30 THE COURIER SUN • COPING WITH DEATH • MARCH 7, 2013 FOR BREAKING NEWS VISIT www.couriersun.com How to cope after losing a spouse BY RANA HUBER It is always devastating when one loses a beloved spouse; becoming widowed presents many challenges to the bereaved. Grief is a normal reaction to the death of a spouse or loved one, but most of us are not prepared to deal with our grief. We are often frightened and upset by our reactions to the death and wonder if we will ever recover from this overwhelming emotion. Bereavement counselors caution that grief has no timetable but often takes longer than the bereaved or the people in their lives expect. Many counselors recommend asking for and accepting help from an expert in loss and bereavement issues if any of the following experiences are intense or continue for a long period of time: · • Are you always irritable, annoyed, intolerant or angry? • Do you experience an ongoing sense of numbness or the feeling of being isolated from your own self or from others? • Do you usually feel that you have no one to talk to about what happened? • Since your spouse died, are you often highly anxious about your own death or the death of someone you love? Is it beginning to interfere with your relationships, your ability to concentrate or live as you would like to live? • Do you feel that you are always or continually preoccupied with your loved one, his or her death, or certain aspects of it even though it’s been several months since their death? • Do you feel the need to be continually busy beyond what is normal for you? • Are you afraid of becoming close to new people, or even dating, for fear of losing again? • Do you fi nd yourself acting in ways that might prove harmful to you over time: drinking more than you used to; using more prescription or non-prescription drugs; engaging in sexual activity that is unsafe or unwise; driving in a reckless or unsafe manner or entertaining serious thoughts about suicide? Beyond these signs, trust your own judgment. If you think that talking to a professional might help, there are many resources available to you. You can also ask your family funeral director for the name of a local bereavement counselor who can help you. For a list of funeral homes in your area, visit: www.nysfda.org, a website of the New York State Funeral Directors Association. If you have thoughts of suicide contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK. In addition, the Hospice Care Network offers bereavement counseling and support sessions in Queens (718-939-CARE). Remember, be patient with yourself. People have a natural inclination to recover. But, if your grief is taking over your life, it is time to seek help. coping with death s ©2001 AdfinityTM All types of services for all types of people. yp Some people prefer traditional funeral services. Others prefer cremation. Some want an elaborate ceremony. Then there are others who don’t want any ceremony at all. When it comes to funerals, there are as many options as there are people. And we take pride in being able to say we offer them all. Morton Funeral Home Ridgewood Chapels Continuing a proud tradition of dignified, personal service. 663 Grandview Ave. • Ridgewood NY 11385 718.366.3200 www.mortonridgewood.com The Largest Family Owned & Operated Jewish Funeral Homes Gutterman’s Funeral Homes want to be called first when YOU CHOOSE to -- years in advance, rather than when you need to. Main Office • 516-764-9400 Chapels in: Serving Long Island, New York & Florida Gutterman’s Funeral Homes now in our 120th year is proud to still be family owned and operated. With professional funeral directors specializing in Pre- Arrangement conferences, we have sought out the resources to aid you for all your elder care needs. Call us to learn how Pre-Planning for your services will fit into your Estate Plan or your Medicaid application.In home appointments are available to discuss your need for an elder care attorney, a geriatric care manager, assisted living placement services, daily money management, hospice assistance and more. Along with payment options and advantages at no obligation we can help you with social security and veteran benefits as well as cemetery plot research. Call us to review which of our chapels servicing the five boroughs and all of Long Island may best be able to service you. WOOdbury, L.I.: 516-921-5757 8000 Jericho Turnpike Queens: 718-896-5252 98-60 Queens Blvd, & 66th Ave. rOckvILLe centre, L.I.: 516-764-9400 175 N. Long Beach Rd. brOOkLyn: 718-284-1500 2576 Flatbush Ave. at Ave. U
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