WWW.QNS.COM RIDGEWOOD TIMES OCTOBER 29, 2020 31
COPING WITH DEATH
Is closure ever possible?
We hear people talking about
“closure” as if there is a door
that can be shut aft er experiencing
a tragedy in our lives, losing a
loved one or being witness to a horrifi c
event such as the terrorist attack on the
World Trade Center.
Friends might ask, “Haven’t you
reached closure yet?”
Grief cannot be forced or pushed or
closed off from our minds.
There is no magic formula for working
through grief.
The fact of the matter is that grief
must be expressed and dealt with.
We all experience and react to loss in
diff erent ways depending on the relationship
of the deceased to us, our past
experiences with loss, and sometimes
even our health and emotional state.
Grieving for a lost loved one can take
years, sometimes a lifetime.
According to Curtis Rostad, a Certifi
ed Funeral Service Practitioner who
has been a licensed funeral director
since 1973, there is no such thing as
closure.
He maintains that those who refuse to
begin the journey through grief simply
delay their own recovery.
Rostad goes on to explain why he
thinks the concept of closure is mentioned
so oft en in today’s culture. “It
should come as little surprise that a
generation of people brought up with
minute rice, instant coff ee and microwave
ovens would search for quick
relief from something we call grief,” he
says.
“We hear it from those who go to the
scene of a disaster where their family
member has died. We hear it from those
who witness the execution of the person
convicted of killing their loved one. We
hear it expressed by those who have
someone missing in war.”
In Rostad’s long experience in helping
families deal with grief, he has found
that seeking closure only produces
feelings of frustration that join the
emotions of sorrow.
There is no closure, but there is a
point where people have a great deal
of acceptance, even peace of mind, and
are able to move on to a diff erent frame
of mind.
It’s a frame of mind that leaves them
supported by the memories, but empowered
to continue with their lives
knowing they did all they could do with
respect to the person they lost.
Why would anyone seek closure?
Why would anyone want to close the
door on thoughts about a departed
loved one?
Grief will soft en in the years aft er a
loss, but the door to memories should
always be open.
Courtesy of NYS Funeral Directors
Association
Lasting impressions
are our first priority.
A funeral service represents a family’s
final farewell to their loved one. Knowing this,
we go beyond what is expected to ensure
the ceremony is beautiful and memorable...
a truly fitting tribute to that special life.
We invite you to visit us to meet our staff
and tour our facility. We think you’ll be
pleased to find that making lasting impressions
is our first priority.
MORTON FUNERAL HOME /
RIDGEWOOD CHAPELS
Continuing a proud tradition of dignified, personal service.
49
• Pre-Planning
• Serving the Financial
Burden of All Families
in Their Time of Need
• A One Level Concept of
a Modern Funeral Home
• Large Chapels
• Newly Renovated
• Large Parking Facility
on Premises
718-366-1900
www.senecachapels.com
494 Seneca Avenue,
Ridgewood, NY 11385
Village Chapels, Inc.
67-67 Eliot Avenue
Middle Village, NY 11379
718-458-3000
Funeral Directors
John DiMario,
George H. Luhrin
/www.senecachapels.com
/WWW.QNS.COM
/www.senecachapels.com