health The ‘F WORD’ YOU NEED TO SAY DAILY FORGIVE yourself, silly! Get your head out of the gutter! Forgiveness is my favorite “F” word and I am dead serious when I tell you that you need to go “F” yourself daily, if not more! Forgiveness is absolutely crucial to be a happy, healthy, serene human being. Someone cut you off on your way to work? Throw a forgiveness bomb at them! Is your friend being selfish about something? Forgive them – especially if you don’t want to! Your boyfriend forgot to call for the hundredth time? Forgive him in your mind before he even apologizes! This might sound absolutely ridiculous but it will transform your life. Try it out for a couple days and really work out those mu scles but most importantly shower yourself in glorious forgiveness. “F”ING YOUR DIET Forgiveness is so important when we are trying to make new healthy, lifestyle changes. It will be the “get out of jail free” card that will keep you in the game when it appears you have fallen off track. The difference between consistently healthy and happy people isn’t a few “naughty meals,” it’s how they feel about themselves and what they do when they veer off the healthy highway. More than half of diets or healthy eating programs fail because when someone falls off track they just give up and go off the deep end. We’ve all been there. You’ve been SO GOOD and then all of a sudden it’s your friend’s birthday and you have one too many drinks and end up stuffing all sorts of greasy, fried diner food in your mouth at 3 a.m. Now, let’s get this straight, I am not saying this as encouragement to eat terribly and then just forgive yourself all over the place. You know the difference between letting yourself go and making excuses for not being conscious about what you’re putting into your body and just forgiving yourself to make you feel better about disregarding your health and making a diligent, conscious effort to incorporate healthier, nourishing foods in to your meals and having a slip up here and there. “F”ING MORE IN RELATIONSHIPS “Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.” -Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven Relationships are almost entirely responsible for how happy we are in life. Our relationships with friends, family, significant others, roommates, and even strangers, greatly impact our daily life. Forgiving complete strangers can be a fun exercise for your “F” muscles. Think of all the situations in your day to day life where strangers piss you off. Let’s start with them because I think that “not caring” factor makes it slightly less challenging than other relationships but believe me only slightly less. Here’s how to start, next time something happens during the day that shifts you from a place of happiness to frustration, ask yourself who or what and then take a deep breath and in your head say “I forgive X for Y” and exhale it away. Repeat this in your head and with your breath. Actively incorporating this in your life will transform your attitude and contentment. It’s a constant practice and it takes a lot of work, so be easy on yourself and do your best! If you thought that was hard, here’s the BIGGIE – injecting the “F” word with your loved ones. Family, friend or significant other, practicing such a high level of forgiveness can feel damn near impossible when it comes to the people you care about. However, these are the best people to forgive because it will exponentially improve those relationships and therefore your life. Just take a deep breath, visualize the person you need to forgive in front of you and silently repeat “I forgive you for X,” while taking deep breathes until you feel the anxiety and frustration melt away. When someone does something that significantly hurts you or upset you, it’s even more important to forgive and free yourself from those feelings. If someone does something serious that hurts you or wrongs you, it’s important to communicate that to them and ask for an apology or some recognition. However, this practice comes in AFTER that conversation has occurred, when whoever it was has apologized or not, after addressing the issue and you are still harboring negative emotions and resentment towards them. You can break up with someone, end a friendship or need space from someone and still forgive them. Forgiving them is still absolutely necessary for your own happiness. Once again, forgiveness is for YOU first regardless of what has happened, holding on to that anger is no longer serving your highest good. “F”ING YOURSELF Ah, the hardest of all! Forgiving yourself when you’ve done something you are not proud of is harder than everything we’ve already discussed combined because it can be the most fatal to our self-worth. We’re not talking about eating red velvet cake here, I’m talking about when you do something really terrible, something you really regret and then you let it haunt you for days, months or years. This level of forgiveness eludes a lot of people but it can be absolutely critical to turning over a new leaf. It’s important to remember that forgiving yourself is not condoning what happened, it’s simply moving forward in the wake of it. Start out with our basic forgiveness exercise, deep breathes and silently repeating, “I forgive myself for X” until it sinks in. In some cases, you are going to need to repeat this forgiveness to yourself on a daily basis. Be patient and persistent, trust the process and allow for it to take the needed time. It will truly change your life if you let it. Cassandra Bodzak is the happy, healthy living guru featured on ABC’s “The Taste.” She started GoSweetandSkinny.com, where she shares her healthy recipes and tips for living your happiest life, and is the proud author of “Juicespiration,” her no-nonsense guide to do-it-yourself juice cleansing. She works with clients all over the U.S. to help them stop dieting, start eating right and achieve the body and life they love! CASSANDRA BODZAK
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