By the time you read this
story I will have exceeded
my 4th month, or 160th day,
or 3,840 hours or 230,400 minutes
or 13,824,000 seconds of my quar-antine.
Who’s counting? Oy vey! I
think I have too much time on my
hands. Don’t I have more import-ant
things to do than accumulate
these statistics? I think so, but
for some reason it’s getting a little
more challenging trying to do the
same thing in a different way.
I frequently check the current
supply of food in my fridge and
cupboards, but that can become
repetitious and boring. I now have
a master list of the things I want
and usually don’t get. Yesterday
I alphabetized all the food in my
freezer. I have put the side dishes
on the left and entrees on the right.
Dessert has a dispensation. I put
it right where I can see it. I file it
with a shiny gold star and dead
center. By mistake I received some
yucky, low fat, low sugar, chunky
peanut butter-kasha ice cream.
It’s amazing how you get used to
eating things you would never have
looked at in your other life - B.C.
To make finding my food easi-er,
I also have placed tabs on the
shelves in the fridge: A-G on one
shelf, H-M on the next shelf and
finally N-Z on another. I think it
helps. I’m not sure about my spell-ing.
Is Caesar salad spelled Caesar
I try to take a bit of time to use up
my day whenever I do something.
Come on! For example: Didn’t you
used to eyeball the amount of water
you needed to cook something?
Well now I use a measuring cup,
because then I have to wash out
the “clean” measuring cup when
I’m done and then wipe it with a
dishtowel (and the towel adds to
my laundry). That takes at least two
minutes. Wow! Just hundreds more
to go until the end of my day.
I’m really getting into the knack
of cooking with whatever I have.
Have you ever eaten crab cakes
with cholent? That was my lat-est
combo a few days ago. Pizza
with ketchup and cheddar cheese
(yum???). Chicken meatballs with
pitted prunes and gribenes (piec-es
of crisp chicken skin crackling
fried with onions). I actually liked
the gribenes better than the meat-balls.
I hope no one tells that to my
Ordering food is a whole other
story. I’m sorry to say food deliv-ery
is very inconsistent. One site
which took me three weeks to get
on and one week for delivery is
now not taking orders from me.
Why, the $20 tip wasn’t enough?
Yesterday I ordered another huge,
huge order via the internet. When
the question was asked if I’m a
robot, after typing my request
for almost 1 ½ hours, I guess my
answer wasn’t fast enough and my
order disappeared into space. It’s
hard to type with these ten inch
nails! That almost made me cry,
but I sat down with another dish
of ice cream and I felt all better. By
chance, I found another site that
delivers by the time I hang up my
phone. They’re great but out of 40
things, they delivered two dozen
eggs and a box of toothpicks. If I
could use both items for a meal,
that would be great. Toothpicks are
not great in an omelet. Too many
My personal hygiene is still
good. I try to shower at least once
a month. If I’m not wasting food,
then I’m not going to waste water!
I stopped shaving my legs but I
do I have a schedule of plucking
every six months. I don’t want to
trip over what hair that I still have.
My pedicure is on an as-needed
basis. If I sound like a puppy when
I walk barefoot on the floor then
it’s time to trim those nails. I’m
beginning to look like the mess
Howard Hughes was like when
he was in his reclusive phase. Oy!
Who wants to look like that?
I’m feeling much more religious
these days. Even though I always
pray a lot, I think it has intensified
because of that white halo in my
hair that’s getting whiter and wid-er
with each passing day. I’m not
sure if my self-trim is working. I
comb all my hair forward and cut
my hair short enough to be bangs.
The other day I made a mistake.
Now I have bangs in the front
of my head and in the back and
because of that, some days I can’t
tell if I’m coming or going. When
I think about it, that’s not quite so
new a concept to me.
I have another problem. My scis-sors,
they might really have been
my poultry shears. I’m not sure.
They are not only dull but I can’t
see where I’m cutting. Soon I’m
going to have to decide whether I’m
going to wear braids or “payot” (side
curls). After watching “Shtisel” on
Amazon for so long I kind of favor
the side curls. Do I need to buy a
curling iron? I have to admit I’ve
been binge-watching this show that
has Hebrew dialogue and English
sub-titles. It’s scary but I think I’m
starting to understand Hebrew.
Scariest of all is that I think I’m
starting to speak English with an
Israeli accent. Shalom, y’all.
Come back next month to read
Part 2 of my sorry sequestered saga
(maybe I’ll have gotten a real hair-cut
July 2020 ¢ NORTH SHORE TOWERS COURIER 17