50 LONGISLANDPRESS.COM • OCTOBER 2019
FAMILY & EDUCATION
BALANCING BUSY KIDS’ SCHEDULES
continued from page 49
Finding the right mix of school, extracurricular
activities, and free time
is a challenge for many families. The
book Seraphina Does EVERYTHING!
by Melissa Gratias tells the story of
today’s families through Seraphina,
who with her various hobbies, clubs,
and sports winds up overwhelmed
and underprepared to succeed in
her jam-packed schedule of activities.
Children’s schedules can get out of
control from them taking on too much
as they explore their often-changing
interests, but also from parents who
are pushing to prepare them to be
ideal students for college, with a bio
packed with activities designed to
impress.
“There has to be balance: You don’t
want to become victims of the schedule,”
says Howell.
Here’s how to juggle without dropping
the ball.
PRIORITIZE
“I recommend students find out what
they’re passionate about and pursue
that wholeheartedly,” says Christopher
Rim, CEO of Command Education,
a New York City company that
offers student mentoring, tutoring
and other services.
“They should tier their activities
from tasks they feel most strongly
about and to those that are more cursory
extracurriculars,” he says. “That
way, when push comes to shove, a
student knows where their priorities
lie and can choose one commitment
over another instead of spreading
themselves too thin.”
KEEP PERSPECTIVE
Parents naturally want to do their
part to help their kids get into college,
but it can have the reverse effect.
“Don’t focus on making your child
seem well rounded,” warns Rim.
“That’s how kids end up with
Kids need downtime in addition to their extracurricular activities. (Getty Images)
rehearsals, practices, and tutoring sessions
back to back seven days a week.”
If you want to tweak their schedule,
add things that relieve stress.
“Give them a journal to process
their thoughts, plan weekly family
game nights — not every minute of
their day has to be spent résumé
building,” says Rim. “As much as
your child is preparing to become a
college student, they’re preparing to
be a person in the world. They should
learn strategies to manage stress and
how to have fun.”
GIVE TIME FOR TRIALS
It’s hard to know how a new activity
will change things. Allowing a trial
period for ongoing evaluation is
helpful. Set a time period, say six
weeks, to evaluate and discuss how
your child is feeling.
“Stay flexible, nothing is written in
stone,” says Dana Dorfman, a psychotherapist
in New York City.
Children exhibit overload in various
ways, depending upon their developmental
stage and personalities,
says Dorfman.
“Some children can express their
feelings,” she says. “Others experience
physical complaints such as
stomachaches and headaches, or
resist the activity entirely.”
Take note if your child has significant
changes in eating or sleeping,
or difficulty concentrating.
Says Dorfman, “They may be
overwhelmed, particularly if these
things persist for two weeks or
more.”
SET THE PACE
Don’t live an overbooked life yourself.
The kids are watching.
“Show kids through your actions
that life balance is important,” says
Gratias. “Our children look to us
for guidance. Teach them to say no
to opportunities and activities that
could lead to an unbalanced life.
View each change in season as an
opportunity to re-evaluate family
commitments.”
"You don’t want to become victims of the
schedule,” says Olivia Howell.
/LONGISLANDPRESS.COM
