54 LONGISLANDPRESS.COM • OCTOBER 2021
LIFE EVER AFTER
CANCER LOSS HOW TO COPE
Just about everyone has been touched
by cancer in some shape or form, and
many have had to contend with the
death of a loved one. The people surviving
those who have lost their battles
to cancer may be left with grief and
uncertainty about what’s next.
Some people may not know how to cope
with no longer being a caregiver. The
American Society of Clinical Oncology
says grieving a loved one comes with
intense feelings that may last a year
or more. There are strategies that can
help people adapt and process their
loss.
FEEL THE LOSS
When a loved one gets a cancer diagnosis,
people may recognize that the
stakes are serious. Fears about a loved
one’s well-being are oft en put on the
back burner when treatments begin
and a positive, supportive attitude
takes over. But it’s natural to grieve
and feel hurt if a loved one loses his or
her battle. Whether you cry, scream, or
take other actions, there is no wrong
or right way to work through the pain.
IGNORE TIMELINES
The National Cancer Institute says
that grief has stages, but not everyone
experiences those stages in the same
way. Bereaved people usually have
grief pangs and bursts. Recognizing
that this process will not be the same
for you as it was for another frees you
from the pressure of conforming to a
schedule.
TALK TO SOMEONE
Knowing your feelings are valid and
talking with someone outside the family
for a fresh perspective and support,
such as a grief therapist, can help you
work through the emotions you are
experiencing. The medical team that
helped your loved one may recommend
a survivors’ group or a therapist who
specializes in cancer loss.
PUT YOURSELF FIRST
If you lost a spouse to cancer and you
have children, you may want to address
the children’s needs immediately. But
you cannot care for the kids eff ectively
without also caring for yourself. Take
the time to work through your issues
before trying to make sense of what
a child or another relative might be
experiencing.
No one ever imagines losing a loved
one to cancer, and such a loss can catch
anyone off guard. When confronted
with such a loss, it’s important that people
recognize that working through
grief is a process that is diff erent for
everyone.
-Metro Creative Connection
Grieving a loved one can take a year
or more.
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