30 THE QUEENS COURIER • NOVEMBER 4, 2021 FOR BREAKING NEWS VISIT WWW.QNS.COM
coping with death
Packing up a home after a death
When people die, they oft en leave
behind a lifetime’s worth of memories
and possessions.
Usually, it falls to the person’s family
and friends to clean up their homes and
pack up and sort out their belongings.
Depending on the size of a person’s
home, how much stuff they own and how
long they’ve lived in their house, the process
of cleaning and packing up can be a
long one.
If you’ve been given the responsibility
of handling your loved one’s possessions
aft er they’ve passed on, here’s how to cope
with death and the occasionally complicated
process of packing up a house.
Break up the project
Whether your loved one lived in a
small, one-bedroom apartment or a
massive, three-story home, the process
of sorting through their belongings aft er
the funeral can seem overwhelming at
fi rst.
Splitting what looks like a larger project
into smaller, more manageable pieces
is part of learning how to cope with death.
For example, you can decide to focus
on one room at a time or on one type
of object at a time, such as the person’s
paperwork or personal documents.
Focusing on a single area can also help
to contain the mess that is likely to develop
as you sift through someone’s belongings.
If you live in the house you are cleaning,
having the project contained in a single
room can help you go about with your
other daily responsibilities without a constant
reminder of it.
Get support
If your loved one named you the executor
of their will, sorting through their
possessions and cleaning out their house
isn’t something you need to handle on
your own.
Ask other family members to step in
and help you organize and clean.
“You can divide tasks up based on people’s
strengths and talents,” said Michael
A. Lanotte, Executive Director & CEO
of the New York State Funeral Directors
Association. “For example, if a sibling or
cousin is an attorney, you can ask them
to sort through the deceased’s paperwork,
taking out the documents that need to
be kept and getting rid of the non-essential
papers. Asking a person who might
not have known the deceased well to help
can also be useful. Th ey can provide an
objective opinion about certain possessions
that might have sentimental meaning
for you.”
Decide how to divide up items
People oft en state how they want their
estate and possessions divided up aft er
their death.
If your loved one left behind a will, then
part of the process of deciding how to split
up their belongings might have already
been taken care of.
In some cases, people don’t specify who
gets what in their will but instead ask their
family members to place stickers on items
in the house to claim those items.
If your loved one didn’t do any of that,
it’s up to you to decide what to do with
their possessions.
One option is to have close family visit
the house and take items they’d like to
have.
Th at can lead to arguments, especially if
there are expensive items that more than
one person wants.
In the case of valuable belongings or
potential heirlooms, it might be a good
idea to have the items appraised to determine
their value.
If one family member really wants a
piece of jewelry or a valuable piece of
antique furniture, a solution might be to
have them split up the cost of the item and
pay the other family members their share
of the item.
Get professional help
It’s likely that there will be some belongings
that no one in your family or immediate
circle is interested in.
You’ll most likely also fi nd some items
that are past their prime and not worth
keeping. You don’t have to take responsibility
for hauling items to the landfi ll or
recycling center.
You can hire a company to take care of
that job for you.
You might also want to hire someone to
come and evaluate any useful items that
no one in your family wants.
It might also be worthwhile to hire
someone to oversee a yard sale or an
estate sale or auction of your loved one’s
belongings.
Although it’s easy to get overwhelmed
by the process of cleaning up and packing
up your loved one’s home aft er their
death, remembering to give yourself time
and space and to lean on others for support
will help you get through the process.
Courtesy NYS Funeral
Directors Association
/WWW.QNS.COM
