FOR BREAKING NEWS VISIT WWW.QNS.COM FEBRUARY 20, 2020 • COPING WITH DEATH • THE QUEENS COURIER 43
coping with death
Helping children
deal with grief
Coping Wi th D eat h spons o re d by :
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Mar t in A . G l eas on Fune ral home L . L . C . : Th e P re f e r red Choi c e
We sympathize when we see
someone experiencing grief
caused by the death of a loved
one, but there is something especially
poignant about a child who
grieves over the loss of a parent,
grandparent, sibling, or even a
beloved pet.
When children experience the
death of a loved one they grieve
just as adults do, but they may
not be able to verbalize their
sorrow.
To compound this, many
adults may not feel comfortable
dealing with children’s sadness,
especially when grieving themselves.
Th ey don’t know how to start
the conversation, they don’t
know what to say, and, especially,
they are fearful of saying the
wrong things.
So what can you do? Th ere are
many wonderful books that can
help. For example, in “Helping
Children Grieve,” Theresa
Huntley includes some basic
suggestions excerpted here that
will help adults who want to console
a grieving child:
• Be aware of personal feelings.
When we are in touch with
our own feelings (sadness, loss,
regret), we will be better able
to help bereaved children deal
with theirs.
• Recognize that each child’s
level of understanding is diff erent.
Provide the children with
information and responses
appropriate for their age level.
• Recognize that each child will
grieve diff erently.
• Encourage questions.
• Encourage the expression of
feelings. Let children know
that it is okay to show their
emotions.
• Encourage participation in
events following the death. Tell
the children about the events
that will be taking place (i.e.,
wake, funeral, burial). Give the
children permission to choose
the extent of their participation.
• Help a child to commemorate
the life of the deceased.
• Try to maintain a sense of
normalcy. To restore some
semblance of security,
try to follow the children’s
normal routine
as closely as possible.
Also, the popular television
show “Sesame
Street” has many wonderful
resources to help
connect with a child
who is mourning.
Children generally
grieve in
diff erent ways
than adults.
As family and
caregivers, we
can recognize
this and guide
them with love
through a diffi -
cult time. Ask
your family
funeral director
for names of local
bereavement counselors
who can help.
Courtesy of NYS Funeral
Directors Association
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