Coping with death
Caribbean Life, May 1-7, 2020 17
Prescription for
grief relief
BY BROOKLYN PAPER
“Oh to be a stone! To feel no grief!”
The Greek dramatist Euripides wrote
these words 400 years before the birth of
Christ. Grief is the price of love. When we
love someone and they die, we feel the pain
of grief. However, there are steps we can
take that may ease the stress and hasten our
recovery.
Here are some tips that can help the bereaved
on their journey through grief:
Go back to work. If you had a job, return
as soon as possible. Work is a healthy distraction
from the pain of loss. If you were not
in the workplace, fi nd a job.
Stay fi t. Exercise can help you both physically
and emotionally because activity provides
an outlet for stress.
Enroll in a class. Not only does taking
a class provide you with a healthy diversion
from grief but it also can supply practical
knowledge for improving the quality of your
life.
Be good to yourself. Do not hesitate to
treat yourself to something you truly enjoy.
Take some time to write down a list of
things that bring you pleasure such as displaying
a vase of fresh fl owers, gardening,
leisurely reading a newspaper, etc. Then, try
to engage in at least one of these activities
daily.
Volunteer your time. Another effective
way to get out of the house and provide some
grief relief is through volunteering. Local
community groups or museums and historic
sites always welcome people who can spare
some time to support their activities.
Talk about your grief with a friend. Expressing
and exploring your feelings with a
trusted friend is one of the best things you
can do for yourself. Talking helps relieve the
pressure, brings you perspective, and keeps
you in touch with others. Cry when you feel
like it.
Read practical articles and books about
grief. Reading about bereavement is an excellent
way to fi nd your way through this diffi -
cult, uncharted experience.
Guide your thinking. According to
Laurence G. Boldt, author of Zen Soup:
“’Thoughts, as Emerson put it, rule the world;
for the simple reason that thoughts determine
feelings and actions. We can think ourselves
into happiness or a deep depression. We can
think ourselves into health or illness. If we
only take care of our thoughts, our feelings
and actions will take care of themselves.”
Cultivate hope on a daily basis. When
the days seem too long, the nights endless
and hope a distant memory, rinse your mind
and fortify your spirit by refl ecting on words
of hope. Though your journey through grief
may seem dark, the light of recovery will
break through.
Most survivors will fi nd solace in these
suggestions. But if you feel that your grief is
overwhelming your life, ask your family funeral
director for the name of a local bereavement
counselor who can guide you through
resolving your feelings of sadness and loss.
Material in this column was excerpted (with
permission) from an article authored by Victor
M. Parachin, a National Funeral Directors Association
grief educator and minister.
– Courtesy of NYS Funeral Directors Association