Family
Self Love in the Time of Coronavirus:
Mental Health Tips for Parents
BY LAURA VLADIMIROVA
& EVELYN GAMA
Everyone reading this, stop.
Take a big, beautiful, and
deep breath. We’re going
to keep going. We’re going to fi nd
new ways to be normal, to fi nd
big, hearty laughs and celebrate
joy with our children.
Learning to manage this current
state of anxiety and fi ghting
for joy is a fi ght worth having. In
fact, it is more important now
than ever. Let’s use the acronym
CALM to stay present, loving, and
open for the benefi t of our mental
health and the benefi t of cultivating
even more love for our littles.
Create a plan
There’s something everyone’s
been saying that isn’t of much
help, “Oh, it’s just like the fl u.”
Minimizing or ignoring your
worry or anxiety doesn’t actually
make it go away. Instead, it buries
itself deeper into your mind and
makes things worse. Within manageable
levels, worry and anxiety
are there to help us plan and be
prepared for potential threats.
The problem occurs when our
mind and body enter a constant
state of worry and rumination
rather than planning.
Acceptance
Accept that we are in a diffi
cult time, and we won’t have all
the answers for the foreseeable
future. Accept that no one is
perfect, and so many of us are
trying our best. With that acceptance,
you can attune to what
you need to be able to cope with
the uncertainty and the distress
that creates. Acceptance does not
mean ignoring feelings. Instead, it
means holding feelings and still
being able to move forward.
Limit the fl ow of activating
information. We were already
inundated with information
before coronavirus, and now it
feels even more urgent. It feels
like this is all anyone wants to
talk about! While that may be
true, for those with anxiety or
developing anxiety, this can be
overwhelming. With 24-hour
news cycles, Twitter, Reddit, and
more, we have so many sources of
information throughout the day
that it becomes easy to stay in an
activated fi ght or fl ight response
at all times. This exhausts our
nervous system and keeps us in
a state of anxious anticipation.
Limit your experience to a few
trusted sources. Set aside times
to check news and updates. Set
up a buffer before bedtime to
protect healthy sleep. It’s wise to
stay informed. It is also wise to
ensure adequate rest, nutrition,
and authentic connection with
your family, partner, or body.
Mindfulness
This biggest buzzword of the
last few years is on this list for a
reason: It works. Mindfulness is
such a valuable tool right now. It
allows you to balance and smooth
out that fi ght or fl ight activation
with softer, gentler moments that
create a more open, social, or
serene feeling. For many people,
mindfulness feels out of reach
in their hectic day-to-day lives.
While creating a meditation practice
is a worthy goal, mindfulness
can also be found in smaller, attainable
changes. In this context,
mindfulness refers not to empty
the mind, but to cueing into the
moment, you’re in.
Sometimes that can mean
taking a moment to attune to
self. Can you fi nd a moment in
your day to tune into what you’re
thinking and feeling for 3 minutes?
Watch those thoughts go by
without judging them or rushing
into problem-solving. Turn your
awareness to them and take deep
breaths to bring your body into
awareness as well. As you practice
mindfulness, you may notice a
self-care need coming forth during
this time. I need a few minutes
alone, or I need to connect to a
friend today. Use that information
to create moments of self-care and
self-soothing.
Other times, mindfulness can
mean cueing into the moment
you are in with others or a task
at hand. Parents who are staying
in more often with their children
during this time and canceling
events can compassionately notice
their own feelings around being
stuck inside and then try to create
a few moments throughout
the day of mindful, engaged
play. This is a time to put away
phones and distractions and let
your child or children do what
they do so naturally, which is to
be entirely in the moment they are
in. If you struggle with this, you
can set yourself up for success
by thinking about a type of play
you actually enjoy – art activities,
baking, or board games — and
engaging with your kids in those
activities.
One thing that coronavirus
has brought to the surface is
how truly dependent we are on
each other, for better or worse.
We may need our neighbor to
be an ally at this time, they may
need us to help them too. Our
partners and friends need us
to be authentic, which means
showcasing both care and worry
earnestly. Our kids need us to
keep their lives full of honesty
and as normal as possible. We
need all of that, too, so we
fi ght to stay grateful, calm and
loving to ourselves so we can
keep showing up for others
in this unprecedented time of
connectedness.
18 March 26, 2020 Schneps Media