30 THE QUEENS COURIER • COPING WITH DEATH • APRIL 30, 2020 FOR BREAKING NEWS VISIT WWW.QNS.COM
coping with death
How to handle a death that occurs away from home
Whether you’re a snowbird going to a
warmer climate to escape winter weather
or you’re traveling on a business trip, it’s
wise to prepare for the unexpected.
Accidents happen. People fall victim to
new or existing medical conditions. Death
is always an overwhelming event, especially
so when it occurs away from home.
Th at’s why it is wise to carry a wallet-sized
card listing the names of your next-ofkin,
the telephone number of your funeral
director and stating whether any funeral
pre-arrangements have been made. Most
travelers wouldn’t dream of leaving home
on an extended trip without carrying
along copies of prescriptions, yet how
many think to include personal information
that would facilitate their fi nal
arrangements if the unthinkable happens?
Robert Ruggiero, a licensed New York City
funeral director, off ers these suggestions to
help cope with death away from home.
Don’t leave the body. Th e most frequent
response by family members experiencing
a death away from home is to hurry home
to begin funeral arrangements.
However, most deaths that occur while
traveling are sudden and require an investigation
by the local medical examiner’s
offi ce and police department.
Th e family member traveling with
the person who remains available to the
authorities at the place of death will expedite
the return process.
If a person has died and family is not
with the deceased, survivors should not
fl y out to the place of death.
With today’s technology, there’s a good
possibility that if identifi cation is required,
survivors can save time by staying home
and requesting another means to accomplish
the necessary procedures.
Appoint your hometown funeral director
as the “point person.” Allow him or
her to select the means of returning your
loved one home. Your family funeral
director is familiar with the necessary
procedures to ease the process for you.
If the death occurs overseas, the U.S.
State Department’s Bureau of Consular
Aff airs in Washington, DC (202-647-
5225) or the local Embassy can provide
emergency assistance for Americans traveling
overseas who encounter a tragedy of
this nature.
For more information visit the Bureau
of Consular Aff airs website, https://travel.
state.gov/content/passports/en/abroad/
events-and-records/death.html
Any expense will ultimately be the
responsibility of the bereaved family but
because of the State Department’s intervention,
there may be no immediate
upfront expense in most cases.
For more information, you might want
to call your family funeral director before
leaving home.
Courtesy of NYS Funeral
Directors Association
Helping children deal with grief
We sympathize when we see someone
experiencing grief caused by the death of
a loved one, but there is something especially
poignant about a child who grieves
over the loss of a parent, grandparent, sibling,
or even a beloved pet.
When children experience the death
of a loved one they grieve just as adults
do, but they may not be able to verbalize
their sorrow.
To compound this, many adults may
not feel comfortable dealing with children’s
sadness, especially when grieving
themselves.
Th ey don’t know how to start the conversation,
they don’t know what to say,
and, especially, they are fearful of saying
the wrong things.
So what can you do? Th ere are many
wonderful books that can help. For example,
in “Helping Children Grieve,” Th eresa
Huntley includes some basic suggestions
excerpted here that will help adults who
want to console a grieving child:
Be aware of personal feelings. When we
are in touch with our own feelings (sadness,
loss, regret), we will be better able
to help bereaved children deal with theirs.
Recognize that each child’s level of
understanding is diff erent. Provide the
children with information and responses
appropriate for their age level.
Recognize that each child will grieve
diff erently.
Encourage questions.
Encourage the expression of feelings.
Let children know that it is okay to show
their emotions.
Encourage participation in events following
the death. Tell the children about
the events that will be taking place (i.e.,
wake, funeral, burial). Give the children
permission to choose the extent of their
participation.
Help a child to commemorate the life of
the deceased.
Try to maintain a sense of normalcy. To
restore some semblance of security, try
to follow the children’s normal routine as
closely as possible.
Also, the popular television show
“Sesame Street” has many wonderful
resources to help connect with a child
who is mourning.
Children generally grieve in diff erent
ways than adults. As family and caregivers,
we can recognize this and guide them
with love through a diffi cult time. Ask
your family funeral director for names
of local bereavement counselors who can
help.
Courtesy of NYS Funeral
Directors Association
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