C RY D E R
P O I N T
FEBRUARY 14
Cryder Point Courier Exclusive! A Oneon
One Conversation with Cupid!
BY JILL DAVIS
The Cryder Point Courier has snagged a rare,
exclusive interview with the one-and-only god of
love, Cupid. He recently cleared his busy calendar
to speak with us at his estate on Love Canal, where
he lives with his wife of more than 1,000 years,
Psyche. The conversation has been edited for space
and clarity.
CPC: Hi Cupid, it’s great to finally meet you. I have
to say you’re a hard god to get a hold of. To get us
started, can you tell our readers a little bit about
yourself?
Cupid: Sure, and please call me Cue. To tell you the
truth, I’m excited about this. I haven’t done an interview
since I sat down with Pope Benedict I back in
575. Sighs Feels like it was just yesterday. Anyway,
I’m sure you know I come from a line of immortal
Roman gods. My dad is Mercury, the winged messenger,
and my mom is Venus, the goddess of love. I
find that pretty ironic, but I’ll get to that in a minute.
I inherited their immortality as well as their genes,
which set me up pretty well to break into the love
biz. I gotta say it’s been a pretty good gig.
CPC: It’s no secret that you’ve often been characterized
in the press as “mischievous.” Would you like
to comment on that?
Cue: I’m glad you brought that up. I can’t tell you
how many P.R. firms I’ve fired over the years for
keeping that phony image of me out there. Fake news
I tell you! My mom’s the mischievous one! True story:
Eons ago, mom used me to take revenge on a mortal
woman. It was awful. Her name was Psyche. Lucky
girl, I fell in love with her and we got married, so
now she’s immortal too. Laughs Mom was totally
psyched out! Psyched out, get it?
CPC: Got it, and no more bad puns, please. So you
and Psyche have been married a really, really long
time. Tell me, what’s the secret to your longevity, I
mean, aside from the fact that you’re immortal?
Cue: I know, they say that true love’s supposed to
last a lifetime. If you’re mortal that’s a marriage of
what, maybe 50, 60 years if you’re lucky? Puh-lease,
that’s a blink of an eye! Try a thousand years! It
takes work, let me tell you, and it doesn’t help that
my mother still hates her. So what Psyche and I do is
keep each other laughing. Leans in I’ll let you in on
a little secret. Sometimes I slip into my wings and fly
around the house naked with my bow and arrow. I
look like a jackass, but it cracks her up every time so
it’s totally worth it. By the way, you’re the first mortal
I’ve ever told that to, I swear.
CPC: Blushing Uh, let’s move on. It seems the divorce
rate has increased exponentially over the past
couple of hundred years. What are your thoughts
on that?
Cue: Well first of all, there are just so many more
Cupid in an undated image/Courtesy of Psyche
human beings in the world than when I was first
starting out. It was easier when I had a smaller pool
of people to match up, know what I mean? And to
tell you the truth, my aim isn’t what it used to be. But
gimme a break, I’m over two thousand years old and
a guy’s gonna get a little nearsighted. So I’m gonna
miss sometimes, and sometimes I’m gonna pierce the
wrong heart. So sue me.
CPC: What do you think about online dating? Has
it had a significant impact on your business?
Cue: Ugh! I’ve been hearing for 20 years how I’d
be obsolete with all that match-dot-com-e-harmony
stuff. I should pack my quiver and go home, they
said. What they don’t know is that I was actually
one of the inventors behind the whole thing. I’m
serious. Between the eyesight going and the population
booming, I just had too much on my plate. I
tried training a couple of assistants and called my
cousin Eros, but it still wasn’t enough help. When
the internet came along, I was like, “Finally, I can
automate and keep up with demand!”
CPC: Can you share with our readers some of your
favorite matches?
Cue: Well, I can’t name names. My attorney would
kill me—hypothetically, that is laughs. Seriously,
after I volunteered to testify in the Jennifer Aniston/
Brad Pitt divorce trial, I got into big trouble.
You probably read about it. What I can say is that in
general, my favorite matches are the ones where the
14 CRYDER POINT COURIER | FEBRUARY 2019 | WWW.QUEENSCOURIER.COM
people actually believe they met by accident, like by
some weird twist of fate or something. I hear them
tell their stories over and over and I just smile, ‘cause
I know better.
CPC: So Cue, it’s February, and you know that
means Valentine’s Day is coming up. How do you feel
about being so closely associated with the holiday?
Cue: Shrugs Meh, it’s okay I guess. It’s cute when
I see the cards with me and a picture of a big heart
on the front and it’s cool to be connected to a saint
I guess, not that I name-drop. And if you ask me,
Psyche’s the real saint with what she’s had to put up
with. I just think every day should be Valentine’s
Day. You shouldn’t have to pay double for flowers
just because it’s February 14, is all I’m saying.
CPC: Well that about wraps up our interview.
Before we go, do you have any final thoughts you’d
like to share?
Cue: Yeah, actually I do. To all the single people out
there, I’m gonna use a quote I’ve used a million times:
“It’s better to be single wishing you were married
than married wishing you were single.” I don’t know
who said it, but I believe it’s true. And to those who
have a special valentine, remember that if Psyche and
I can hang in here all these years, you can too. Unless
you’ve got a mother like mine, then all bets are off.
CPC: Thanks, Cupid, for all your time today.
Cue: No prob, Cryder, this was fun. Come back
anytime. And Happy Valentine’s Day!
/WWW.QUEENSCOURIER.COM
