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OF NYC WOMEN OF IMPACT
BRONX TIMES REPORTER, F BTR EBRUARY 5-11, 2021 23
Women’s Heart Health
How to talk to your kids
about heart disease
You or your partner has just been
diagnosed with heart disease.
How will you tell your kids?
First, realize that this will not be one
conversation; it will be a series of conversations,
says Dr. Jennifer Connor-
Smith, a clinical psychologist based in
Portland, OR. Prepare what you want
to say and end the conversation with an
open-door policy. Also, make sure to get
started sooner rather than later.
“It is easy for parents to get hung up
on the possibility that they might say
something wrong, and then end up putting
off the conversation,” she says. “It
is important to know that not quite the
perfect thing said with love and good
intentions is better than a conversation
that never happens.”
HERE’S HOW TO GET STARTED
Pick a good time: When is your
child most receptive to serious conversation?
Right before bed? On a car ride?
On a walk around the neighborhood?
Connor-Smith recommends thinking
carefully about the best time to have a
conversation before launching in.
Give information piece by piece:
Not all kids will jump to the “are you
going to die?” conversation. Some of
them will have more practical questions.
They may want to see a model of
a heart to understand what is happening.
Others will want to know if your
disease means a cancellation of next
week’s vacation. Let out information
slowly and then wait for questions to
come. “When children ask questions,
ask them to tell you what they are
thinking about or if they have a special
worry on their mind at the moment,”
she recommends. “The more information
you can get from them, the better
you will understand what they are
thinking.”
Explain it’s not their fault: Since
some children may blame themselves
for a parent’s disease, it is important
to be clear about their lack of fault.
“Younger children may worry that
they caused your heart disease because
they may have said, ‘I hate you’
in the past when they were angry,”
says Connor-Smith. “Make sure to tell
them that the disease is not their fault
and that there are things you can do to
make things better, like exercising and
eating healthy.”
Make them feel secure: Negative
health news can cause children to
worry about a change in daily routine,
says Connor-Smith. Abate these fears
by explaining what day-to-day changes
to expect and how long they will last —
from who will pick them up at school
when you are at a doctor’s appointment,
to who will pack their favorite
lunch. “This is a great place to accept
help from friends,” she says. “If they offer,
ask them to help pack lunches and
pick up your kids from sports practices.
It will help your children cope if
you can keep their routines in order.”
Do not talk about your concerns:
According to Connor-Smith, the biggest
mistake parents can make is to
share their personal concerns with
their children, e.g. the fi nancial cost of
treatment and how it will affect one’s
profession. She says, “Those things
need to stay adult concerns. They
should not be shared with children;
they will only make the child feel more
anxious and helpless.”
The American Heart Association’s Women of
Impact Campaign brings together passionate
groups of women across the nation, dedicated to
improving the state of women’s health by raising
awareness and funds for Go Red for Women®.
Reena Gupte Joshi
AHA Volunteer &
Changemaker
Suzy
Davidkhanian
AHA Volunteer &
Innovator
Amy Edens
Marketer & 2020
NYC Go Red
Lifestyle Change
Award Winner
Hailey Rogers
National Account
Executive
iHeartMedia
Prachi Makkar
Associate
Blackstone
Sophia Wagner
Manager, Strategy
and Transactions
EY
Cynthia LaForte
AHA Young
Professional Board
Member &
Psychotherapist
Annabelle Jimenez
AHA Volunteer &
2018 NYC Go Red
Lifestyle Change
Award Winner