40 The Queens Courier • coping with death • MARCH 5, 2015 for breaking news visit www.queenscourier.com coping with death s Dealing with the loneliness BY MARIA GEORGOPOU LOS , MA The loneliness that may be felt when a loved one dies can be difficult to handle. Each relationship has a different impact on our lives and the space that person filled is a unique one. We may have a lifetime of love and memories invested with that person or brief moments shared that will always hold a special meaning. Our parents affect our lives in many ways. They serve as our home base, emotionally or physically. We may have spent years being a caregiver to them, may have lived with them for all or most of our lives or worked hard to gain our independence as soon as we could. Whatever our situation, the death of a parent can leave behind a profound loneliness. No one else can fill the role of a parent in the ways that our parents have, no matter how many mistakes they have made or how conflicted our relationship may have been. Caregivers can often feel confused about how to spend their time after their parent’s death, having devoted most or all of their free time to their parent’s care. Adult children may have also given up activities they enjoyed and neglected to keep up with friendships due to their hectic schedule. Then, when parents die, they are left with the task of rediscovering themselves– forming new relationships and finding joy in activities they had put aside for some time. Our spouses or partners are our companions; those we have chosen to walk the journey of life. The death of a spouse or partner can really bring on a devastating loneliness. The absence of your spouse or partner can be sorely missed, particularly at night when spouses are acutely aware of the empty space at home. Parents who have lost children can feel a big void in their lives. Whether they were adult children who lived near or far or young children who were growing up at home, the loneliness that accompanies the death of a child can be so draining. The house can hold such dear reminders of children; lifetimes of memories can, at times, be painful to recall. Each relationship is dear to us in a different way. The death of siblings, grandparents, friends and other loved ones have their impact on our lives. When grief is fresh, loneliness may seem to be too much to bear or it may feel like things will never change at first. There is hope of leading fulfilling, happy lives, but this will take time. Eventually, exploring ways to take care of ourselves and develop a healthy support network do help. You might try calling a friend to catch a movie or talk about your feelings with. You may explore activities you may have forgotten you enjoyed. You can ask for some company and visit a beloved place where you used to spend time with your loved one who died. Support groups are also an effective way to alleviate some loneliness. Talking with others about your shared grief somehow lightens it, even if for a little while. – Courtesy of Calvary Hospital Look to us at a time when compassion and trust are needed the most. Newly Renovated Facilities • Chapel, Family Gathering & Graveside Services Available • Arrangements Can be Made in the Comfort of Your Own Home • Live Broadcasting of Funeral Service Over the Internet • Monument and Inscription Services Available On-site • FDIC Insured Pre-Arrangements • On Staff Rabbi to Answer All Questions Call 24 Hours a Day, 7 Days a Week 718-896-9000 or 1-888-860-8616 PARKSIDE MEMORIAL CHAPELS INC. 98-60 Queens Boulevard • Forest Hills, NY Other Chapels Located in Rockville Center, Woodbury, Brooklyn, and in Florida in Dade County, Broward County, Palm Beach Counties www.parksidememorialchapels.com
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