PRIDE
How to Be an Ally
This Pride Month, stand up for the LGBTQ community
BY NICOLE AKOUKOU THOMPSON
Non-LGBTQ folks have a
crucial role to play in the
vibrant LGBTQ movement:
Cishet allies can
be champions who help heighten
queer visibility and relieve LGBTQ
individuals of the burden of warding
off discrimination alone.
They can fl ex their privilege and
challenge homophobia, transphobia,
and biphobia in conservative
and restricted spaces, educating
their friends and families about
tolerance and acceptance. That
said, these dedicated people can
always work toward being a better
ally and friend — and better hone
communication around misconceptions
and fallacy.
The core tenet of allyship with
the LGBTQ community isn’t all
that complicated: be an advocate
and foster an atmosphere of intentionality
and inclusion in all situations,
at all costs. As the oftensaid
statement goes, “being an ally
isn’t an identity; it’s a process.” It’s
a process by which an individual
actively works against oppressive
systems that threaten marginalized
individuals. As an ally, you’re
not expected to be a savior or a
sacrifi cial lamb — you’re expected
to act in solidarity and combat the
corrosiveness of anti-LGBTQ behaviors
and actions. Don’t just go
to the marches, brandish a rainbow
fl ag in your profi le picture,
or arrive early to your local drag
brunch with a palmful of singles.
Show up. Being an ally is a 365-
day gig without a 100 percent foolproof
comprehensive guide, so consider
this a jumping-off point:
Steer Clear of Performative
Allyship
Being a good ally begins with
demonstrating intentionality and
resisting the urge to center yourself.
Don’t be a tourist. Empty advocacy,
including the fl imsy use
of hashtags, doesn’t address the
root causes. As Xochitl Ledesma,
Director of Leading for Equity &
Inclusion for the global non-profi t
Catalyst, once stated, “Performative
allies share their knowledge
Allies can play a role in supporting their LGBTQ friends.
about inequity with others, but
don’t use their privilege and resources
to make real change.”
Genuine allyship translates to the
understanding that one’s actions
ought to be in lockstep with their
words. Authentic allegiance means
shutting down bigotry and ensuring
there’s room in your offi ce,
classroom, neighborhood, church,
or community center for LGBTQ
folks — particularly the most marginalized
and vulnerable. To be
an effective ally, you don’t have to
change the world.
Instead, you have to double down
and ensure that the lives of the
queer people who know are made
better by you. You can probably be
a better ally if you fi nd that you frequently
contribute to, benefi t from,
and tolerate oppressive systems but
fail to use your fi gurative weight to
push LGBTQ folks forward. Begin
facilitating fairness and mutual
respect by listening, resisting the
urge to straight-splain, and waiting
for your turn to speak. Your understanding
is appreciated and valued,
but you can’t advocate for someone if
you’re the loudest voice in the room.
Help others be heard. LGBTQ folks
can tell their own stories, and they
are in command of their own narratives.
Your job is to help amplify the
voices within the community.
Know Your Queer History
By all means, please play Lil
Nas X’s “Montero” on repeat and
support queer-owned businesses,
but don’t stop there. The queer
experience is a vast one, involving
REUTERS/JEENAH MOON
more than glittering garb,
streamers, and the fantasy. It’s a
complicated and varied experience
lived by real people, many who’ve
survived vilifi cation, invalidation,
and pitchforks. Counting yourself
among queer allies means knowing
that history. Queer liberation
has been a tooth-and-nail fi ght to
gain rights, freedoms, and equality.
The Stonewall Uprising was
just fi ve decades ago — and the
culminating riotous clash was not
the only event that sparked change
for the LGBTQ community. There
were marches, sit-ins, organizing,
and other efforts across the nation
to counter anti-sodomy legislation,
bigoted liquor laws, and unconstitu-
➤ ALLY, continued on p.19
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