2 The QUEE NS Courier • health • OCTOBER 6, 2016 for breaking news visit www.qns.com ▶health BREAST CANCER AWARENESS 3 things to say and 3 things NOT to say when someone you love has cancer by Merryl Reichbach and Ana Zabniak One of the most challenging tasks we are faced with when someone we love has cancer is to manage our own strong reactions. This is not easy to do. When hearing upsetting and surprising news we can feel a sense of disbelief, shock, anger, grief. These feelings are normal, but we will probably need to sort things out on our own or with someone we trust. If we don’t get a handle on our own strong feelings— unhelpful, inappropriate and insulting things may come flying come out of our mouths. Don’t try to come up with reasons someone has cancer. “It’s because you eat red meat/exercise/took vaccinations.” This feels like victim blaming. We don’t know why some people get cancer and some don’t. It’s OK to have your ideas, but keep them to yourself. Don’t say, “You don’t look sick.” Telling someone they don’t look sick when they are coping with an invisible but serious illness (and whose treatment can have invisible but difficult side effects) can feel like you are denying their reality. Don’t focus on appearances unless your loved one initiates this topic. Don’t bring up people you know who have died of cancer. It is natural that they will come to your mind. However, your living person with cancer is probably already thinking of that and doesn’t need you to bring that up. Stay and listen! Just because you don’t know what to say, is no excuse to run and disappear. You can’t go wrong by being quiet and listening. If your loved one wants to talk about tough issues, listen. Follow their lead. Tell them that you are there and make it clear what you can truly offer—time, escorting them to treatment, babysitting, meals, money for yoga classes, a caring ear. Figure out what you can do and offer it. And don’t wait for your loved one to ask. Many people, especially those who are used to taking care of others and putting other’s needs first, won’t ask. But that doesn’t mean they don’t need your help and won’t take you up on your offer if you speak up first and maybe offer more than once! Do talk about your feelings with someone you love and trust—just not the person with cancer! Supporting someone can be draining and painful. Of course you will need support from time to time. You just need to get your needs met from someone who can be available. The ABCs (and Ds) of Medicare Choices Fidelis Care encourages seniors and their families to compare the different products available to them for 2017 Medicare coverage before Medicare open enrollment ends on December 7. “It’s important for seniors to find the Medicare Advantage product that best meets their needs,” explained Pamela Hassen, Fidelis Care Chief Marketing Officer. “At Fidelis Care, we know that researching Medicare plans isn’t always as simple as A-B-C, which is why we try to provide as many tools and resources as possible to help people make the best decision for themselves.” When comparing Medicare plans, Hassen offers the following research tips: AAdd up all possible costs. Consider the monthly premiums, copays, coinsurance, deductibles, and out-ofpocket maximums each plan presents to estimate your possible costs in 2017. Fidelis Care Medicare Advantage members can look up their past claims online using the Member Portal, to estimate how much they spent on health care Bwithin the previous year. Balance the price with your health care needs. The Medicare Advantage option you select should offer a good value. For example, some plans have higher monthly premiums but low copays for provider visits, while others have no monthly premium, but higher copays. Determine what works best for you based on your budget and how often you might need health care. CCheck your medications. Always take a look at the plan’s drug formulary to see if your medications are included, as well as how much they will cost you under the plan you are considering. Talk with your provider if you Dhave questions. Decide on your providers. Make sure the doctors and hospitals you want will accept the plan that you choose. Further, if you’re considering switching providers, make sure they are conveniently located. To learn more about Fidelis Care’s Medicare Advantage and Dual Advantage products, Hassen encourages individuals to use the Fidelis Affordable Care Advisor, found on the home page of fideliscare. org. The Affordable Care Advisor lets users quickly estimate the cost of coverage, and they can schedule an appointment with a representative. Box: Get Ready for NY State of Health Open Enrollment In addition to Medicare Advantage products, Fidelis Care offers a range of quality, affordable health insurance products for individuals and families, and now is the perfect time to get covered. People looking for metal products through NY State of Health: The Official Health Plan Marketplace can enroll from November 1, 2016-January 31, 2017. Enrollment takes place year round for Child Health Plus and Medicaid Managed Care. The low-cost Essential Plan for those who qualify because of income will also have year-round enrollment. Fidelis Care offers a range of metal products (bronze, silver, gold, platinum). Each product offers the same great benefits, including preventive and emergency care, but with different premiums, deductibles, and levels of cost-sharing. For more information, call 1-888-FIDELIS (1-888-353-3547) or visit fideliscare.org.
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