MARCH 2021 • LONGISLANDPRESS.COM 37
FAMILY & EDUCATION OF YOUR ATTORNEY
PANDEMIC PARENTING
SUPPORTING KIDS’
WELL-BEING
Parents need to talk to their kids about their feelings. (Getty Images)
BY CARA ZELAS
With children’s education being disrupted
during the pandemic and with
ongoing school closures, hybrid and
remote learning, Zoom fatigue, and
finding the right access to technology,
a lot of pressure has been put on the
shoulders of parents and caregivers.
It is difficult, at times, to maintain
positive emotions within ourselves,
let alone for our children. However, as
remote school continues for some children,
it is important to help them build
positive routines, nurture emotional
self-regulation, and build resilience.
“People develop new understandings
of themselves, the world they live in,
how to relate to other people, the kind
of future they might have, and a better
understanding of how to live life,” says
Richard Tedeschi, who developed the
theory of post traumatic growth with
fellow psychologist Lawrence Calhoun.
Here are some strategies and tips on
supporting you and your children’s
emotional well-being that may help
your family get through this new year
with a firm footing.
KEEP TALKING
Clear and honest communication is
important to maintain with your children.
Listen, show understanding, and
acknowledge that this is an uncertain
and difficult time. Successful communication
can deepen relationships as it
brings awareness to each other’s needs.
NAME FEELINGS
Noticing and naming our emotions
can help diffuse a situation and assist
children in processing their feelings.
Naming our emotions helps us to step
back and think about the choices we
have in that moment.
MODEL POSITIVITY
Try and think of one positive thing that
you can focus on. And in a moment of
despair or sadness, bring your attention
back to that one positive thing. When
your children see you being positive,
they copy or model what they see.
SUSTAIN ROUTINES
Be consistent with when you eat, work,
play, and go to sleep. Pepper your day
with rituals: Create a family dream
board that you all add to; at bedtime,
talk about one positive experience of
the day; do a short breathing exercise
together; make up a special hug that
you give each other; or think up a little
mantra or saying that you repeat, such
as “I love you to the moon and back.”
MAINTAIN
INTERACTIONS
Stay connected with others in a small
group, where you can comfortably
social distance and wear a mask
but be together. Have your child be
old-school and write a letter or card
to a loved one via snail mail. Make
a video or record voice messages to
send to family and friends.
This story first appeared in New York
Family.
POWER OF YOUR ATTORNEY
PLANNING FOR CHILDREN
WITH SPECIAL NEEDS
BY JENNIFER B. CONA, ESQ.,
CONA ELDER LAW
Estate planning is important for
everyone, but for families with a
special-needs child, it is nothing
short of critical. As a child with
special needs approaches age 18,
families must prepare for continued
decision-making for that child and
secure legal authority to do so.
Understanding the types of specialneeds
trusts and the guardianship
proceeding available for individuals
with special needs is the best place
to start to protect your loved ones.
Preparing a Last Will and Testament
is the first order of business for
parents of a child with special
needs. It is important to make sure
that your child’s inheritance is
directed into a special-needs trust
(also called a supplemental-needs
trust) for the child’s benefit. Specialneeds
trusts permit individuals with
special needs to retain funds from
an inheritance without eliminating
or reducing government benefits
such as Medicaid or Supplemental
Security Income (SSI) benefits.
Third-party special-needs trusts are
established by an individual such
as a parent or grandparent with
their assets for the benefit of a child
or grandchild with special needs.
A third-party special-needs trust
may be established and funded
during the parents’/grandparents’
lifetime (a living trust) or may
be established in a Last Will and
Testament (a testamentary trust)
and therefore not created or funded
until the death of the parent/
grandparent. In either case, the
creation or funding of the thirdparty
special-needs trust has no
effect on the child’s eligibility for
government benefits. Further, as
another individual’s assets are used
to fund the third-party trust, there
is no payback requirement to the
state. Instead, any assets remaining
in the trust at the time the person
with special needs passes away
may be inherited by other family
members or beneficiaries.
Self-settled special-needs trusts
can be established by a parent,
grandparent, legal guardian, or the
special-needs person themselves (if
they have capacity) under the age of
65. The difference, however, is that
this trust is funded with the assets
of the person with
special needs,
such as lawsuit
proceeds, retroactive government
benefits, or an inheritance which
was left outright to them. The
trust must be a payback trust and
therefore any funds remaining in
the trust upon the death of the
special-needs person must be
paid back to the government as
reimbursement for government
benefits expended on their behalf.
Parents of children with special
needs must plan for the child’s
care beyond the age of 18. If
parents wish to continue to make
important decisions for their
child after age 18, such as medical
care, financial, and residential
placement decisions, they must
become the legal guardian of the
child. A petition to become the
guardian in this case is typically
brought in the Surrogate’s Court
and is appropriate for children
with intellectual or developmental
disabilities. An Article 17A
Guardianship covers most decisions
that are usually made by a parent
for a child, including healthcare and
financial decisions. The court can
appoint a guardian of the person,
the property, or both.
For more information on planning
for your child with special needs,
join us for our free webinar on
Wednesday, March 3 at 10 a.m.
www.schnepsmedia.com/webinars/.
Jennifer B. Cona, Esq. is the Founder
and Managing Partner of Cona Elder
Law PLLC. Cona Elder Law is an
award-winning law firm concentrating
in the areas of elder law, estate
planning, estate administration and
litigation, and health care law. Cona
Elder Law takes a holistic approach
to elder law, providing support
and resources for older adults and
caregivers, and maintaining longterm,
partnering relationships with
clients to provide the best solutions
for multiple generations. The firm has
been ranked the #1 Elder Law Firm by
Long Island Business News for eight
consecutive years and received the
Business Achievement Award from
the Hauppauge Industrial Association
(HIA-LI). For additional information,
visit www.conaelderlaw.com.
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