58 THE QUEENS COURIER • HOLIDAY GUIDE • DECEMBER 12, 2019 FOR BREAKING NEWS VISIT WWW.QNS.COM
holiday guide
Manage grief with grace this holiday season
Holidays are fi lled with traditions, but
when someone you used to share those
moments with has died, managing grief
during the holiday season can be particularly
challenging.
Mental and physical preparation are
your best tools for managing the feelings
that may accompany holidays. While
family members, particularly children,
may want things to be as they’ve always
been, the reality is things have changed.
It can also be a time to create new traditions
and memories that honor your
absent loved one.
Consider this advice from the National
Funeral Directors Association to help
navigate grief this holiday season.
1. Get plenty of rest. Th e holiday season
pulls people in many directions, and
that can mean getting less sleep than you
need. However, being tired not only has
a physical impact on how you feel, it can
aff ect your ability to process emotions.
2. Give yourself permission to take a
break. No two people process grief and
loss the same way; only you know your
limits. Even in a season fi lled with obligations
and commitments, know that it’s
OK to set boundaries and remove yourself
from holiday reminders and triggers.
Th at may mean fl ipping the channel
on the TV or bypassing the holiday
display at the store. Taking care of yourself
when you’re grieving isn’t just about
fi nding comfort, it’s also about avoiding
discomfort.
3. Be realistic with your commitments.
You may be the one who hosts your family’s
holiday celebration every year, but
if others off er to take responsibility, let
them. Allow loved ones to help, and if
they don’t volunteer, don’t be afraid to
ask.
4. Look for tangible ways to express
feelings. So much of grief is internal
as you manage numerous thoughts
and emotions, but physical expressions
of your memories and feelings can
help process it all. A package like the
Remembering A Life Self-Care Box contains
several resources to help you take
care of yourself. It includes a journal, a
rose quartz stone that promotes relaxation,
a water bottle to remind you to
stay hydrated, a jar to hold written memories
of your loved one, a soothing candle,
a dragonfl y keychain symbolizing
hope and comfort, and a soothing essential
oil roller.
5. Verbalize how you’re feeling. Manage
expectations by telling family and friends
how you’re feeling about the holiday and
what they can expect from you. Also let
them know what you need from them.
If talking about your loved one brings
comfort, let those around you know you
appreciate the stories and reminiscing. If
it hurts, ask that they refrain.
6. Honor your feelings and needs. As
most who have experienced loss know,
grief comes in waves. Th e only way to
process grief is to ride one wave to the
next. Th at may mean putting off your holiday
shopping for a day when you’re feeling
less emotional or bowing out of an
event you planned to attend.
7. Include your loved one in the holidays.
Th ere’s no right or wrong way to
incorporate your loved one’s memory;
that all depends on what feels right to
you. It may mean serving his or her favorite
dish, placing a photo on the mantel or
simply slipping a memento in your pocket
so you can touch it when you’re feeling
overwhelmed.
— Courtesy of Family Features
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