C RY D E R
P O I N T
DECEMBER 16
BY JILL DAVIS OOuutt About
&I was reading the Business Section the other day and came across this timely news
item:
Following the modern trend of huge company mergers, it was announced today at a press
conference that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. A holiday industry leader said at
an office party that the deal had been in the works for thousands of years.
According to their press release, it is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve days
of Christmas and eight days of Hanukkah will benefit both sides. We will be able to enjoy
consistently high-quality service during the Fifteen Days of Chrismukah, as the projected
holiday is being called.
Some layoffs are expected, with lords a-leaping and maids a-milking being let go first. As
part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the dreidel, currently in Hebrew, will
be replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible to a wider customer base.
While they were at it, the translating of “A great miracle happened there,” was changed to
the more generic “Miraculous stuff happens.” During the merger, it is believed that Jewish
people will be allowed to use Santa Claus and his vast merchandising resources for buying
and delivering their gifts.
One of the more pressing points that had been holding up the merger for the past 200
years was if Santa could have the milk and cookies after eating a hamburger. Another
breakthrough happened when Oreos were finally declared to be Kosher. All sides appeared
happy about this.
A spokeswoman for Christmas wouldn’t speak on camera about adding Kwanzaa in
the near future. She merely pointed out that were it not for the independent existence of
Kwanzaa, the merger between Christmas and Hanukkah might indeed be seen as an unfair
cornering of the holiday market. She then closed the press conference by leading all present
in a rousing rendition of “Oy Vey, All Ye Faithful.” (Source: Nobleworkscards.com)
Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to one and all! Check out
some of the events coming up over the next few weeks:
Holiday Train Show
Now through January 21, 2019, 10am-6pm
NY Botanical Garden
2900 Southern Blvd., Bronx
nybg.org
718-817-8700
The Garden changed things up this year with
an exhibition that showcases Lower Manhattan
and the debut of One World Trade Center and the
historic Battery Maritime Building along with two
vintage ferry boats. You have to remember that everything
is created out of natural materials, which
makes this annual display even more fascinating.
There’s also music, poetry, tours, and kid-friendly
programming for the whole family to enjoy. Tickets range from $10 for kids to $30 for
adults, depending on when you go; check out the website for more details.
The Nutcracker
Saturday, December 15, 7pm
Kupferberg Center for the Arts
LeFrak Concert Hall, Queens College
153-49 Reeves Avenue, Flushing
kupferbergcenter.org
718-793-8080
Would it really be the holiday season without at least one presentation of Tchaikovsky’s
“The Nutcracker”? Actually there are a number of productions in and around the city
this year, but this one at Queens College is pretty convenient. This production follows
the same choreography by Marius Petipa and Vasily Vainonen that the Bolshoi Ballet
uses, so it’s the real deal. Tickets are $23 to $42.
16 CRYDER POINT COURIER | DECEMBER 2018 | WWW.QUEENSCOURIER.COM
Holiday Open House
Wednesday–Friday, December 26–28, 12pm-4pm
Queens County Farm Museum
73-50 Little Neck Parkway, Floral Park
queensfarm.org
718-347-3276
While there are still a couple of days off after Christmas, take the kids over to Queens
County Farm Museum and check out the old farmhouse. It’s a historic landmark and
it’ll be all dolled up for the holidays. You can take a tour of the house and the kids can
enjoy crafts, and everybody will warm up with hot mulled cider. P.S. This event is free!
Local Art Show
Registration Deadline: December 29
Show Dates: January 13-27
Bayside Historical Society
Ft. Totten Castle
bayside historical.org
718-352-1548
BHS is hosting its 18th annual art show next month
featuring the work of local artists working in a variety of
media. Artists wishing to exhibit their work should make
note of the registration deadline, December 29. Contact
BHS for more information.
John Oates in Concert
Saturday, January 5, 8pm
Landmark on Main Street Theater
232 Main Street, Port Washington
Landmarkonmainstreet.org
516-767-6444
It might seem a little weird to see John Oates without Daryl Hall, but fact is Oates has
been solo since 1999. He’s been getting a little more country over the years too; his current
tour features The Good Road Band, a band of Oates’ friends and fellow musicians
that he’s assembled for concerts in smaller, more intimate settings (like this one in Port
Washington). He’ll be playing material from his recent album Arkansas, which Oates
describes as “Dixieland, dipped in bluegrass, and salted with Delta blues.” You don’t
have to be a rich girl to get tickets; they’re $42 to $56.