would say,
Telling me how to get on in the world.”
We are socialized to put our best face forward.
Wearing a “best-face mask” is burdensome. The
poem’s message is that the best face is not the
cover-up but rather one’s own true face.
In another classic poem, We Wear Masks,
written in 1895 by Paul Laurence Dunbar, he
describes the “masks” that black Americans had
to put on, hiding their true feelings in order to
survive racism:
“We wear the mask that grins and lies...
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile...”
We all sometimes wear “masks” that hide our
true feelings. As in this poem, our smiling faces
may cover up tears and sighs. The core of our
emotions, impulses, and urges often remains
invisible.
Nothing exposes our true faces like a crisis,
and during a pandemic – even when we are
masked, we are not inevitably hidden: The
visible, pandemic-related face coverings
which mask parts of our faces unmask parts
of who we are. Our mask-related behavior
unveils our beliefs, our priorities, the ways
we deal with social challenges, the ways of
care about each other, our levels of patience,
tolerance, and consideration.
For an article in Scientific American:
Masks Reveal New Social Norms, science
writer, Lydia Denworth, interviewed behavioral
scientists who study ways of encouraging
behavior changes. She concludes that,
to convince people to adopt new behaviors,
“a new behavior must first ascend to the
status of a social norm.” In order for a new
behavior to become a norm, we must believe
that other people expect us to endorse the
behavior, that it is socially approved, and
that violating this conduct is censured. It
is a self-reinforcing cycle: the more people
use masks, the less strange it feels to wear
masks and the higher the acceptance rate
for using them.
Just as we keep on finding ways to prevent
physical distancing from becoming social distancing,
we must find ways not to let masks
– these enforced barriers – interfere with our
social encounters. A major problem resulting
from the use of masks is facial recognition.
We know that facial recognition is a holistic
process – it happens all at once. We don’t
identify people’s features piecemeal. Masks
make it more difficult to figure out whom we
are looking at. They also remove the visual cues
we use to understand what is being said, altering
both the volume and the clarity of speech. The
necessary six-foot distance further magnifies
these challenges.
Paul Ekman, a renowned expert in the
study of emotions and their facial expressions,
traveled around the world to research facial
expressions of seven core feelings: Joy, sadness,
fear, anger, surprise, disgust, and contempt.
Apparently, these feelings tend to be written
all over our faces... Ekman’s studies show that
humans express these emotions in ways that
are universally comprehensible. All over the
world, people are able to recognize how others
feel by reading their faces. We depend on
facial expressions to express ourselves and to
communicate with others.
How can we reduce communication barriers
while still protecting ourselves and others?
Alexander Todorov, a professor of psychology
at Princeton university, studies the science of
facial expression and face perception. In his
book, Face Value, he unveils the role of the face
in human affairs, its impact on first impressions,
its power to influence. But in an interview by
Scientific American focused on the impact of
using face coverings, he says:
“People compensate. When they meet on
the street, there is more gesticulation. People
engage in strategies to make sure that they’re
being understood.”
Have you noticed that we are trying harder to
compensate for the missing facial expressions?
That we are gradually learning to rely on external
clues which we did not pay as much attention
to earlier? For example, hairstyles (except
that, with hair salons closed for months, these
too have changed...), the way people walk,
the way people talk, hand gestures, tone of
voice, and mostly – eye expression.
Cicero said: “The face is a picture of
the mind with the eyes as its interpreter.”
When encountering masked individuals on
my walks, I try to make eye contact to establish
human connection. The eye region has
become all important! Did you know that
sales of eye makeup are booming? At the same
time, there are dramatic declines in lipstick
sales. Masks make lipstick obsolete. A lover
of lipstick, I did try initially, out of habit, to
apply lipstick before putting on a mask. As
you can imagine, it did not work out well...
When interacting with masked people, I
try to be conscious of what is potentially lost
and abide by the communication challenges
resulting from invisible lips: Move to a quiet
place whenever possible. Face the person I am
talking to. Talk louder and slower. Enunciate
words as clearly as possible. Maintain eye
contact. Use my eyes expressively to convey
feelings. Practice smizing (smiling with my
eyes). Use hands and body language. Ask
listeners if they understand. Repeat when
necessary. Resist the urge to pull my mask
off to be heard (as tempting as it may be...).
Despite initial hesitation, I discovered that
Zoom gatherings and FaceTime meetings,
though unable to match the intimacy of in-person
meetings, can help us feel connected. And
last but not least, I came to terms yet again with
the realization that, when push comes to shove,
nobody will rescue us unless we do what we
can to rescue ourselves...
So yes, the masks that conceal also reveal.
Though wearing a mask is a small act, it reveals
our wish to be a part of the solution, accept
the challenges posed by a new reality while
we all wait for a vaccine. Mask wearing signals
human solidarity, civic duty, and elementary
kindness. It moves the locus of control to us:
something beneficial we can do in an otherwise
difficult-to-control situation. True, I don a mask
to protect myself but, even more, I don a mask to
protect you. My mask-wearing is an attempt to
prevent my actions from inadvertently causing
harm to you: show you that I care about you
and your well-being. To make sure I am never
without a mask, I put masks everywhere, just
in case: by the door, in the car, in my handbags.
Also, I try to wear my mask correctly – fully
covering both my mouth and my nose, not
underneath my nose or beneath my chin and
definitely not dangling off one ear...
Let’s face it: masks are unlikely to be outdated
any time soon. The virus creating a pandemic
is sneaky, invisible, and nearly impossible
to detect. It is using “masked” ways to enter.
Our mask-wearing is one way of fighting back:
masked against masked! Fortunately, no plague
lasts forever. Let us remind ourselves: this is
temporary, a storm that will ebb away. I dream
about a time when we shall be able to resume
our lives as they were before the pandemic:
free to see each other with our faces exposed,
breathe maskless without endangering anyone,
laugh together without ensuring six feet
of separation, congregate in any size crowd,
shake hands, touch ungloved, hug not virtually,
share food, celebrate with loved ones without
worrying, keep holiday traditions any way we
wish, enjoy togetherness that does not come
through a screen.
In the meantime, may wearing masks in
public places be a statement of solidarity –
demonstrating our support for a practice that
can save lives. May it show our collective care
for one another, be a signifier of our shared fate
and mutual obligation to do our share to contain
transmission. We are all in this together.
We are responsible for one another. I keep
reflecting on Albert Camus’ verdict regarding
ways to survive a plague – conveyed via the
words of his protagonist, Dr. Rieux, in his
classical novel, The Plague (written in 1947):
“It’s a matter of common decency. That’s
an idea which may make some people smile,
but the only means of fighting a plague is –
common decency.”
Or, using the simple but deep words of Dr.
Seuss to express the same idea:
“Unless someone like you cares a whole
awful lot,
Nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”
January 2021 ¢ NORTH SHORE TOWERS COURIER 17