Lately, every time I put my TV
on I’m smacked with this ad
about a bed. It’s not just a
bed. It’s a smart bed. Why? What
makes a bed smart? Does it have an
IQ? Does it comfort me when I can’t
find a good position to fall asleep
in? Does it cool me off when I’m
too hot or warm me when I’m too
cold? What about a hug? I guess it’s
smart advertising to highlight the
word smart.
The word smart has high appeal
to the smart who feel smarter and
the not-so-smart who want that
designation affixed to them, even
it’s because of something they own
and not what they are. This particular
bed is smart because it senses
your movements and automatically
adjusts firmness. I, who am usually
exhausted from crawling around
in my bed all night, will most
definitely give this bed a nervous
breakdown if it’s so fine tuned
to my every movement. This bed
purportedly has more positions
than a Master’s and Johnson
research textbook. Hmmm! By the
way, included in the price is a 30
year warranty. That’s not exactly
something I need. Do you think if
I decided to buy it, they might give
me a discount?
From what I’ve been reading, “In
today’s world, brain is worth more
than brawn. We live in a digital age
surrounded by smart devices and
connectivity, where everyone is
trying to get smarter faster.” So, let
me ask, do you think if I sleep in a
smart bed my body might start to
feel smarter even though my brain
is in a REM mode? Can that smartness
possibly be absorbed through
osmosis?
The bed is just the tip of the
iceberg for smart devices. A smart
something is becoming a common
thread in most of our lives. How
much smarter have we become
because of our smart phones?
Most people have them. In 2018
there were 22 billion smart devices
around the world. When I traveled
through some impoverished areas
during my trips, people didn’t
have running water or sanitation
but they had a smart phone in
their hands. I don’t even have to
remember a lot of things because
my phone does it for me. Oy! That’s
not good. Do you remember Flip
Wilson’s line, “The devil made me
do it?” Well, if I can’t remember
something, my answer will now be
“My smart phone made me do it.”
When I buy my smart car, it’ll
know where to take me. When I
park in a mall, will it tell me where
it is when I can’t find it? Will it
remind me to stop on a long trip to
use the bathroom? Probably not.
A smart husband would do that.
I’m not that street smart, I don’t
have a smart mouth and I don’t
consider myself a smart a--, but
maybe I can say I’m some kind of
smart cookie. I make smart choices
and I have learned to align myself
with the smart money and my
friends are as smart as a whip.
Do you remember when our
children were younger and they
watched “The Jetsons”? George
Jetson pushed buttons all day on
his job, or was it a computer? Jane
Jetson had a robotic house keeper.
Then there was Dick Tracy who
was a cartoon character when I
was a child, and he had that wrist
radio. That was in 1946 and it
wasn’t until 2015 that Apple came
out with the first smart watch.
Buster Crabbe, who portrayed
Flash Gordon (before my time)
and enthralled everyone with
his space odysseys, allowed us to
dream of space exploration. Most
recently NASA’s Perseverance
rover completed a successful trip
to the red planet, Mars, and is the
epitome of multiple smart devices
working in consortium with each
other allowing us to fulfill fantasies
and the dreams of our youth.
My Amazon Alexa has smartly
replaced some boring conversations.
My refrigerator is smart
enough to break down when it’s
loaded with holiday food. That’s
a talent! Next time I’ll get a fridge
that can order take-out food
for me.
My smart bulbs are very expensive.
My question is if they’re so
smart how come they don’t warn
me of an impending black-out or
stay lit until I find my light on my
smart phone? Last week I was run
over by my smart vacuum. It wasn’t
too bad. I only fractured one toe in
three places. I have nine others. I
tried buying a smart watch. It was
so smart that I needed a degree to
use it. Funny, the guy who sold it
to me said he didn’t know how
to use it either but he was smart
enough to get me to buy it. I should
have bought diamond earrings. No
instructions needed. Put them on
and kvell. My car fob is very smart,
at least until the battery blows. It
opens the trunk when I want to get
into the car and locks me in when
I want to get out. I tried to heat up
my steering wheel and burned my
tush. That’s not a smart car, just an
uninformed driver. A smart TV is
my next foray into technical smartness.
I have to be honest, I don’t do
much TV these days, but it’s been a
long time since I’ve had someone in
my home, so a TV delivery person
would be welcome.
So, I guess the only way to stay
ahead and be successful in life is to
continue to get smarter and keep
learning. Here are some suggestions
that I read about.*
1. “Keep intelligent company.
People of high intelligence
group together because it enables
them to discuss a broad range of
topics.”
2. “Read. Well-read people
are able to articulate more and
develop a vast pool of knowledge.”
3. “Rest. Lack of rest and
exhaustion diminishes your brains
capacity.”
4. “Eat brain food. High
nutrition foods are fuel for the body
and energize brain power.”
5. “Play brain games. The
brain needs to face challenges
to make progress otherwise it
becomes used to doing the same
old thing and not move forward.”
6. “Keep a journal. Taking
notes or writing ideas or things
down enables you to think more
thoroughly and improve your way
of thinking.”
I know these suggestions are part
of the daily routines for many of
us, but it’s good to see that we are
validated by science and research.
I have saved the most important
part of being smart or how to get
smarter for the end of my story. I
hope what we don’t lose track of is
that all these smart machines were
created by a smarter source, the
human mind.
Trying to become smarter is
exhausting. I’m going to set my
smart thermostat to an acceptable
temperature, shut off my smart
doorbell, adjust my smart security
camera (in case I want to talk to
some smart person who is at my
door) and turn on my smart TV and
turn the smart speakers down low
so I can take a smart nap.
Take care. Stay well.
Love and smartly yours,
Gloria
*Quotes by Merritt Whitley
GET SMART(ER)
May 2021 ¢ NORTH SHORE TOWERS COURIER 19