48 LONGISLANDPRESS.COM • DECEMBER 2020
FAMILY & EDUCATION
HELPING LOVED ONES WHO HAVE HOLIDAY BLUES
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“We internalize things we repeatedly
hear, so if we fill our day with positive
statements, we will eventually
internalize these,” he adds.
Dr. Holtz suggests that you can influence
comfort and happiness with
statements such as:
“I can choose what gatherings to go
to and which to avoid.”
“I can deal with this. I have done
well in these situations before.”
“I will practice self-care and not put
pressure on myself.”
“I will seek out positive friends and
relatives and enjoy their company.”
“I can enjoy these holidays in my
own way.”
Holtz advises not to spread yourself
too thin this season, and to be
supportive of others who may be
experiencing similar feelings.
“Learn to say ‘no’ if the situation is
too stressful,” he says.
Understanding that you are not
alone may help to put things in
perspective and help you to move
to a place of acceptance, says Josh
King, PsyD, director of clinical and
digital services integration at the
Center for Motivation and Change,
Long Island, N.Y,C., D.C., and MA.
“Acknowledge and recognize that
this is a hard time and begin to
strategize on how to get through it.
The minute you work on acceptance,
you’re going to be flexible and able
to find ways of engaging, regardless
of what is going on.”
Practicing both mindfulness and
distracting skills may help you stay
balanced and focused in situations
where you may otherwise feel anxious
and sad.
“Ask yourself, ‘How do I be present
for that moment even if it does not
feel like exactly what I wanted?’”
poses Dr. King. If you find yourself
jumping ahead, try an exercise like
counting backwards from 100 by
7, he suggests. “It can help to bring
you back into the moment and get
centered.”
Be kind to yourself, experts say.
Take some time to do what you most
enjoy or what makes you feel calm
and at peace. A warm bath, a stroll
through town in fresh air, or reading
a good book, for example.
“Exercise is a well-known remedy
for depression,” notes Dr. Holtz.
“Exerting yourself actually creates
adrenaline and other hormones that
improve mood.”
In order to help yourself or someone
else through depression, know the
signs, says Randy Tanzer, licensed
clinical social worker, Long Island.
“Any changes in behavior should
be noticed,” she says. These include
changes in patterns of eating, sleeping,
and the ability to “function”
academically, with work or in completing
daily living tasks.
“Behavior is there to show us things
about what a person is going through
or how they are functioning in ways
they can’t say with words,” she adds.
Behavioral changes should not be
ignored any time of year, including
the holiday season, advises Tanzer.
“If you know someone who is suffering
with depression and may have a
more challenging time this season,
reach out to them,” says Tanzer.
“People want to be heard and understood
… ‘I’ statements help. ‘I care’
or ‘I love you’ can go a long way in
showing someone you care. If we
gently intervene, something can
change for the better.”
Invite others to participate in charitable
endeavors, enjoy holiday
music, or decorate — “small acts you
can do together to help boost spirits,”
Tanzer suggests. She advises,
“If things begin to feel too out of
control, however, seek professional
support.”
COLLEGE ENROLLMENT
LESS STRESSFUL APPLICATIONS
Applying to colleges is exciting for
many high school students. But that
excitement is sometimes tempered by
anxiety. The college application process
can affect students’ lives for years to
come, so it’s understandable that some
teenagers might feel stressed as they
apply to college.
Students can employ various strategies
to make applying to college less
stressful.
INVENTORY AWARDS,
EXPERIENCE
When completing their college applications,
students submit a variety of
materials. In addition to students’ track
records in the classroom, schools will be
interested in kids’ extracurricular activities,
hobbies, volunteer work, and even
things they do during their free time.
Parents and students can work together
to develop a master list that includes
information about what students have
accomplished during high school. These
may include involvement in certain
clubs, participation in sports teams, advanced
ranking in scouting programs,
or even a list of books read. Having this
document handy will make it that much
simpler to fill out college applications.
INVESTIGATE COMMON
APPLICATION
The Common Application began as a
niche program for select private liberal
arts colleges, but now has grown into an
organization that services more than
750 schools. The organization enables
students to create an account and complete
one basic form that will be accepted
by all institutions that are members.
The CA helps students streamline the
college application process and reduce
redundancy. An alert system also
helps applicants manage application
deadlines.
AVOID EXCESS APPLICATIONS
Some students think that applying to
dozens of schools will
improve their chances
of being admitted. However,
applicants may be
wasting their time applying
to schools they have
no intention of attending,
and that only adds to the
stress of meeting deadlines.
Narrow down the
possibilities to a handful
of favorite schools and go
from there.
USE YOUR
RESOURCES
Students who have access
to guidance counselors,
mentors, college centers,
or even teachers who
are willing to help with
the application process
should use these resources
The college application
process can affect students’
lives for years to
wisely. In addition, iPhone and
Android apps can help streamline the
college application process.
CONSIDER
SCHOLARSHIPS
Some schools automatically
consider applicants
for scholarships,
grants and work-study
programs. But that’s
not so with every
school, so students may
have to apply on their
own or rely on third
parties for scholarships.
Fastweb is a leading
online resource to
find scholarships to pay
for school.
Advance preparation
can make the college
application process a
lot less stressful for
students and their
parents.
-Metro Creative Connection
come.
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