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How to manage depression during the holidays
BY MICHELLE GABRIELLE
CENTAMORE
EDITORIAL@QNS.COM
@QNS
The holiday season is typically
a time of joy and laughter for most
people. However, financial stress,
feelings of isolation, loss of a loved
one, or another traumatic event can
turn what is often a merry time into
one of depression and loneliness.
The devastating effects COVID-19
has had on individuals and families
may only exacerbate these feelings.
Experts advise being hypervigilant
and compassionate with yourself
and others this season while taking
steps to make the holidays not only
bearable but enjoyable, too. Everyone
deserves a good holiday!
“During the holidays, it helps to
focus on what we can control,” says
Fred Holtz, Ph.D., executive director
of Psychological Services Long
Island. “Cognitive coping statements”
and “positive self-talk” can go a long
way in supporting oneself through a
challenging time, Dr. Holtz notes.
“We internalize things we repeatedly
hear, so if we fi ll our day with positive
statements, we will eventually
internalize these,” he adds.
Dr. Holtz suggests that you can
influence comfort and happiness
with statements such as:
“I can choose what gatherings to go
to and which to avoid.”
“I can deal with this. I have done well
in these situations before.”
“I will practice self-care and not put
pressure on myself.”
“I will seek out positive friends and
relatives and enjoy their company.”
“I can enjoy these holidays in my
own way.”
Holtz advises not to spread yourself
too thin this season, and to be
supportive of others who may be
experiencing similar feelings.
“Learn to say ‘no’ if the situation is
too stressful,” he says.
Understanding that you are not
alone may help to put things in perspective
and help you to move to a
place of acceptance, says Josh King,
PsyD, director of clinical and digital
services integration at the Center for
Motivation and Change, Long Island,
N.Y.C., D.C., and MA. “Acknowledge
and recognize that this is a hard
time and begin to strategize on how
to get through it. The minute you
work on acceptance, you’re going
to be flexible and able to find ways
of engaging, regardless of what is
going on.”
Practicing both mindfulness and
distracting skills may help you stay
balanced and focused in situations
where you may otherwise feel anxious
and sad.
“Ask yourself, ‘How do I be present
for that moment even if it does
not feel like exactly what I wanted?’”
poses Dr. King. If you find yourself
jumping ahead, try an exercise like
counting backwards from 100 by
7, he suggests. “It can help to bring
you back into the moment and get
centered.”
Be kind to yourself, experts say.
Take some time to do what you most
enjoy or what makes you feel calm
and at peace. A warm bath, a stroll
through town in fresh air, or reading
a good book, for example.
“Exercise is a well-known remedy
for depression,” notes Dr. Holtz.
“Exerting yourself actually creates
adrenaline and other hormones that
improve mood.”
In order to help yourself or someone
else through depression, know
the signs, says Randy Tanzer, licensed
clinical social worker, Long Island.
“Any changes in behavior should
be noticed,” she says. These include
changes in patterns of eating, sleeping,
and the ability to “function”
academically, with work or in completing
daily living tasks.
“Behavior is there to show us
things about what a person is going
through or how they are functioning
in ways they can’t say with words,”
she adds.
Behavioral changes should not be
ignored any time of year, including
the holiday season, advises Tanzer.
“If you know someone who is suffering
with depression and may
have a more challenging time this
season, reach out to them,” says
Tanzer. “People want to be heard
and understood … ‘I’ statements help.
‘I care’ or ‘I love you’ can go a long
way in showing someone you care. If
we gently intervene, something can
change for the better.”
Invite others to participate in
charitable endeavors, enjoy holiday
music, or decorate — “small acts you
can do together to help boost spirits,”
Tanzer suggests. She advises,
“If things begin to feel too out of
control, however, seek professional
support.”
HOLIDAYS
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