Steve Jobs, the co-founder
of Apple, Inc., died a
billionaire at age 56 in
2011. He wrote an essay
on his deathbed which
I’ve edited lightly here.
It’s worth a second or third
read before you decide
to save it or send it to a
friend. ~ Fred Chernow
“I reached the pinnacle
of success in the business
world. In some others’
eyes, my life is the epitome
of success. However, aside
from work, I have little
joy. In the end, my wealth
is only a fact of life that I
am accustomed to. At this
moment, lying on my bed
and recalling my life, I realize
that all the recognition
and wealth that I took so
much pride in have paled
and become meaningless in
the face of my death.
Material things lost can be found or replaced.
But there is one thing that can never be found
when it’s lost - Life. Whichever stage in life you
are in right now, with time, you will face the day
when the curtain comes down.
Treasure love for your family, love for your
spouse, love for your
friends. Treat yourself well
and cherish others. As we
grow older, and hopefully
wiser, we realize that a
$300 or a $30 watch both
tell the same time.
Don’t educate your children
to be rich. Educate
them to be happy. So
when they grow up they
will know the value of
things and not the price.
Eat your food as your medicine,
otherwise you have
to eat medicine as food.
There’s a big difference
between a human being
and being human. Only a
few really understand it.
You are loved when you
are born. You will be loved
when you die. In between
you have to manage! The
six best doctors in the
world are sunlight, rest,
exercise, diet, self-confidence, and friends.
Maintain them in all stages and enjoy a healthy
life.”
rapid and full recovery. Was there
anything wrong with this type of
benevolent untruth?
On a lighter note: Is it immoral to
lie to a child about Santa Claus or
about tooth fairies? Is it immoral to
tell someone you enjoyed a meal he
or she worked hard to prepare, even
though this feedback isn’t entirely
accurate?
When my daughter was a toddler,
she used to get impatient having to
sit on airplanes between boarding
and takeoff. To ease her discomfort,
I offered her a “secret trick.”
I promised that if she would wait
patiently for the right moment
(which I would help her identify),
she would be able to get the plane
to take off by intently pressing
the tip of her nose with her index
finger. I still remember the spurts
of joy once the planes took off, as
she witnessed what she believed to
be a response to her action! Was it
wrong to make up this well-intentioned
untruth?
A different question regarding
“truth”: Is there an absolute truth,
based on unalterable, invariable,
objective facts? Or is truth relative?
The classic Japanese play
“Rashomon” creatively portrays
the elusive and subjective nature
of truth: A crime is described by
four witnesses. They provide four
versions contradicting each other,
making it impossible to know for
sure who is telling the truth, what
is the truth, and whether there is
an absolute truth.
One of my favorite playwrights
is Harold Pinter. I recently saw a
(memorable) revival of his play
“Betrayal” on Broadway. In it, as
in most his plays, he exposes the
multiplicity of truth. In his Nobel
Prize Acceptance Speech, Pinter
said: “Truth is forever elusive,
but... the search for it is compulsive.
The search is your task. The
real truth is that there never is any
such thing as one truth... There
are many... These truths challenge
each other, recoil from each other,
ignore each other, are blind to
each other...”
Was Friedrich Nietzsche right
when he said: “There are no facts,
only interpretations”?
When teaching a Couple and
Family Therapy course, I once
invited a Family Court judge to
talk about the challenges judges
confront in their efforts to do justice.
He described an experiment
which took place in an introductory
class at a reputable law school. The
professor planned an enactment of
a crime scene. A group of people
barged into the room and engaged
in a fight: they screamed, pushed,
shoved, and abruptly left the room.
The professor then asked his
students, a select group possibly
including some future judges, to
write down a description of what
had happened. There were as many
descriptions as there were students
in the room...
A similar story emphasizing the
multiplicity of truth: In a small village
in Eastern Europe, where the
rabbi served as the arbitrator of civil
disputes, two litigants in the midst
of a dispute came to him seeking
a resolution. One of the men outlined
his arguments first. The rabbi
listened attentively, impressed with
his reasoning, and declared: “you
seem to be right!” Then the second
man presented his arguments. The
rabbi listened just as attentively,
impressed by his testimony, and
concluded: “You seem to be right
too!” The rabbi’s wife, who had
overheard the conversations, came
to him puzzled and asked: “How
can both men be right?” The rabbi
listened to her patiently, thought for
a short while, and responded: “You
know, my dear, you are right too!”
Still, there is one kind of truth we
should adhere to without exception:
being true to ourselves. The social
and moral philosopher Eric Hoffer
said: “We lie the loudest when we
lie to ourselves.” Similarly, in “The
Brothers Karamazov,” Fyodor
Dostoevsky wrote: “Above all,
don’t lie to yourself. The man who
lies to himself and listens to his
own lies comes to a point that he
cannot distinguish the truth within
him, or around him...”
Being true to ourselves entails
taking frequent stock of who we
are: are we as kind, fair, and just
as we wish to be? Do we act in
accordance with our convictions?
Does our behavior reflect our values?
The fatherly advice offered
by Polonius to his son in William
Shakespeare’s Hamlet seems as
relevant today as it was when it
was written:
“This above all, to thine
own self be true,
And it must follow,
as the night the day,
Thou canst not then
be false to any man.”
A Final Word from Steve Jobs
30 NORTH SHORE TOWERS COURIER ¢ January 2020