➤ ALLY, from p.18
tional treatment — and this process
is ongoing. Power imbalances, tittering
opinions over assimilation, the
exclusion of trans folks and people
of color, and frustrations around
Pride’s depoliticization would continue
to be a part of community experience,
particularly as corporate
sponsorships began to engulf Pride.
With the popularity of Pride, we
quickly forget anti-sodomy laws,
which targeted gay individuals,
were only struck down nationwide
in 2003 — less than a decade before
“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was nixed.
The last decade saw the legalization
of same-sex marriage, but
also the reversal of health protections
for trans individuals — and
conversion therapy still lingers,
demonstrating the uphill battle
that the community continues to
face. We’re still addressing legacies
of systemic oppression.
Ask Respectful Questions. But
First, Self-Educate
Over the few decades, queerdom
has become a more visible experience,
thanks in part to onscreen
queer imagery, such as “Noah’s
Arc,” “Queer as Folk,” “Queer Eye,”
“The L Word,” “RuPaul’s Drag
Race,” and more recently “Pose”
and “Love, Victor.” This onslaught
of entertainment has sparked
newfound curiosity and raised
questions about the private lives
and numerous identities within
the space. Before asking questions
beyond how someone identifi es
or their preferred pronouns, ask
yourself, “Am I breaching personal
boundaries with this question? Is
this offensive?” Be discerning. If
you don’t know if the question is
offensive, then don’t ask the question.
Remember, you’re not entitled
to anyone’s personal information
or their story. Rather than asking
a potentially loaded question, visit
some of the many web resources
online. If you decide to go ahead
and ask your friend about their experience,
attentively listen and create
a judgment-free environment.
If you get shut down or corrected,
don’t get defensive — it simply may
not be any of your business.
Be Intersectional or Go Home
Trans, gender non-conforming,
and non-binary individuals, as well
as sex workers and undocumented
people, are among the most marginalized
members of the LGBTQ
community. They are the ones who
are most disproportionately impacted
by economic issues, health
challenges and systemic oppression.
Ironically, it’s also these individuals
who’ve often shouldered
the burden of demanding equal
rights. The experiences of people
living with HIV, the ongoing death
toll of transgender women of color,
and youth homelessness are topics
that must remain front and center.
These communities were also
deeply struck by the COVID-19
pandemic. When you’re thinking of
where to donate this month, think
of these subcommunities fi rst. Like
cishet folks, privileged members of
the LGBTQ community can use
their clout to leverage the voices
that aren’t frequently elevated.
Put Your Money Where Your
Mouth Is
Support queer businesses, restaurants,
publications and everything
else all year long. Buy queer
art, queer-made clothing, and support
the life-saving organizations
that foster equality and empowerment.
As a passionate ally, you indeed
want to support the amazing
organizations that provide mercy
and hope. Among the national
groups include the Trevor Project,
which provides a support hotline
to young queer people, and GLSEN,
which focuses on LGBTQ bullying
prevention. The Black AIDS Institute
promotes HIV and AIDS awareness
within the Black community.
The Family Equality Council provides
family planning assistance
to LGBTQ families. StartOut empowers
LGBTQ entrepreneurs. The
Trans Women of Color Collective
uplifts trans POC. The Transgender
Law Center fi ght for legal rights and
laws for transgender people. There’s
a great deal of LGBTQ+ organizations
you can confi dently support.
In short, lend your privilege, be
validating, advocate for fair treatment,
and combat oversexualized
narratives about queer identities.
Also, if you’re going to share something
out on social, be sure to share
something of more substance than
a hashtag-laden boozy pic of you
waving a fl ag. Please share human
experiences, stories of heritage
and legacy, love and loss. As long
as you’re sincere, action-oriented,
and you don’t heavily rely on your
queer friends to educate you (because
it’s exhausting), you’re doing
great.
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