36 The Queens Courier • coping with death • september 4, 2014 for breaking news visit www.queenscourier.com coping with death s When the Funeral Is Over: The importance of aftercare The funeral is over, the flowers are now beginning to wilt, and the sympathy cards and calls of support begin to ebb. We may even return to daily routines of work or school. Yet, the grief continues. In fact, grief researchers often point out that this is one of the more difficult times – the intensity of grief actually increases weeks after the death as the shock of the loss recedes, support wanes, and the very business that surrounds the death ends. Yet, we often face these days alone. This is the reason why aftercare is so critical. In the past two decades, compassionate funeral directors have begun to ask what can we do for our families after the funeral is over? How can we support them – not only at the time of the funeral but throughout the intense experience of grief? The answers have varied. Many funeral homes maintain an active library of pamphlets and books. These resources can have great value. They can “normalize” our grief by reminding us that the many reactions we have including the ways we feel (both emotionally and physically), the ways we think, believe and behave, are normal and natural responses to loss. These materials can offer us suggestions for coping. Most importantly, they can offer hope. Funeral homes also can offer consultation, information, referral or even sponsor support groups. Thomas M. Quinn & Sons Funeral Home has a licensed Mental Health Counselor serving as a consultant who can refer bereaved clients to appropriate resources within the community. It also offers informational seminars four times a year on such topics as dealing with the death of a spouse, significant other, or parent, as well as coping with the holidays. Since holidays can be so difficult after a loss, many funeral homes may offer special holiday rituals. For example, prior to Christmas, Thomas M. Quinn & Sons has a special Holiday Tree Lighting. In this meaningful service, families either bring or create a personal ornament memorializing the person who died. These are placed on a tree that is then officially lighted after a brief ceremony. Many families return year after year to remember and to honor their deceased relatives in this way. The aftercare services of funeral homes are often echoed in other community resources such as support groups that are available in churches, synagogues, and other community organizations. All serve to assist bereaved persons long after the funeral is over. Remember Me Run at St. Michaels “Come Run, Walk or Stroll with us as we join with Visions and Shareing & Careing” “Come Run, Walk or Stroll with us as we join with Visions and Shareing & Careing” This year is totally different. Visions and Shareing & Careing are joining with us. All money raised will be evenly divided between the 2 groups. Partial proceeds of this event will benefit Queens services of VISIONS/Services for the Blind and Visually Impaired. This year is totally different. Visions and Shareing & Careing are joining with us. All money raised After the Run which is to celebrate cancer survivors and the vision impaired will be evenly divided between the 2 groups. we will have the Memorial Service for the 9/11 First Responders. Saturday, September 13th at 3:00PM Partial proceeds of this event will benefit Queens services of VISIONS/Services for the Blind and Visually Impaired. After the Run which is to celebrate cancer survivors and the vision impaired we will have the Memorial Service Fee: Participants $25 for the 9/11 First Responders. Registration begins at 10:00 AM -children 10 & under FREE- Saturday, September 13th at 3:00PM Refreshments provided Fee: Participants $25 Registration Available Online at: Registration begins at 10:00 AM www.stmichaelscemetery.com or By Mail -children 10 & under FREERefreshments provided 72-02 Astoria Blvd. East Elmhurst, NY 11370 For information contact: Ed Horn at 718 278 3240
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