JULY 16
C RY D E R
P O I N T
BY JILL DAVIS
Beechhurst, NY – On May
23, mere days before the
season’s opening of the
Cryder Point pool, resident
Rosemary Garvey spotted a
lone duck taking a pre-season dip
in the deep end. Ms. Garvey submitted
the photograph to the Cryder
Point Courier, who brought it to the
attention of Cryder Point’s Resident
Manager, Bill Newell.
Mr. Newell shrugged, “I can’t say
I’m surprised. Remember there were
a few of them already partying on
the property back in March?” He
looked at the picture more closely
and paused. “Hey, that’s him!”
he exclaimed. “That’s Mallard T.
Quack! We finally have a positive
I.D.!” Before we could ask him how
he could be so certain that this was
in fact Mr. Quack, Mr. Newell ran
off. “I have to tell the staff at Elite!”
Elite Pool & Fitness is the new company
that is managing the Cryder
Point pool. This is their first year at
Cryder and so are likely unfamiliar
with the ongoing flights of fancy of
Mr. Quack and his entourage.
The CP Courier followed up a few
days later with the president of Elite,
Andrew Meditz. “Yes, Bill showed
me the picture,” Mr. Meditz said.
“I immediately called an emergency
staff meeting of all the personnel
who oversee the Cryder Point pool.”
He continued, “We at Elite take our
jobs very seriously, and it’s troubling
enough that he came in without credentials.
Worse, the pool wasn’t even
open yet so we didn’t have any lifeguards
on duty. Sure, it’s obvious
that he’s a good swimmer, but this is
a safety issue. It sets a bad precedent
for any fly-by-night who might want
to try to pull a stunt like this.”
In related news, resident Marsha
Gellert also submitted a photo to
this newspaper which shows literally
dozens of Mr. Quack’s friends
and family openly cruising along
the shoreline just yards away from
Cryder Point property. “I took this
picture on June 21,” Ms. Gellert
reported. “I remember because it
was the middle of the week when
there aren’t a lot of people around
to notice them. That made me suspicious.
I mean, this is the largest
group of them I’ve seen flocked
together at one time, and I’m wondering
if they’re ganging up. I’m
really worried they might be planning
some kind of takeover or something.”
Ms. Gellert’s concerns may not
be too far off the mark, although
not exactly in the way she thinks.
16 CRYDER POINT COURIER | JULY 2017 | WWW.QUEENSCOURIER.COM
Film buffs will remember the Marx
Brothers’ classic comedy, “Duck
Soup” and Alfred Hitchcock’s legendary
thriller, “The Birds.” Rumors
have been flying all the way from
Burbank to Beechhurst that an animated
reboot of those memorable
movies is in the works, currently
under the working title “Ducks’
Coup.”
Start-up studio Fine Feathered
Friends is said to be pitching the
idea to the major production companies
for backing, and it is speculated
that Mr. Quack has been
approached to sign on as a consultant.
These rumors are not confirmed,
and reps from FFF seem to
be ducking the issue. At press time,
our calls to them for comment have
not been returned.
“I don’t care what the movie is
or what they call it,” said Cryder
Point Vice President Phil Resnick.
“Another film shoot would be great.
We can always use more revenue to
add to the co-op’s reserve.”
But Mr. Newell cautioned,
“Rumors are just rumors. As far as
I know, Cryder Point has not been
approached about a new film shoot.
We have to operate assuming that
things are definitely not ducky and
that Quack and his crew are up to
their old tricks.”
“I agree,” Mr. Meditz said. “We
have to be diligent. Our staff is
undergoing special training to monitor
the pool area closely and get a
bird’s-eye view of any avian interlopers.”
He added, “I want pool members
to know that we are especially
concerned about the Bagel Brunch
Sundays. We’ve been told that these
ducks are particularly fond of lox
cream cheese. I assure you that our
staff is on high alert.”
“We want residents to be aware
that we are only beginning to skim
the surface of this issue,” Mr. Newell
said, “and the Cryder Point staff is
working closely with Elite to keep
the situation from flying out of control.
We ask Cryder Point residents
to be patient and to report any future
sightings immediately. All of us want
this pool season to go swimmingly.”
Residents are asked to contact
the Cryder Point Courier, Elite, or
Cryder Point Management to report
any fowl play, and are encouraged to
supply photographs whenever possible.
As always, caution is advised. If
necessary, please call the Waterfowl
Hotline at 1-800-555-DUCK.
This is a developing story and
updates will be forthcoming as we
receive further information.
Ducks’ Coup?
Gotcha! This photo provided positive I.D. of Mallard T. Quack Photo by Rosemary Garvey
Is there strength in numbers? Photo by Marsha Gellert